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Big mistake not to move mountains to not get there to
catch them. Even if you took a few hours nap to get there.
No family close by to help with the driving?
Why go so far away when time is critical?
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Can someone else catch them?
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Thanks for the replies goody2shoes and TheRoad. All of my family is two hours away from my home. I got more than enough evidence to satisfy me. I want to give a heartfelt big thank you to everyone who has posted so helpfully to me in this thread. Sadly I just don't think I have what it takes to continue this way but I will always be grateful for the help and support I received here.
Me-47
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Thanks for the replies goody2shoes and TheRoad. All of my family is two hours away from my home. I got more than enough evidence to satisfy me. I want to give a heartfelt big thank you to everyone who has posted so helpfully to me in this thread. Sadly I just don't think I have what it takes to continue this way but I will always be grateful for the help and support I received here. What is your final tally of evidence? What did the PI turn up?
BW
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His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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What is your plan from here Montgomery? Are you doing a thorough exposure now?
Please stick with this thread, we can help you through this no matter what path you take. Exposure should be the very first step though, followed by a long overdue Plan B. You will feel so much better once you are in Plan B.
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I'm listening to them having sex on the VAR right now. I will be picking up the report from the PI Monday. Thanks for the support SugarCane and Unwritten. I'm going to try my best but this is really hard.
Last edited by Montgomery; 01/22/17 10:38 AM.
Me-47
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Could you share your plan on exposure? Do you already have a list of people to expose to?
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I have my exposure list and letters written. Everything is ready to go. I'm sitting here listening to them having sex, telling each other they love each other and miss each other and talk about me.
Me-47
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I have my exposure list and letters written. Everything is ready to go. I'm sitting here listening to them having sex, telling each other they love each other and miss each other and talk about me. I'm so sorry, Montgomery. I know that must be excruciatingly painful. Where was this taking place - in your bed? This is from the VAR in your wardrobe? Where are you now, and where is he?
BW
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Montgomery-
You are doing great, even though this is such a terrible thing to have to deal with. Good job getting evidence. Big hugs to you. Hang in until you can expose and get to the peace of Plan B.
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SugarCane and DidntQuit, they were in our bed. I put the VAR in my coat pocket in the closet. I've listened to over an hour of them so far. They were also doing cocaine and my husband was having trouble performing because of it! The lies and deceit are unreal.
Last edited by Montgomery; 01/22/17 11:35 AM.
Me-47
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Listening to my WH and the OW both laughing about how they didn't care if I came home and caught them was probably the worst part.
Me-47
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I am so sorry, Montgomery. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks MelodyLane.
I feel like the door to my heart has been closed, deadbolted and barricaded shut. I literally started vomiting bile (because my stomach is empty) after listening to that tape and I never puke. I know this might not go over well here on a forum for saving marriages but I'm questioning if I really want to be with him after all of this. Hearing them talk to one another was truly disturbing and disgusting to say the least. I definitely deserve much more from a husband.
Me-47
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I know this might not go over well here on a forum for saving marriages but I'm questioning if I really want to be with him after all of this. That decision is yours and yours alone. No one on this forum will judge you for calling it quits and moving on.
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Thanks Prisca. Knowing someone is doing something is one thing but hearing it all brings it to a whole new level of understanding. I know I'm raw right now and I'm not ready to say that I'm 100% sure I'm done but I have much to think about today.
Me-47
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I know this might not go over well here on a forum for saving marriages but I'm questioning if I really want to be with him after all of this. Hearing them talk to one another was truly disturbing and disgusting to say the least. I definitely deserve much more from a husband. This is not a forum dedicated to making women put up with that! Dr Harley shows that marriages can be saved and can thrive after an affair. He never says that they must be saved after an affair, and none of us posters believe that, either. You need to get right out of that situation. We're here to support you in doing that.
BW
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Me-47
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Thanks MelodyLane.
I feel like the door to my heart has been closed, deadbolted and barricaded shut. I literally started vomiting bile (because my stomach is empty) after listening to that tape and I never puke. I know this might not go over well here on a forum for saving marriages but I'm questioning if I really want to be with him after all of this. Hearing them talk to one another was truly disturbing and disgusting to say the least. I definitely deserve much more from a husband. No one would EVER fault you for making the decision to move on. This is not a marriage-at-all-cost forum. That is 100% your decision. We would, however, recommend that you expose in the manner recommended regardless of your decision. We will support you whether you decide to divorce or stay.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks MelodyLane. I'm learning toward divorce because there is more to consider than just infidelity. There's the drugs and alcohol and the way he was talking and laughing about me feels nearly unforgivable right now.
Me-47
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Married for 16 years
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