I am back, after 13 years. Ouch!

Just a general question for Custodial Mom's I guess. Or any one else who feels led to chime in with their opinion.

The WW filed for divorce in 2003 and was final in August of that year. After several "slight hints" at how far she was willing to go to obtain custody of the children I simply agreed to her terms, packed my clothes and moved on.

At the time of the divorce the children were 12(OD), 10(Son), and 7(YD). Today they are 25, 23, and 20. Child support was set at 1118.00 per month. From August of 2003 until June of 2014 I continued to pay that amount. From June of 2014 through November of 2015 I paid 818.00 after asking if I could reduce it to some unexpected expenses and she agreed.

The OD turned 19 in 2010 but I continued to pay 1118.00. The son turned 19 in 2012 and I continued to pay 1118.00. I did ask her for that 300.00 deduction in 2014. The YD turned 19 last November and I ceased to pay any more child support.

During the last 13 years I replaced the AC unit in "their" home, paid for the installation of a new roof on "their" home, and paid for septic work to be done for problems that arose from excessive run off in the back yard.

I also carried the children on my insurance during the last 13 years. I changed jobs in July of this year and the former wife picked up the children on her policy since my coverage stopped and new coverage is not available for me until November. I have offered to pay the difference in what it cost to add the children to her policy but she has not responded.

Currently the YD is in college for a nursing degree but I already had funds set aside to cover her tuition. The YD drives a vehicle provided by me and I pay the insurance. The WW's father provided a vehicle for the son and WW pays insurance on that. The OD is married, on her own, and has had no relationship with her Mom for five years.

Yesterday I received a text from the former wife after I told our daughter I would not have any insurance coverage until November.


What I want to say is "Well, you should have thought about that before divorcing". But after attempting to take the high road I just could not find it in myself to respond in that fashion. The second option is just to say nothing but I still feel bad about that.

I guess what I am really asking is affirmation that I am not a "dead beat dad" if I only pick up the difference in her current insurance cost?

Help!

1. Your children are adults. Dead beat can't apply to you in this situation.

2. Reply: I am unable to offer further financial assistance at this time.

3. A single cell phone does not cost $260. That's a minimum of three phones with data.

Your children are all adults. You do not owe any more assistance to your ex wife or children unless there was some legal agreement stating otherwise. If you want to help out your children financially, I would keep that between you and them and leave the ex out of it.

TH, I agree with the others that your DD is an adult and you owe nothing. That being said, why would any person need $260 for a cell phone and money for all these medical expenses? My husbands XW used to make up expenses for their children to get my H to foot the whole bill. If you do decide to respond, I would suggest the DD cancel the phone if she needs money.