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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 3 |
It's a case of whirlwind pregnancy and marriage
We both committed to eachother and with a tiny bud of love and affection we began this marriage as a blended family. It's been 5 years now.
I love him. He loves me he says. Yet I get no affection ever. I'm a giver. Constantly giving. I don't recieve. My love bank is near empty. He is amazing provider. Father. And he will hug and kids the kids and play with them. But not me. Never me. He can go weeks without affectionate behavior. He thinks sex is all I need and only every few weeks. He says stress is high but when will it ever not be? We have young kids but im telling you, I am always down for a flirtatious conversation or even a damn look. Just a look. An appreciative look of sexuality desire or even love. A cheesy word or SOMETHING. but I get nothing. And when I bring it up it is backfired into my face. He is well aware that I need affection. But apparently it isn't important? What's going on here? He says he loves me but I'm about to throw in the towel. We are not a typical started marriage but we are a good family and by God I try to please him and feel he is just not attracted anymore.
Suggestions?
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
It's a case of whirlwind pregnancy and marriage
We both committed to eachother and with a tiny bud of love and affection we began this marriage as a blended family. It's been 5 years now.
I love him. He loves me he says. Yet I get no affection ever. I'm a giver. Constantly giving. I don't recieve. My love bank is near empty. He is amazing provider. Father. And he will hug and kids the kids and play with them. But not me. Never me. He can go weeks without affectionate behavior. He thinks sex is all I need and only every few weeks. He says stress is high but when will it ever not be? We have young kids but im telling you, I am always down for a flirtatious conversation or even a damn look. Just a look. An appreciative look of sexuality desire or even love. A cheesy word or SOMETHING. but I get nothing. And when I bring it up it is backfired into my face. He is well aware that I need affection. But apparently it isn't important? What's going on here? He says he loves me but I'm about to throw in the towel. We are not a typical started marriage but we are a good family and by God I try to please him and feel he is just not attracted anymore.
Suggestions? Welcome to MB. How did yours and your husband's previous marriages end?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 3 |
This is his first marriage. He was non committing to all previous women. Never more than a few months with any woman. I was not previously married but was in a serious relationship that made it nearly to alter after 8 years and a child. But we mutually split.
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 3 |
I just affection. He says I am asking him to change an integrated part of him. What am I supposed to respond to that with? He is open to counseling though
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 65
Moderator Member
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Moderator Member
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 65 |
Merged threads. Please stick to one thread.
MBMod IrishGreen
MBIrishGreen@gmail.com
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
Is he familiar with MB? Love busters? Emotional needs?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
I just affection. He says I am asking him to change an integrated part of him. What am I supposed to respond to that with? He is open to counseling though Dr. Harley has some great material that responds directly to that. He has free articles on this site about affection. He has the book His Needs Her Needs that directly addresses this issue. And he discusses it on his free radio show. Is your husband willing to check out Dr. Harley's information?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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