Hi, it has been a long time since I leaned heavily on this board back in 2012... when my Husband of 31 years cheated on me for about 3 years.. with various stripper/hookers.. one that he got very close to.. took to Florida..helped with bail etc..(she was a drug user). My Son 28, (who has always known everything.. at the time he lived with us, and would have been hard to hide at the time he was only 23,I hated he knew this all. ), called today to tell me the hooker MY husband was close to tried to befriend him for the 2nd time today. .. first time was in 2012 , when this all came to light. My son was upset by it.. first time, and even more this time. I asked my Husband why he thought that would happen again.. he claims he has no idea.. Do you all buy this?

Have you been spying on him to find out what is going on?

Why don't you quietly call the OWH and ask whats up?

I wouldn't want to call her up. I could facebook message her though , since she tried to befriend my Son.. I really wouldn't want to do that as well. Do you think this is something to worry about?

You said her HUSBAND tried to reach your son. I recommended you contact her HUSBAND. You don't need to contact her, but her husband.

Her husband may have information that you need. Is your husband still pursuing her? Do you spy so that you know?

What was your old posting name? Did we tell you at that time it was necessary to expose to your son? It is a good thing he knows, not a bad thing.

I am sorry I meant the one hooker my husband was close to!

Meant hooker my husband was close to.. My husband is NOT pursuing her.. so he says. My Son says there are long periods of time , he -his dad is gone during work.. I did use to spy on him.. ie icloud and was able to follow his where abouts.

So how would you know he is not pursuing her?

Did you follow these extraordinary precautions to prevent another affair?

From Surviving an Affair, pg 66-67

The extraordinary precautions do more than end marriage-threatening affairs; they help a couple form the kind of relationship they always wanted.

These recommendations may seem rigid, unnecessarily confining, and even paranoid to those who have not been the victim of infidelity. But people like Sue and Jon, who have suffered unimaginable pain as a result of an affair that spun out of control, can easily see their value. For the inconvenience of following my advice, Sue would have spared herself and Jon the very worst experience of their lives.


Checklist for How Affairs Should End

_____The unfaithful spouse should reveal information about the affair to the betrayed spouse.

_____The unfaithful spouse should make a commitment to the betrayed spouse to never see or talk to the lover OP again.

_____The unfaithful spouse should write a letter to the lover OP ending the relationship and send it with the approval of the betrayed spouse.

_____The unfaithful spouse should take extraordinary precautions to guarantee total separation from the lover OP:

_____Block potential communication with the lover OP (change e-mail address and home and cell phone numbers, and close all social networking accounts; have voice messages and mail monitored by the betrayed spouse).

_____Account for time (betrayed spouse and wayward spouse give each other a twenty-four-hour daily schedule with locations and telephone numbers).

_____Account for money (betrayed spouse and wayward spouse give each other a complete account of all money spent).

_____Spend leisure time together.

_____Change jobs and relocate if necessary.

_____Avoid overnight separation.

_____Allow technical accountability.

_____ Expose affair to family members, clergy, and/or friends.

Melody..thank you for your responses. No, I did not follow every rule, but did most. We were also seeing a therapist. . If I exposed too much , I would have ruined our business, just not willing to do that..

How would exposure have ruined your business?

And what was your previous posting name?