Any other holes in your plan B?

You do not have "no contact."
You are in Plan C.

(it doesn't matter WHO breaks no contact, btw).

I think I have all the holes closed unless she finds a way that I don't know of.

Try and think of all ways she may break Plan B and try and be ready for it.

Also, are you protecting your love bank from others making deposits? You are still married and in a vulnerable state to others making LB deposits. Whether you recover your marriage or not you want to do the right thing.

Yes Brainhurts. Thanks for pointing that out. I'm good on that front. OM's wife is the only danger right now, and I am being very careful there.

What do you mean she is the only danger? Have things been said between you two that shouldn't have been? Are you still in contact with her and how often?

No nothing has been said and we are not in regular contact. But she could call at anytime and ask questions or updates on her husband.

I say it's a danger because she is really the only non relative female I talk to. So she is the only person that could make deposits. But I'm not giving her a chance.

What you are telling us here doesn't match up to what you are saying on another marriage site.

I think you need to be honest with us about what plan you are wanting to follow.

I get the impression that you are addicted to the drama surrounding your WW, DollarBob. So much so that you are willing to lie to us about your Plan B, and are willing to consider sleeping with the OM's wife. Drama.

What plan are you wanting to follow?

That's so wrong Dollarbob when so many of us have tried to help you. No one likes being lied to.

Just be honest. Don't waste people's time and effort if you aren't even here to follow Plan B.

I understand that it's easy to dismiss people's feelings when this is cyberspace, but keep in mind that we are REAL people who take time out of our busy lives to volunteer here, because we believe in MB very much, because it has helped us in our own lives. Many of us don't want to waste our time on someone who is just board hopping.

And also keep in mind that many of us are VERY sensitive to being LIED to and DECEIVED.

Seriously, be more considerate than this.

No I haven't lied on here at all. This is my home. I do vent and voice my thoughts and fantasies on 2 other boards that I just started on about a week or two ago.

I did have about a 12 hour period where I thought about hurting OM like he did me, after reading a thread by someome who did that. But I would never go thru with something like that. And I am ashamed for thinking about that. Every conversation I have had with OM's wife has been strictly about trading facts. Business only. Nothing emotional.

Dollarbob, this is such a waste of your emotional energy. You will feel so much better if you redirect your thoughts and move on.

I started feeling way better when I used techniques to stop thinking about my exH at all. Be kind to yourself and don't indulge in more pain like that.

Do yourself a favor; abandon those sites and redirect that energy to moving on.

If what you are posting about on other forums is about how to handle contact with your WW while you are now separated (aka Plan C) then no, this is not just "thoughts and fantasy".

That is board hopping and opinion shopping and won't work if you are serious about Plan B. Period.

We can read, you know. You never told this board that you see your wife when you exchange the kids, for example. You told us that Plan B holes had been blocked; this is patently untrue.

It seems that Plan B to you is making your wife call your mother's landline first, and if she is desperate to talk to you, you will take the call, or call her back. You enjoy listening to her moaning about how hard it is for you to look after the kids, and you enjoy hearing about how miserable she is now that you have moved out (although she is still seeing OM).

Enjoying seeing her unhappy is completely understandable, but it isn't Plan B. And telling different stories according to which forum you're on is a waste of all the time people here have spent trying to help you. And it's dishonest.

Ok. I understand why you would be upset about the other boards. I had some holes at the beginning of plan B for the first few days. And WW sneaked through once or twice since I thought I had all the holes closed.

The stuff posted on the other boards was old conversations from when we first separated after D-day before I found MB. And also some "role playing" based on what WW told my mom when she messed up and passed the info on to me and also from the couple times at the beginning of plan B when WW slipped thru the cracks and contacted me. I just wanted to hear some more stories and info from other people that have been there. I didn't want to mention MB to any of them because I remember from when I looked at those boards in the past they are strongly opposed to MB.

Besides the first few days of plan B with the unforseen gaps in my noncontact, I have been doing good. I got all the holes closed, reminded my mom not to share information with me about her contact and have been at zero contact.

I've been leaving the house right before she drops off and picks up the kids, to keep from having contact. I've done that the past couple times and it seems to work.