As you can see from subject it has only been 10 days since I found out the truth, I had suspected for a few months that something was going on,but denial kept coming, until I threw all his stuff out into the driveway, We have been together almost 7 years. he got his stuff and left went o her, but hours later was begging me to take him back, promising he would change, go to counselling etc,
started counselling 2 days after the day I found out, and will be returning to work on his issues, we have been talking everyday since, he answers all my questions, is remorseful, willing to do whatever needs to be done, all contact has been stopped, he checks in with me regularly as to what he is doing where he is going,
my question is this... on the 4th and 5th day after finding out about affair, we were intimate, now I think maybe that was a mistake, but I just needed to feel human, alive, that life had not stopped. we are at present living in separate rooms, now sometimes when he touches me or kisses me, she is right there in my head, thoughts such as did he kiss her like this, touch her like this, etc..

was it wrong to be intimate?
when is the right time to be intimate?
how can I stop the thoughts?
does his reactions sound like he is compensating for the suffering he caused?
thank you in advance for any suggestions and advice

Welcome hockeymom! Did you have a question about the program?

Are you married?

No no questions about the program, I am just starting to go through the information on this site, I did go to the start here section first, just found the site today, and will hopefully get a copy of the book ASAP. I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else had the same questions I did,
We are not married but have been together for 7 years, lived together for 6, late 40"s both previous marriages, me a 21 year abusive marriage, him 2 long term ones before we met again, we kind of grew up together so our families have known each other for years,