My husband came home from work today and was looking very upset I asked him what was wrong but he didn't answer. A few minutes later he said"well you got what you wanted"(meaning the relationship was over). If you want more info refer to 2 soulmates-she let me go today-(he is my husband). My feelings on this are so mixed right now. Am I relieved that it has ended?-yes but somehow I was hoping he would do it. I hoped that our marriage,our kids, and I would be important enough to him to end it himself. Maybe thats just me being selfish I don't know. I also hate to see him so sad and in pain. Even though he caused me pain and it was his actions and choices that brought him to this point I still don't like to see him suffer-I love him. I am not relly sure what to do from here. I guess I need to review the part about withdrawl and how to rebuild a marriage. It's probably a good place to start. I just don't want to get my hopes up to high but I don't want to mess this up by holding back either. Any input would be greatly appreciated. <P>------------------<BR>NICOLE<BR>

NO!! It's best that she did it. He's gonna go through withdrawls, but if the OW hangs tough with her decision, no matter what he does while out of his mind, she won't take him back. That's a good thing. Honest!<P>Be there for him as he grieves, and love him back into the marriage. <P>By the way, welcome... I don't think I've met you before.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Thank-you for your reply. I know in my heart that it is good I am just afraid that I will get hurt again somehow if I invest too much. It's just something I have to let go of I know.<P>------------------<BR>NICOLE<BR>

It takes time... and I hate to say this, but often lots of it.<P>I read your H's post too. He seems like a good man. Caring, hurt, but loves you. I think you two can make it. <P>Take heart... you are both here, you are both posting, you are both trying to find the love that was lost. This is a good thing. A painful thing, yes, but a good thing!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

I'm glad you're here, too. I read your H's post.<P>Hang in there. This marriage is worth fighting for. It's gonna be a long hard road, especially while he's in withdrawal, but you can do it!! <P>Come to us whenever you need to. We're always here, for both of you as you try to rebuild.<P>Lori

I'm very happy for your tidbit of hope. My H ended his affair only because I left to go "HOME" and file for separation. At least your H is over by their doing. I have great pain and worry that I'm going to die a very slow death, even tho I see some positive things from H. The problem is he works with HER and cannot leave the job because of bonuses and things we received when he took the job, he's stuck there for 2 years.<P>Someone posted to your H regarding the pain he has caused you. It is just amazing to me that they can so flippantly hurt us and rip our insides out every day and not seem to understand the enormous amount of what they've done.<P>God bless, and I pray He stays with you and puts you back together where you belong.<P><BR>--Kathy

Untallnikba-I feel for both of you and I can understand where you are coming from. Some people view the affair as an addiction that they couldn't possibly end on their own, I chose to view it that way in my H and gave him the ultimate love bust of telling him that he better break it off or I was going to make life miserable for him. That was before I knew about this site. Though I now view my actions as possibly harmful, I wouldn't change a thing about the ultimate success we've both had. <BR>As far as the hurt, I understand where you are coming from. I also can understand Hurt Bad's statement of hurt. But I think that in order for you to work on the marriage you have to take this big "LEAP OF FAITH". It is the faith that whatever happens will be God's will and that you can only do what you should do. To work on your marriage after all the hurt and pain becomes something of a battle to get past the hurt and anger (believe me, there is anger, I still deal with it a little!). But you have to believe that there's a reason that things happen the way they do, and that when God gives you lemons, you make that lemonade and drink from it....You learn something from it.<BR>Through Dr. Harley's books and this board and counselling and "After the Affair" my H and I are doing about 150% better than we have EVER done. It's not easy, it's very hard and very painful, but it can be done! <BR>If you need to talk please count on this board, it's been a real God-send to me! <BR>Bless You!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P>

Where there is love to begin with, it will grow. He says he loves you. Love him back. Read Surviving an Affair. You have a good deal of hope.

Thank-you so much for all your words of encouragement. I do know and have known what it is I need to do and I am going to do it. It will take alot more strength than I've got so any prayers would be appreciated as well(I've got some prayer requests on the prayer request board as well). I love my husband and I know that working together we can make our marriage really great. I guess it's time to quit testing the water with my little toe and just jump right in.<P>------------------<BR>NICOLE<P>