I will definitely expose him to everyone, he's not walking away from this unscathed. Even if I tell both OW about each other, I doubt they'll care given they're both cheaters themselves.

I'm sure there were lots of women in the past, I really don't care to know how many and who they were...it doesn't change anything now.

I actually think he might be a sex addict.

Your son really dodged a bullet here.

At least one good thing came out of this horrible circumstance.

I would call the fiance's parents AGAIN and tell them what happened. Also tell them about the other woman so they will tell their DD. You should also call the co-workers husband TODAY. In fact, I would call him before you call the fiance's parents and offer to show him the tape.


He probably has a porn addiction. Does he look at porn?

I don't think your WH's behavior is odd for a serial cheater. Serial cheaters are addicted to affairs and to having a SSL.

The only reason I point this out is because I have seen other posters like yourself come back and say they are staying with their WS and WS is seeking treatment for sex addiction.

That won't help your WH. He would have to give up his job, computer/cell use and you would basically have to watch him 24/7. That's what it takes to recover with a serial cheater like this.

Sorry you are going through this.

Did you have any other children? If so, what are their ages?

I would wrap up these exposures ASAP and get yourself into a dark Plan B.

Go to the bank and other accounts and move at least half to a new site. See an attorney. Save your video of the OWs to USB drive and put it in a safe deposit. Make copies of all financials.

Call in sick if you must but do these today.. Drop by the MD for STD tests. Then expose far an wide.

I actually did mean TO the OW's. No this is not the usual situation of exposing to family and friends, but it would help blow up fantasyland for everyone if both OW's found out that he not only had more than one OW but had sex one after another with them.

Maybe they won't care, but very likely they would. it would cause havoc in these two affairs I am guessing.

I agree they would care and I would make sure they each know they were just one of many.

OK, gottcha. Not only just to them on each other, but also to each of their networks of family/friends.

I don't have any other children. I'm going to the bank later today to open a new account and transfer half of our accounts. I will be getting a full STD test when I go to work tomorrow and talking to a coworker who recently divorced, hopefully she'll have a good recommendation on her lawyer.

I really don't want to talk to her parents again, I feel like they're acting very helpless and don't see the severity of the situation. I do plan on exposing the other OW to her husband and letting him know I have evidence. I don't want to give away to anyone that I have video proof.

My husband has been trying to call me all day and texting non-stop asking for another chance. I told him to respect my wishes and not to come back to the house until I say it's okay. My sister and cousin will be coming to stay the weekend with me, I don't want to be alone.

I'm still in shock that he had sex with two different women hours apart in our house and acted perfectly normal when I got home.

**EDIT**

Moderator's Note:
Please familiarize yourself with MarriageBuilders concepts before posting.

Did you do this?

Jen, you must let him know that you have video evidence of his sexual relations in your home. You don't have to tell him HOW exactly, but only that you are having him watched. He can speculate about whether you have a PI. The purpose of getting evidence is to USE it on your behalf, not to collect it for some voyueristic reasons. He should not be left clueless about what you know. let him know this TODAY.

Secondly, you need to contact her parents and let them know what you know so they will tell her. You want them to tell her that you have video evidence of him having sex in your home with 2 women so it gets back to your husband and so it scares her off. Everyone needs to know about this.

Have you done your exposures today? Have you changed he locks?

Agree x 1000

I know very much what you are going through, to think you have the full story and then get slammed with more ddays and just be reeling.

I allowed MelodyLane and other dear MB friends to help guide me through step by step. I was able to wrap up exposures (even though I did not want to R the M and knew it was heading for divorce) and get WH's stuff packed up and out of the house and myself into a Plan B within a very short period of time (about a week) because I allowed my friends to guide me when my head was such a mess.

I would put the divorce lawyer visit on hold for now, and even mute the texts from the WH. And stick with us, Ok?

Hang in there.

I don't think it's a good idea to tell him that I have evidence of his cheating. I agree with top rope that it's too early to give myself away and I might need the cameras to protect myself later on. The locks have been changed, but he still has his things here that he will need to come get.

He texted me saying he wants us to go to marriage counseling. He says he'll do anything to make our marriage work, that he doesn't want to lose me.

I've told his family that I caught him again with another woman and that he's still seeing our son's ex-fianc�e.

Have you called the OW's BH?

Have you called the ex-fianc�'s parents?

It is the only good idea. Toprope is not a regular poster and is wrong about this. The point of intel is to use it on your behalf. This evidence will motivate your husband to make necessary changes and help you put a stop to this. You don't show him the evidence or tell him how you got it, but he must know you have it. NOW. This is a critical time and you cannot afford to sit on evidence. That makes absolutely no sense at all.

I want to reiterate that the goal is to kill the affairs; the goal is not to SPY and collect intel. There is no reason to spy if you are not going to use that evidence. Unless you are a voyeur.


He won't be in the house, so what difference does it make?


Every wayward wants to go off to marriage counseling. Marriage counseling is destructive to marriages. The plan we are giving you comes from Dr Bill Harley, clinical psychologist and founder of Marriage Builders. This is not the personal opinion of posters.


So what about the coworkers husband? What about the employer?

This is not a platform for your personal opinions though. It is a platform for Dr Bill Harley's opinions. NEVER does he say to withhold evidence and avoid using it as leverage to kill the affair. It is not fair to this poster to substitute your personal opinion for standard Harley advice. You do this distraught woman no favors by telling her to sit on valuable evidence that is sorely needed at this time.