No. Unfortunately not. We used to socialize and go to dinner and drinks, parties with mutual friends. And that is how it started. When we cut that off and literally ignored each other I thought for sure someone would say something. Like hey. What happened? Something. I was always waiting for that from her or mutual frinds, butbit never happened. A few months after I thought we dropped them
some of my friends, local ones whose kids attend them same schools and know him came to me. One actually asked me straightout. What happend with _____ (my wife) and so and so? I denied it. Said kids didn't hang out anymore. We went our seperate ways. Which has happened with other parents of our kids. At one point the other friend (same group of friends of the other friend) went to her one night Me and the wife were out for drinks and my friend gave her the whole "Me" loves you. You should not do anything to hurt him. She knew what they were talking about. Obviously. So they noticed. But the group of friends that we used to socialize with. Not a word. To me anyway. And my wife continued to attend functions with his wife. I always thought that took nerve. We dropped them. Ahe had to know something was up. Assumed it was blamed on me. Something like the other guys flirting pissed me off. It was innocent though. Whi knows. I guess maybe we will find out eventually.

Just know that the OM's wife will likely be furious when she finds out you did that to her. I would be prepared to explain why you wouldn't tell her because that is truly callous.

That is easy. Wanted to protect my kids. Easy enough for me. I made the decision (right or wrong) to handle it that way. Shame on her as well. Open your eyes!! Goes both ways

She saw they were chummy. Can't be a total shock. Like i said. We socialized. Regularly. For her to not be curious is on her

We just stopped. Not gradual. I also went out with him and other guys to football games, dinner (just guys), drinks. And then nothing. So for her to think it was nothing is on her as well. Right after I confronted him. I saw her several times in social settings. She had her opportunity to come to me

Has anyone had experience with PI's. Waiting on a call back now. Besides the following and photos. Will they drop the evidence as well. May be more effective for the initial news to come from them. Seems more professional and concrete. If i was approached by a PI rather then the other spouse. I would handle it differently. Just curious. Willing to discuss after the initial information is dropped.

But, you didn't protect your kids, you harmed them by keeping the secret. Affairs thrive on secrecy. So you endangered her kids as well as yours by keeping their dirty secret. Shame on you for not telling her!

You should expose yourself using the evidence. If a PI approached me instead of the other spouse, I would think "WHAT A PANSY!" This is on you. You didn't step up in the past, its time to man up here.

You should know that keeping an affair a secret only serves to ENABLE IT. [as you have learned] Therefore, we view the ones who keep it secret as enablers. Like Dr Harley says, its very hard to save a marriage when you are an enabler.

Wow. Melodylane. Blunt!!! This site full of tough love advice.

yep!

Most of it from women. We would never stand by and let our families be destroyed the way you are doing.

Im not standing by. It was brought to me 4 days ago. And trying to analyze it all

Blind rage is never a good thing

Has blind rage been recommended to you here?

You feel a blind rage?

No. That is why I am here. To see what my options are. On this forum there is only one option. And i am partial to it.

First off I am not having second thoughts. I just took a pleasant call from her planning a nice family trip this weekend. I don't get it. So difficult to understand.

She has to come next week for kids doctors appointments. Hopefully i can have something in place by then. Or I am on my own to investigate further.