I know God will lead me to happiness after all of this is over. I should have dealt with this a long time ago. I've been completely loyal in all my years with her.

I guess I will set up a doctor appointment for STD testing.

I found a really good article for a pre-divorce checklist.

I hid important documents for now in my house. I will get them out of the house and take to my office at work.

The realtor is coming tomorrow. After she's done, I will move guns and ammo to truck and get them to a friend.

I've already got a separate bank account. I'm thinking about calling credit card company tomorrow to see if I can limit exposure.

I will probably have to pay all bills. I expect her to move her paycheck to he own account. I don't know if it is smart to shut off her phone. I'll look at what bills to eliminate and get it down to a minimum.

I don't have many heirlooms around the house.

Hello Deep,

I am by far no expert, and am going through raw trauma same as many others here, so if a veteran member has better advice, please listen to them instead.

(All of the below is based only on my personal experience)

I do however have intimate knowledge of just how vicious and out of control a WW can get. If it were me, I would bring the children to someone else's house before she leaves. In my case the children were with me for a full year, but once she stole them, when I was not there, I was first lied to about their return, then finally had to hire a lawyer and file an emergency petition to see them again. 5 months from the time she took them to the time I saw them again. They came back poisoned against me.
I of course have no idea if you might fear any of this, but I would call in sick, take half a day, tell them the truth. It doesn't matter.
Pick the kids up from school early, or call them in sick, and tell them it's a trip to grandma's or where ever.

I would also report the cards missing. In my case, she secretly stole 1000's during her affair, and 1000's more after.

Hide valuables... including jewelry. Especially yours. (you can guess why I say this)

Change the locks on the house doors.
(I came home one day to find most of the furniture gone. On another it was brand new computers)

Change the lock on your mailbox, or get a post office box.

It was too late for me on any of these things, because I could not comprehend or believe these things would happen. Be safe.

I would not let her take the kids. You should not go along with that. You are the only sane person in this scenario and need to protect them.

Refresh my memory, have you told the younger one she is having an affair? If not, I would tell him now so he can protect himself. Tell him that he is not to leave with her.

Here DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT

And carry a VAR on yourself whenever you're in contact with her to protect yourself from a false DV charge.

Do you have a lawyer yet? If not, I would definitely go get some counsel from one immediately. Even in a free consultation you should be able to get some legal advice on how to protect yourself.

It seems to me you think she is entitled to do this however she wants to, she is not. Pick the kids up from school early, be there so that she cannot just remove them without your involvement.

This is not just about divorce, it is about your fogged out wayward going to probably shack up with some guy you don't even know. Don't let your kids get sucked into that situation. Not only should they not be forced to leave their own home, but who knows what kind of guy this is or what he could do to your kids. It does not seem like she is very picky about her affair partner choices

Yes the family of her charge should be exposed to, considering she has had sex with one of her troubled students in the past. She is not safe to be a paraprofessional working with kids.

I told younger son that she had affairs. At the time I didn't have proof of the current affair. Older son knows what is going on fully. I've told him everything but I asked him to keep it on the down-low until we find out who.

So talk to my son?? I think I have one more night to get things in order.

She's definitely talking to them about leaving. I think she has younger son convinced. What do I say?

I want to expose but I do not have a name. I did get VAR in her Car with a hidden phone to give GPS. VAR in bedroom just gives sickening stuff. I feel like she is in control.

i would call your lawyer right now and prevent her from taking your kids. In the meantime, speak to your sons and tell them your wife is having an affair and is planning on leaving you for the OM. Let them know that you are taking steps to prevent that, they do not have to go with her.

You may need to file asap so she cant take the kids. See an attorney today. Do not wait. Also inform the school.

Don't expose [other than what I told you about your sons] until you have a name.

What did you hear on the VAR?

Other people can weigh in on this, but in your case, I would consider exposing now even though you don't have a name.

That is not something I would usually recommend, but given the fact that she is a serial cheater who has had numerous affairs for years (many more than you will ever know about I imagine), and has already exposed your kids to years of adultery, and is about to leave and attempt to take them with her and expose them to her new OM, I think blowing this up NOW and filing for divorce to protect yourself and your kids is the best option.

If you have hard evidence that she is in an affair (which you do) that she cannot deny, that is 'evidence that would convince a jury.' Of course it would be best to know her most recent conquest, but at this point, the safety of your children and protecting yourself is more important IMO.

You will possibly hear who it is after doing a thorough exposure, as ML has suggested it is likely that many people in town know about her escapades.

Have you read the Exposure 101 thread? Do you have the template letter ready to go? Do you have an exposure list ready to go? Post your exposure letter here first so we can help you with the wording. I am guessing it will be slightly different from the template since you are not looking to recover your marriage.

NOTE: MelodyLane and I cross posted. ML is an expert at exposure and will not steer your wrong!

You may be able to file an emergency order to prevent her from removing the children from the home. The laws in each state vary. Have you called at least 3 attorneys yet? If you dont know who to call, look for a local magazine for a Best of List. ( Example: Dallas has D Magazine. Most medium size towns have these local mags too. If rural, there is usual a regional magazine.)

I'm going to have to find a different lawyer. The lawyer I want is out until Thursday.

Talked to a lawyer. With the age of my kids, the lawyer said they can stay with whatever parent they want.

To her mother - they talk primarily about me and that I am manipulating things. They talked about conversations with her lawyer and that if she moves out, I would end up paying for all the bills for our current residence and she would not have to contribute. WW running the numbers on child support and different options.

To her Lover - They have talked about getting married and where. How they long to be together. Seems like they continue to need affirmation from both sides that they won't back out on getting together once she leaves. Also, all kinds of lovie dovie talk. How they make each other feel. "Feel's Right". Seems like he drinks every night (as does she). They are talking a lot about the kids and what they will do when she leaves. She's worried they won't go with her. She seems to think younger one will now after she talked to him. I plan to get on that right away. We will be at an Honor's society induction tonight for him, so I'm thinking I have one more night before she's gone. Also, she talks about me and how much a jerk I am (normal fog babble)


I have called the Credit Card companies and lowered are limits. They must have texted her because she knew and call me all disgusted. I wanted that undetected. I used the excuse that she will not reconcile so I am getting worried. Probably messed up that one.

I got one hint that OM might have a significant other.

WW says "Has she finally quit texting you". WW says "you need to be happy".

Lawyer did recommend to try and negotiate a divorce settlement while WW is not thinking straight.

You only messed up by not lowering the amounts to ZERO or cancelling them. You don't need any excuses. NONE. you are not the one doing something wrogn.

Good job on your plan to speak to the younger boy. I would speak to them both and them all about her plan to run off with this RAT.

yep!! That is exactly right.