Today is our first wedding anniversary.<P>A little over a week ago I posted here saying that I did not want to acknowledge this day. That it was just too painful. Last year he married me knowing that he had a date set up for the very next weekend to send it in a hotel with one of his cyber babes. I just wanted the day to go away.<P>With the help of all of you here and my counselor I've come a long way since that posting. I realized that our marriage has taken enough of a beating without me beating on it some more. If my husband says that our wedding was important to him I’d better encourage that sentiment. And if it's important for me to be working this hard on it, then I dammed well better celebrate it. Celebrate where we are going, not where we have been. I realized that I’d better give him the opportunity to show our marriage and me the deserved respect.<P>The way my counselor put it is that I am the Queen in this relationship and I should step up regally and take my lawful place. That I should tell him what I want for our anniversary and it is his place to give it to me. So I told him that I want him to take me to Santa Fe for the weekend and spoil me rotten. The Queen spoke and it is to be done (LOL)<P>He is out of town this week. We spent the night talking on the phone. And sent each other email and e-cards. We will be childless the weekend after next. So that is the weekend we will go to Santa Fe.<P>D-day was March 22. Reflecting back over the last two and a half months I can hardly believe we are still together. And even harder to believe is that we seem to have worked through so much of the pain. Our relationship is growing by leaps and bounds. We have Dr. Harley, MB’s and all you good folks to thank for this.<P>So thank you, all of you for the help you have given us. I know we are a long way from full recovery but it gets better every day.<P><BR>Z<P>

Dear Z,<P>Happy Anniversary to you both. <P>Wishing you many more happy days and years ahead. <P>You and yours have been an encouragement to us. <P>Take Care and have fun in Santa Fe!<BR>L.

Hi Zorweb,<P>Happy Anniversary! It sounds like it's just going to keep getting better.<P>Enjoy yourself!

Glad to hear that things seem to be going forward, which is the right direction <P>hugs<BR>kat<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Each and everyone of us is deserving of a gentle thougth, a kind word and the gift of understanding"

{{{{{Zorweb}}}}}<P>Your postings mean so much to so many here and you are truly an inspiration to many of us! Your commitment and dedication to yourself, your marriage, and your love light the way for many of us on the beginning of a dark and scary trail. <BR>*Bowing to the Queen*..hehehe<P>I wish you well and may your special time for your anniversary be filled with much love and joy!! I know that you have probably already gone to Santa Fe, but I have been starting a new job, and it has been rather hectic, so I have not been able to be here as much, but have thought of many of you often!! I am very happy for you and your *attitude adjustment* Have a great day!!<P>True

Z<P>I love Santa Fe...haven't been there in years, but I bet you and your H can get lost in the market, shops and art galleries there and have a great time.<P>I can't imagine the feeling of knowing you got married one weekend while your H was planning a rendezvous w/OW for the next, but sometimes we have to let go of stuff and I am not a counselor but it seems the more we BS dwell on what happened, how it was planned and what our BS may have been thinking and saying the harder it is to move ahead.<P>"You can't find happiness looking backwards." I stole that from a George Strait song but it seems so appropriate in these situations. <P>Keep your chin up and keep looking forward and you will be giving yourself and H a good chance to make it. <P>Have a great time in Santa Fe...the Queen deserves it! <P>E <P><BR>

Trueheart and Elad,<P>Gee you guys are great!! Let me assure you that you have all been a great inspiration to me. Our recovery would not be where it is today without all of you holding my hand through it all. So if I can give back something I feel blessed.<P>Actually we have not had our trip to Santa Fe yet. My H's travel schedule chaged at the last minute so we had to put it off until the last weekend of the month... that's the next weekend we don't have kids at home. But, actually this works out better because we will both be able to make a couple of extra days off work and make it a 4 day weekend.. so more time together!!!!<P>Santa Fe is sort of a magical place isn't it? I live 60 miles away from SF and have not been there in probably 6 years. I used to go all the time and have missed it. My H is new to NM so he has never been. So this is going to be tons of fun, a chance to rediscover SF with my new H.<P>I'm smiling from ear to silly ear (SFETSE) here.<P>Z<P><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

zorweb,<P>Congratulations!!! Happy Anniversary!!! Good thought, look ahead and celebrate the future with your New H. Oh how so many of us envy you!!!!<P>I looked back and celebrated the 20 years we had had on our anniversary, as I was told in no uncertain terms that there would be no others to look forward to, that he truly loved the OW.<P>So be thankful and oh so very proud that you made it through this first year!! You must be one H**l of a woman to have to deal with an A and the first year of marriage at the same time!! Kudos to you!!<P>Best wishes to many more happy days to come.<P>daybreak

Have a great time in Santa Fe, Zorweb! Wishing you a lifetime of happy anniversaries,<P>hugs, Paint.