I was looking through the posts before I went to bed. My H is working tonight so I spent the evening watching "estrogen flicks".<P>There seems to be a lot of people down right now. I have noticed it kind of cycles.<P>I just wanted to bring in some good news and invite others to join in. <P>Let's share our good news about anything.<P>Here's mine. My very best friend is coming to visit this weekend. I only see her four or five times a year. Her H and my H are really good friends and I consider her H to be like a brother to me. I can't wait to see them and then she and I are headed to a huge brand new outlet mall. FUN FUN FUN FUN.<P>I have been having trouble finding a councelor that will work because of my H's weird work schedule and have been concerned about the price, especially if we have to request special hours. We have been working on our marriage for 18 months on our own. I asked my H if he thought we could manage without one. He told me he really wanted to pursue it because he doesn't want to make any more mistakes. That made me feel real good.<P>My back and neck are still improving. I have been going to a Chiropractor for about a month trying to "get my head on straight" when all I had to do was "get my head on straight". (Okay, that was a terribly poor attempt at humor.<P>My h has the opportunity for a promotion beginning in April that will also mean some straight days and no weekends.<P>We have gone two paychecks without going further into debt.<P>Share you good news and let's let ourselves smile for a while.<BR>

That mall wouldn't happen to be the new kattymills mall in houston would it. If it is I heard it is really huge. if your H is a hunter he will love the BASS PRO SHOP there<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<BR>

Okay. I have a lot of good news. My H and I are doing better than ever! We are going to start trying to have a family in February. We also are going to try to be in a house by June. My job is going great and he will soon be in the career he has always wanted. God has been good!

Hey Essyboo,<P>Nothing good on the marriage front. But, I mave most recently found MY life again. I was in the attic and found it in a box behind some old magazines. It was a little dusty, but, I did find it again.<P>Also found my self respect in the box too. Val must have put that stuff up there a few years ago. I wiped them off and they are good as new!<P>I got a new lease on life with payments that I can easily afford.<P>I also agree with you regarding the "down" feelings on the board. I think it is because of the time change and SAD, seasonal affect disorder. Not much day light anymore.<P>Not sure if this is what you were looking for in the way of good news. I consider finding that box to be good news for me. I'm not just getting by anymore. I'm enjoying myself again. Something that hasn't happened in a long time.<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

Dear Brownphd,<P>I guess it is breaking the rules of annonymity, but yes, I am referring to the Katy Mill outlet.<P>I looked at your profile and see that we are kind of neighbors in a Texas sort of way. I live in Rosenberg. We moved there during our recovery to get out of the small town where th OW lived and all the memories were. Also, since I grew up in San Antonio, the small town atmosphere was driving me crazy. I needed colleges and stores and even traffic.<P>Katy isn't very far and it isn't a really bad drive.<P>More good news. My boys actually got up and got ready without fighting or whining. They seem to be thriving on the better relationship between H and me.<P>My 5 year old daughter is going to San Antonio to spend a couple of weeks with my parents. We will brig her home when we go there for Thanksgiving. She loves to go to Grandma's house because Grandma buys her gummy worms and lets her have icecream everynight before bed.<P>She due for a little spoiling. Grandma spoiling isn't permanent and can really make for some wonderful memories.

Hi! Essyboo,<P>Great idea. <P>Last night I made a full chicken dinner for a family 'sit down' because Tuesday is one of the few days we don't have to take one of the kids someplace or go to church. <BR>Husband's new arrival time (new job) comes and goes. Little twinge of annoyance. <P>Half hour more passes, no call, no husband. Twinge of concern. <P>Half hour more comes and goes, chicken is now cold, everything will have to be reheated. Kids ask "where is Dad, I'm hungry...can't we please eat without him?" <P>I page him and let kids eat. Half hour more goes by, he calls. "Sorry, I thought of calling you several times today to tell you we had a special speaker in for XX meeting (professional assoc.), but I got busy and forgot" <P>"O.K., bring home milk. I had made a nice dinner, I guess you can reheat yours when you get here."<P>I had some tense moments thinking he might be 'covering' like he used to, but they went away pretty quickly this time. <P>Then, he finally gets home, and HE BROUGHT FLOWERS as well as the milk. <BR>I was on the couch reading to our youngest, and h. leaned over and kissed me and said (in front of the kids) "Honey, I am so sorry I didn't call you" and hands me the bouquet....Now, granted, this will not hold water if it becomes a habit to be late and then buy flowers, but he actually realized that he caused me pain!<P>At bedtime, he said, "Did you *69 after I called to be sure I was where I said I was?"<P>This is the best part--I didn't even think of it! Trust (wispy, almost there trust) is coming back a little bit at a time. <P>Other great news this week-He went to our counselor alone the other day and although I didn't ask or pry, he did offer the tidbit that "I sure felt like a wrung out dishrag after my session with her". I said "So do you think it was a beneficial time or are you saying you wish you hadn't gone?" "Oh, it was good, just very draining."<P>Now, of course, I would give my right arm to have heard all that they said...but the great thing is, now he has someone to hear his pain and help him figure out why the affair happened and what is going on inside him now...Things that I cannot be part of because it hurts too much...I really feel that God is working in his heart AND giving me patience and insight into my role in all this mess...<P>Have a great day...<BR>LizPearl<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

