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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1 |
My boyfriend of 3 years who I now live with says he's not sure he's ready for marriage unless I can get some really good advice to change his mind. He's 52 and I'm 38. Neither of us have ever been married. I love him so why won't he agree to this marriage?
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
ravencat, the short answer is that he doesn't want to get married and probably won't unless something changes. I would say he's failed the job interview for the position of being your husband and it's time to look for a new candidate who performs better.
Have you read Dr. Harley's book Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 567
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 567 |
ravencat, read the book that markos mentioned. I also recommend reading the following letters to Dr. Harley: Choosing the Right One to Marry Letter #1 Letter #2 Letter #3
Married 1994, divorced 2017
Remarried 2025
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,197 |
If a 52 year old man is not ready for marriage, there is a good chance he is NEVER going to be ready for marriage.
Basically, you live together and fill his needs, without the commitment. So what is his incentive to committing?
How did you two meet?
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
I love him so why won't he agree to this marriage? Because he's getting the milk for free! You would do good to take care of yourself here -- move out and start dating other men. Dr. Harley would recommend you date 30. Don't move in with any of them until you have the commitment of marriage.
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