You mean WW's family and friends, right? If so, I did exposed to her family and friends ,except for her mother and my mother. I'll expose to the remaining today.

edit: Should I continue to give her to trust that she can come home after the affair has really ended?

edit2: Should I tell her that I think she wants her independence so she can be with OM? I had told her that the things she says makes me think that way.

And the most important exposure target: THE OM'S WIFE! Close that deal by speaking to her asap.


No. She has not left so don't make any deals like that.

I have talked with OM's wife face to face. She said OM will go throug a dicipline investigation at work.
I have talked with WW's mother. She said she'll talk with WW but didn't. Her husband was with her at the moment. I believe he didn't let her talk with WW.
List is comleted.

OM's wife called WW. WW pissed off and now bombarding me form whatsapp.

Should I try to calm her down or should I ignore her?

Tell her you want to have a happy marriage with her. Don't argue with her.

I did. But she says she doesn't want to be married with me anymore.

You did good! I would keep in touch with the OM's wife and help each other kill this affair. Will she be your ally? Will she give you the contact Info for the OMs parents?

The next step will be to get your exposures finished and then do your best to present yourself as an attractive, pleasant spouse. Don't fight with her and don't let her bait you into a fight. Ask her to end her affair the OM; be a broken record.

In the meantime, be prepared to call the OMS wife anytime you see they are in contact. Refresh my memory, do they work together?

They are in different companies. There is business relationship between companies. OM's wife also has no job and OM most probably will loose his job. So OM's wife is a little upset for my workspace exposure. I don't know if she'll give me OM'S family contacts. I think main reason for Ww to be so pissed off against me is for my workspace exposure and ruining their kids future.

I am on the way to meet my wife.
While she is pissed off how can I present myself as a pleasant spouse. I did that before and she got more angry or resentful.

Dear Armagan,

I hope you do understand that everyone here are correctly evaluating your situation and let me assure you, they will predict correctly the future of it. Not because of some special oracle skills but because they (and I) have encountered here a number of similar situation and many of them (incl I) have a personal experience.

If you have read Melodylane's exposure 101 thread then there is specifically stated (in section Fallout) that real exposure will cause WS anger - but the greater the anger the better the exposure impact.

In my case - some of my friends knew, they even talked to my WW not to hurt me anymore etc. It meant nothing. Only when after discovering that the affair was still active after false promises I exposed to OMW. The outcome revealed OM-s true personality and the affair ended quickly.

Exposing to the OMW is the most important step for the killing affair. Other exposure targets are usually helpful but the spouse who have been cheated on is the most harmed person in this and can usually make steps (if correctly informed, of course) that affect greatly the affair. OM/WW usually know that and make everything in their power to keep OMW in the dark.

As you see from your case - initially your WW tries to convince you that the affair is over and the exposure made her see the light etc (and you seem to believe this utter rubbish) - but only the exposure to the OMW reveals your wife's true intentions. And reveals her anger because you shattered these intentions to pieces.

Right now, you have made a greatest step since the beginning. Hang on, your WW will try to "punish" you for disturbing her plans. She will threaten you with lot of stuff, including divorce and so on. You will find the instructions for your best behavior from Melodylane's exposure 101 thread.

No, the reason your wife is angry is because you interfered with her affair. It is silly to suggest she is upset because of the OMs children. She is having an affair with their father!!!! Did she care about his children when she was screwing their married father? You need to stop believing the silly things your fogged out wife says and use your common sense.

WHY? It serves no purpose to go meet with h when she is furious. You need to wait and do see her, tell her that everyone should know about her affair and ask her to end it immediately.

She wanted me to come. I said I have arrived and she'll be here in 30mins. Should I go back?

She doesn't admit that it is going on. She is coming directly to our home after work for the last three weeks. and I have no evidence that it is going on. I have webwatcher installed. When I say we need this affair to end she laughs at me. She says there is nothing left.

I see your point: Pavlov's dogs.

OM's wife told me that OM had an affair before. He had also told my wife. I have learned today. Perhaps I can tell her that he would leave soon her when he is done with her.

Just leave. And ask her to prove her affair is over and to send the OM a no contact letter. Doesn't she work with this guy?

She has just packed and left the house with the kid.



She has gone to her friend.

Talk about scoring a direct hit. You have torpedoed WW's affair. The affair is now taking on water and has WW frantic trying to save her affair so it does not sink.

Great job. Took too long but better now then never. You see the madder a WW gets when the affair is exposed that shows how effective the exposure was.

I don't feel that it is better now. Any ways I decided to follow MB way and I have got nothing to loose now.

Please guide me. What should I do now?

First, I would plan to protect your assets and also make sure she does not run off with your child. It is not uncommon for waywards in distress to drain bank accounts and do other crazy things.

Second, you want to Plan A by being the best man you can be and showing her a great place to come home to. Does she have any complaints about you? Fix them. When you interact with her, fill her EN's and do not lovebust. Fill her banks where and when you can. Have you been doing these things?

I have no assets to protect. I don't have a job at the moment. We have some money in my bank account and she asked me to send the half of it to her immediately. Should I send? She has a well paid job. I have no other money. I am staying in our house. When she moves to an other house with the kid, our expenses will be much more. I can move to a cheaper house then they would need and let them stay in our house. What do you think?

It doesn't look possible for me to find a job soon. Even if I don't send the half of the money I can only live 3 months with that. Then I have to move to my mothers house (700km away)

She has gone to a friend who has a relation ship with another married man. From the VAR record I know that she is always trying to push my WW wife away from me. But there is nothing I can do about it.

I had hit her twice before. The first had happened more than 10 years ago and the second 6-7- years ago I guess� And yes she had complaints about my anger and our fights in the past. She consistently says that she couldn't forget them. We used to figth a lot. We have learned how not to fight 3-4 years ago, and we even didn't have any serious argument for 6 months (maybe much more). She sometimes get mad at me but that's ok. Thats all.