I don't really feel qualified to post here, since my problem was nowhere near what the rest of you have gone through...and many are still going through, but since Essyboo asked for good news, here goes.<P>My situation is 1 million percent better. H is home most nights, and when he's not home, I REALLY TO BELIEVE he's at work. He's been invited to try out to play bass in a garage band, which would mean OTHER GUYS to hang out with; and less need for WOMEN FRIENDS!<P>It's hard work, maintaining this relationship, and I get very lonely. He leaves very early in the AM, and goes to bed early at night. I try hard not to hook into his moods; and it's not always easy.<P>I'm sure he still talks to Dragon Lady on occasion, for work, since they are still doing business with her company, but I'm much more relaxed about things.<P>So am I a success story?

We went out last night for my birthday. He gave me a beautiful bracelet, nice card and a lovely romantic meal. Talked a lot as well. He is a good man at heart. He is lonely and I don't know how to help him. <P>I look at his move to Wilmington as a chance for him to find himself without any pressure and to advance in this career. I'll give it a chance.

I have great news. My W had an affair for the past month. I found out last Mon. After a very brief seperation we are back together and working on Plan A full force. She is through the withdrawl now, and our relationship is better than it has ever been. With both keep saying "It feels like it did when we were first dating". So even though we are both dealing with a lot of pain, we are very happy together again. Hope this helps everyone, just to say that sometimes things can work out for the best.

When my H returned the children last night from his visitation, he brought me a cranberry scented candle in a ceramic bowl & saucer from the Bath & Body Works. How Sweet!<P>My family--sister, H & kids and my mom & dad--are coming to stay this weekend. I've been homesick and this will help. Her daughers and mine are the same ages, so everybody wins.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P>

I had a great talk with my husband last night about my "non-feelings" for him. It was great to be able to be so honest with him...he really is trying to help me! He's like my own personal counselor and he's really helping come back down to reality.<P>It's 82 degrees and beautiful here!<P>I'm going on vacation on Saturday with my husband, sister and her boyfriend. Can't wait to go scuba diving!<P>

Holly our yall trying to repair your marriage. Or are you working on just being good friends and that is it.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<BR>

Just wanted to add a little hope to the forum. Most of you probably don't know me because I haven't been around in a while. I read a lot but don't post too often anymore. My H had an affair (mostly emotional) last year (oct-nov 98). I found out and he ended it. We immediately started marriage counselling (the next day) and we have worked through this mess. We had counselling for about 12 sessions and we decided we could do the rest on our own. Believe me it was not easy! But a year later we are happier and in a much better marriage than we ever had. We celebrated our 5th anniversary in June and we are currently trying to have another child (my son is 2 1/2). My husbands affair was the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with but we did it together. As much as I don't like the way my husband went about dealing with our marital problems (by having the affair) - I also feel that by forcing us to address issues that I didn't realize existed - it actually saved our marriage. I will never forget what happened but i have forgiven him and I let him know that. He had a harder time forgiving himself.<P>My point is - if you both want it and try hard enough it can work!!<P>Good luck to all! <BR><P>------------------<BR>To err is human<BR>To forgive is divine

brownphd--<P>Uh oh...you got me thinking again. <P>I don't know...I thought I was working on repairing my marriage...but, I guess it's more of becoming good friends.<P>I told my husband last night that I want to feel chemistry with him...I want to desire him...but, that just seems impossible. I told him that when we were kissing the other night that I felt nothing at all and I wanted it to feel more meaningful when we made love...yet, I feel nothing.<P>I want all this...but, is it realistic? Won't I have to work on becoming good friends to get these emotions for him? Am I taking a step in the right direction or am I just kidding myself? Am afraid I'll never have these physical feelings for him that I want so badly...sometimes I feel like I'm settling, but at the same time I wonder if I'm expecting too much. Should I end my marriage because I don't want to jump my husbands bones?

Holly I don't know. My W also thinks she would'nt have these feelings. We arent intament, and have been apart fot 10 months. I think that is why she wont have these feelings you talk about. I would have them I think I do have them when we Just hug wich is very selcom,caus she will not let me hug her. I haven't a clue why, maybe cause what she has done.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

More good news. I just noticed I have been promoted from Junior Member to member. Now if I can just keep from changing my name again. <P>I guess the number of posts I've made is a good indication that I am fairly opinionated.