Bren! I'm so sorry! <P>Are you asking how to ask him for this? I don't think I have any experience with an uptight H. Can somebody else give some advice here?<P>One thing I forgot to mention is you could try making things as "interesting" as possible for your H down south. I mean, there is a certain "hairstyle" alot of women are wearing these days. Nothing worse than a bad hair day! What's in now is a kind of short-cropped mowhalk kind of look. Any centerfold worth her salt has one.<P>You can do it yourself or have it done by waxing at certain salons. But if you're shy to begin with...Just be VERY careful with the scissors if you try this yourself--go slowly and take your time and don't look away for a second! And use a mirror. And of course a regular razor for the "Charlie Chaplin" part--Do not do this if you're in a hurry or if your H is home! You can prevent the ingrown hairs with a loofah each time you shower.<P>Or you could go bare--but did that only twice--the growing back in period was killer!!<P>There is also non-piercing jewelry--I kid you not, flavored gels, crotchless underwear. It would eliminate the need for you to say or ask for anything! <P>1 more thing to add on. If you're H isn't enthused about this, maybe it's because he isn't getting enough "feedback" or reaction<BR>from you. I've gotten way better at just letting myself go and getting more verbal and demonstrative since the A. I used to be afraid of losing control or appearing "wanton". Now, it like--who cares!! <P> Need a mental focus enhancer? Imagine the OW standing outside your bedroom trying to eavesdrop. I've just come up with this, have never used it--I've gone "pro"--but let me know if it works. <P>Bren, you HAVE to tell me when you've met with some success on this!<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Leilana (edited July 24, 2000).]

Shortly after dday we had an evening that included scissors,clippers etc... great sex that night!!!<P>H and I are both nicely trimmed I think it means alot to the other spouse that you care

Leilana,<P>My condolences on your H's BIG feet, LOL!<P>Poor you, YEAH Right! I'm so jealous.<P>Guess it's time to visit the local sex shop for those alternative electronic sex tools. <P>Lora, You up for shopping this week-end? <P>Jo<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited July 24, 2000).]

LOL by this thread, and blushing at the same time...All I"ll say is I bought some cinnamon mints and am keeping them in my nightstand. <BR>Just in case.....

I still haven't had a chance to try this out. I've gotta show this to my H! Anyway - some one else wanted to know about the mint deal - IT'S WONDERFUL BOTH WAYS!!!! <P>Another thing we tried was menthol cough drops, work the same as altoids, but the sensation with altoids is much better. Just a careful note on the oils, be careful with that stuff. I had an awful allergic reaction to the flavored oil, but heck I can't even use Avon Skin So Soft stuff because I'm allergic to some of the ingredients.<P>Again - I'll report once Mother Nature leaves me be!

Ahem, one note on using things that can be tinglely, (I can't believe I'm going to tell this ) When Mike and I were still discovering each others likes and dislikes, he wanted to expariment. <P>We had some peppermint schnapps, he applied a little to me, saying, "it's so low in alcohol it won't burn". Ladies and Gents, he <B> LIED </B> !!! Have you ever seen someone jump straight up yelling like a scalded cat ? Do not do that !<P>To be serious tho, one reason I don't like to give oral sex is I am afraid I am not good at it and I'm afraid I'll hurt him with my teeth. But he really is a man who doesn't care about recieving it that much either so it works out.<P>Bren, Truthfully the only time I am comfortable talking to Mike openly about sex is right after we have had sex, maybe your h would be more more open then ? Another thing you might want to do is if he does do that for you, let him know with out a doubt that you really really liked it. Do the ego stroke thing. I found out a long time ago if you let them (men) know what you want and<BR>that you like it when they give it to you, you may get it more often.<P>As for this whole swallowing question, I have done it, it makes me gag but hey. But you know after my h has done that to me he wants to kiss me when we have intercourse afterward w/o brushing his teeth which is ok as long as he has only been with me. But if he should ever get all into me swallowing , well, he better be willing to kiss me afterward too. Fair is fair !!<P>Now I will go hide until the blush goes away ! <p>[This message has been edited by Bozos_ Deb (edited July 27, 2000).]

