Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1
P
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
P
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1
I went to a company conference in a different city for 5 days. The first day, at lunch time, I followed a coworker from the same company but from a different city to the lunch restaurant since I didnt know the location of it. We sat one next to the other with other coworkers from other cities, but she started inmediatly to talk to me. After some regular work chat for some minutes, the first �personal�question she asked me was, ahh I see you are married, looking at my ring (I noticed she was wearing a ring too) and started asking questions about my wife. I answered the questions and we talked a little bit more about work. At the end of the day, I email her asking if she was going to have dinner. She said no, she had to do some work, but the next day for sure she was going to go out.

The next day she had lunch with some other assitants to the conference and at the end of the day I said to her that some other coworkers were going out but she said she was going to the city to meet an old friend. I went out with other people.

The third day we had a group dinner paid by the company. We walked to the restaurant for some blocks. Before starting the walk she approached me and started talking to me. She had this big eyes look to me and laughing about everything I said. We arrived to the restaurant almost separated from the main group. We sat together in the same table with some other workers. She was laughing and made some silly thing to tease me. She always looking at me. At the end of the food, she said do you want to go, I said yes, and us two and two other left. Going down the stair, she almost fell (we were a little drunk) and I grab her from the hips, she smiled at me.. The first two people walked in front of us and we stayed in the back talking all the way back to the hotel. At some point she said, whatever happens in this training stays in this training. Almost close to the elevators to our rooms, she said I am so smart. That night I learned she is my same age. We said goodnight in the elevator. At that point I was thinking, what is happening here! I think I like her, what should I do? I was confused..

The fourth day, I met her, with other coworkers at lunch and we talked some work related stuff and walked back to class. At the end of the conference that day, I asked her and a person next to her if they wanted to go out. She said yes. When we all met (like 8 people) she just came next to me and started talking. We separated from the group and followed them to a bar. We ate and had drinks. During dinner she mentioned my wife again and wanted to see a picture of her. I showed the picture. I touched her knee a couple of times. We decided to go to a different bar, again we walked alone following the group and I complemented her a couple of times. At the second bar, she started buying drinks for both and another girl from the group. We started getting drunk and at some point I grab her from the hips and stayed there. She didn�t care. Some time later she paid and just in front of me she put the receipt in her bra and looked at me. We left and walked to the hotel. Each of us went to our rooms. I fell asleep. I woke up 3 hours later and saw a message: I found the ticket in my bra. This is all your fault. I wrote her back that I wanted to see her one more time before she left. I called her but no answer.

She messaged me the next day on her way to the airport. Just to say goodbye and mentioning that she was drunk and the ticket in her bra.

Overall this is the first time this happens to me after marriage (less then 2 years). I didn�t know what she wanted. Maybe she wanted me to go to her room the last night? What do you think? Was she into me? Was I attractive to her? This is the first time I dealt with this

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
Read this to your wife and ask her what she thinks. I think you already know.

Then, come up with a plan so this sort of thing never happens again. Start by not going out of town overnight without your wife. Next, don't consume alcohol in the company of women who are not your wife. And develop additional extraordinary precautions that would prevent this type of situation.


BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
When you meet a woman you like, you tell your wife immediately about your attraction then avoid the other woman like the plague. You knew exactly how far over the line you were when you put your hands on OW. Your wife needs to know she cant trust on business trips. She needs to either travel with you or you need to stop going. No nights apart aare a basic premise of marriage builders.

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 38
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 38
It shouldn't matter if your co-worker was into you or not. You are married.
Read your story, but put your wife in it as you or your coworker, would you like to see your wife drinking too much while letting some guy put his hands on her and saying what happens at conference stays at conference? you sought out this woman. You need to set up extraordinary boundaries to protect your wife and yourself from these situations.Were there no other men to spend your time with? No overnights without wife. No drinking too much and talk to your wife.
Read some threads here and see the devastation that affairs cause because it is not true that what happens at conference stays there. It destroys marriages and families.

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
Read this Traveling Jobs


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
Have you told your wife yet?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
I read this exact same story on another forum months ago.


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,071 guests, and 57 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5