My advice would be for your wife: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!

There is absolutely nothing appealing here to any normal woman. You don't have a job, you troll for sluts on the internet, you are a married man who is "gauging his marketability" and then you feel entitled to chat on the internet with hoes. Good grief, what in the world could she possibly find appealing in such a man?

Of course she does not see you in a positive light, there is nothing positive here. There is nothing to save. She is better off getting away while she has no children. The pukability scale is very high with this one!

Your snarky comment to someone who is trying to help you says a lot...Based on your attitude here and what you've said in your posts, I'd be in the same place your wife is! If you talk to her like that, no wonder things are the way they are! AND, yes, the advice Apples gave you is, in fact, epic advice..."just" chatting via the internet is what leads MANY spouses to have affairs...I know my XH did just that.

Yes!!! cut your losses!! Cut her free!

Perfect! Marriagebuilders was designed by Dr Harley, who is an engineer at heart. As a business man, you know how to handle a project. It should be very easy for you to implement MB in your marriage and create a romantic relationship with your wife.

Would you like that?

I would strongly advise that you "cut her loose." Take your charming self to some other "deserving" woman.

I think you misunderstood. I pay 6 figures in taxes I have a VERY good job I own businesses and generally kick [censored]. I'm in great health, verifiably extremely intelligent, well educated, well groomed, charming, have access to many many high net-worth individuals and routinely told that I'm good looking. So yes... I'm literally VERY desireable. Go make yourself small somewhere in a corner... you're not very useful.

I would suggest that you are the one who is not very useful here. Since you are so "desirable" you should cut your wife free and take your desirability elsewhere, don't you think?

3 months ago I tried the 15 hours a week thing... I was dedicated to doing it but she wouldnt take the time from her career to even try. I think we managed 5 hours in the first week and then she traveled. I'd love for her to actually commit to this program. I see HUGE value in it.

There is no value if your marriage is not affair proofed and it is obvious you don't take that seriously at all. Your wife is WISE to boot you out unless and until you demonstrate that you won't troll for hoes anymore. No serious woman is going to tolerate that and it sounds like you don't get that.

Until that changes, she needs to stay separated.

She had ample chance to affair-proof the relationship BEFORE the D word came out. Again lets make this very clear. I've not touched any women while being married. I get this emotional affair concept but I didnt have one. I had a solid 2.5+ years of zero "chatting with hoes" ( I think that is what someone said) and what I constitute as abuse and neglect by her.

The above behavior will not sustain a marriage. She should not try to meet your needs or even live with you as long as you do such things. This is inappropriate behavior for a married man. So what are you doing to change this?

Her neglect created the space for me to start talking to other women about our relationship. This is on her... Should I have done it? no... but I believed my relationship was over..I had little left to lose. It didnt end... but its been mediocre at best. I've clearly not communicated the nuance of where her lack of trust is applied.

Nope, it's all on you. She could have met your needs 100% and you would have still carried on with women because you have grossly inappropriate boundaries with women.

As long as you feel entitled to have inappropriate relationships with women, she is not safe with you and we would agree with her decision to separate.

LOTS of spouses are neglected at various times in their marriages; they care about their marriage enough to not go outside of marriage. You didn't ever need to reach out to women and doing so should greatly concern your wife. Even more concerning is the fact that you feel some sort of entitlement about it.

If you think we are stupid enough to believe this, you are not as intelligent as you stated earlier.

Which part exactly do you think is unbelievable?

Agreed. When you have kids and life just gets the best of you things get in the way. I see it all the time. The difference is when you WANT to have more time together and cant because of life. Electing how you choose to spend that time and with whom is the difference. the choice has been ours. I used to initiate all intimacy but I backed away...the intimacy wasnt what I wanted.. I wanted to feel wanted. I still want that. Its what we all want. I do have the expectation to be wanted in my relationship. That will never change. Granted you likely wouldnt find me a catch considering these conversations but given the pool of men out there my age that are single and dont have kids... I should be quite desirable to my wife or any woman that I may date in the future should this not work out. I am entitled to feel loved in my marriage.

I have plenty of female friends.. she knows most of them and has never had an issue and I've never done anything with any of them. I'm not the type of guy that sits on the couch and watches sports. I dont even have cable or watch TV. So to completely reject all friends like some suggest here is pretty close minded and singularly focused. The notion of cutting off every female friend I've cultivated because someone said so is crazy. I see not talking to this one woman... sure. I hardly talk to her anyway.

My, aren't you just a peach.



Your wife is wise to have separated from you. If you would like help in making yourself truly desirable, we can help you with that.

Then your friends are more important than your wife, she should leave.

She is super wise. Best decision she's ever made I'm sure! XO