I searched and didn't find anything on what I can do when my friend's spouse is having affairs.

My friend Don just found out tonight by finding videos and pictures on his husband's, Mark, iPad of him "with" other men. Don confronted him and Mark admitted he had been having an affair with a teammate and several one time flings since September. They got married April 2016.

Don told our other best friend (think the three musketeers) about the affairs and she called to give me a heads up before he tells me tomorrow.

Also, about 4 years ago Don moved in with my husband and me (I'm female) because Mark, then his living together boyfriend, had been with other men and "loved Don but want in love with him, felt stifled, etc" and it seems to be the same story this time. They eventually reconciled (obviously) and not enough precautions were taken in my opinion to prevent the cheating from happening again.

I know he's in crisis right now and I want to be supportive without going into "I knew it would happen again" or telling him what to do (which will be difficult for me BTW).

They might try to reconcile again or Don might leave him, it's obviously too fresh for him to make a decision right now. Our other friend and I told Don we did not agree with him taking Mark back last time or getting married when he asked us so he pretty much knows where we stand. I am blunt and outspoken but don't want to give him the impression I'm not surprised or I'm judging his decisions--which is true but he doesn't need that.

What do I do and say? "I can't even imagine how difficult this is for you. I love you. You are a wonderful person who does not deserve this. What can I do to help and support you?" Just stick to those ideas until he decides what to do and then support him since it's not my life or my decision?

Thank you for the input.

Gay marriages are notoriously non-exclusive, for a number of reasons. It may be best for your friend ro directly contact Dr Harley via the radio show, because he is most experienced in how to deal with this kind of situation.

As you may know already, it is very difficult to recover a marriage with a serial cheater, because your friend will have to be on the lookout constantly and chances are high it will happen again.

Dr Harley addressed same sex marriages here: here

Sorry if I wasn't clear but I want to know how I should respond, not about their relationship's chances of success. Since it's not my marriage there nothing I can really do, but I want my reaction to be supportive and helpful as much as being an outsider can.

Did you read Dr. Harley's post? That is how Marriage Builders would respond.

I did read it, and I guess I'm being dense because I'm not sure how that relates to my response to him. Am I supposed to tell him that I'm sorry he was cheated on but a same-sex marriage is very difficult to make work, especially after and affair? I don't think that should be my initial response, do y'all? I guess I'll just go with my intuition and say I'll support him however I can whatever his decision is. And he asked me for my opinion I'll give it gently.

Marriage Builders principles are not applicable in same-sex situations because they are based on empirical data collected from traditional marriages. So, while you can try to generalize, there is no actual scientific support for doing so.

That said, it is always good to offer condolences when needed for the misfortunes of others, and to avoid giving advice when it isn't asked for.

That's up to you entirely.