Friends,
I am living in US & married last year in India, however my marriage took place in very unconventional way. I was in relationship with a Girl, whom I wanted to marry, however just before marriage, my parents threatened me to commit suicide and break all relations with me & I ended up marrying different Girl of their choice. My family abused & tourchered me throughout my marriage, Because of my past relationship, they described me as ' loose character' in front of many people including my wife.
Its been more than year and half but the relationship between me & my wife has been heated and stressful. Ever since she came to know about my past from my family, she keeps questioning on my character more often, arguments and rough speech. We get into regular disputes and I end up complaining to my in laws about her with little to no help from them.
My Parents have walked out of my life as soon as I got married and they don't even bother to know if I am alive or not. Every time I try to get closer to my parents, they take advantage of my emotions & attachment towards them.
I am waiting for my wife's visa to get approved, however looking at present situation, I am really worried and tensed about my future, especially knowing neither family would support me in future.
I am well settled in US & was more than capable to take my own decisions, still I wanted to take blessings of my parents for marriage and hence did not want to hurt their feelings, But the way my parents & family has treated me, today every moment I feel regret that I could not take stand for myself, let my life driven by others & I myself responsible for my situation today.
The Girl I wanted to marry, also married last year to someone else, today my wife and my parents still hate her, they have fear that she will come back to my life.
I do not even keep contacts with friends as they tend to ask more about my personal life & I feel ashamed of myself, I deleted my social media profiles too, The life has been so lonely in last 2 years.
I do not want to leave or cheat my wife, but I am not happy either. I have been very changed person than I was before marriage - more due to the way my marriage took place & indifferent behavior of my family towards me, but she has her own expectations & if I don't meet them, I end up getting more burnt. My personal life now has showing impact on my career and profession too.
I am directionless where to go - If possible, please share your views.
Thanks