There's a book out there called "How to make love to a man," and also one called "Venus and Mars in the Bedroom," that both cover this topic.<P>Good luck, and keep a glass of wine handy for her afterwards. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nowhereman:<BR><B>I just have to respond.....<P>If you or your spouse has a wife that is good with this topic.....<P>COUNT YOUSELF AS LUCKY!!!!<P>Maybe my luck will change one day....<P>LOL!!!<P>Anyone have a book I can buy for my wife!<P>You all take care.....</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

In case you never had biology, there are already billions of little creatures swimming around in your mouth. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Genie29:<BR><B>I never knew that there were this many woman out there that hated it as much as I did but here is a BIG HOWDY</B> to all of you.<P>I don't like it either and I can't imagine any concocktion {no punt intended} making it any better. <P>I just have a big problem with the thought of millions of little creatures swimming around in <B>mouth</B>. Nasty isn't it? But it is alot nastier to do it than it is to talk about it...lololol.<P>Anyway, I am not sure but I do know that the OW was a swallower and according to my H, it wasn 't that big of a turn on for him; but there is the distinct possibility that he is lying to me that is.<P>Doesn't matter though, because that is something that I refuse to do. YUCK YUCK YUCK<P>But thanks for all the laughs...lol<BR>Genie<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

On a more obvious note, just spitting after you make love is a bit rude and rejective (IS THAT A WORD?), ladies, imagine if your husband were french-kissing you and when he finished he turned his head to the side and spit. Or said "why don't I just finish this with my hand--and let you suck his thumb when you got really excited. Kind of depressing isn't it? Swallowing is the only really passionate completion to this act, like it or not, do it or not. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by cjack:<BR><B>Interesting...never thought I'd see such an open discussion of this topic!<P>My W reminds me of that character in Austin Powers. Her maiden name was definitely "swallows," but became "spitz" when we married!<P>She never enjoyed receiving oral before, but in the past few months (as we careen towards D, oddly enough), she enjoys it when I "go downtown."<P>So I guess we've flip-flopped.<P>I think the pleasure a man feels when a woman swallows is pre-programmed into our genes. From an evolutionary standpoint, it makes sense. At its root, our sexual desire is an adaptation to make sure we reproduce. Without a strong sex drive, our species would die out rather quickly. In other words, every fiber of our being is saying to us: "get your sperm inside of that woman at all costs!" When we don't deliver our seed directly inside our sexual partner, some primal part of us knows that we have failed! This is one of the reasons I think condoms are so difficult to cope with for many men. No matter how thin and sensitive, they really DO feel different. Not because of the decrease in sensitivity, but because subconciously, the man knows that his genetically prescribed need for reproduction is not being filled.<P>I'm no scientist, but I think I may be right on this one. Sorry ladies!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Your comments on rejection are exactly what we (anyway, what I as a man) feel. It's exactly like someone kissing you and then spitting. After watching women wolf down a half pint of vanilla yogurt in 30 seconds it's hard to believe that they can't swallow a teaspoon of semen in the heat of passion. Thanks for commenting. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leilana:<BR><B>Cjack and F A<P>I think you may be partially right. But I think it might have more to do with a feeling of rejection than an instinct of repoduction. <P>To spit--I kind of liken it to somebody going "ptooey!" and scrubbing their mouth after you've kissed them.<P>I'm sure alot of us women here feel the same way in the "reverse situation".<P>Who wants some aspect of their body to be thought of as repulsive? Especially one aspect that proves you're a "manly man"?<P>I think that's why for some, it's an EN. And I think OW may instinctively know this and meet it with gusto. <P>For those of you who feel this thread brings you pain, I'm sorry--but if the title of it didn't sound any alarms, you would've had ample warning from the first sentence in! <P>But do you think we should we have a warning label on our topics? What would you suggest?<P>Marie--tried the honey before, among other condiments. Yummy but always a qualified mess. Maybe an instruction should be added<BR>to attempt this only on the kitchen table. <P>Anne, (correct me if wrong, Delilah) the mints are supposed to be chewed or sucked on right before any fun starts--nothing as unromantic as having to do the hiemlick manuever during intimacy!<P>There's a joke that goes with that but I will refrain. <P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

I think the most difficult part of this for me is that several old girlfriends had no problems with swallowing, and in addition one was so exceptional at this type of affection that I've never quite stopped missing her in that area. Wish I could just forget about her, but parts of me will always remember.

Back in the days of lava lamps and disco when I was flitting around town (and single) I learned a valuable lesson- oral sex is power, and the better you are, the more power you get. <P>Over the years, I have talked to so many women who won't give, won't swallow, think it's disguisting, think it's biblically wrong, and various other excuses for not providing oral sex. I would say to these women- this is your H's body, and the more you can make him feel that all of his body, as well as his semen, is sacred and perfect, the more he will worship and adore you. Some would never try it, but of those who did, they reported that indeed, their H's felt special when they at least made an effort, however awkward it was when they first tried it (i.e. even if they gagged, spit, or cried in the beginning). <P>I love the recipe, because for one thing, he need never know you drank it before the act. The Altoids work well, as mentioned above. But the best way is to just DO IT, like the Nike ads say... no extra tools, just you, him, and a willing spirit.<P>EB

OK, I've been following this and you've finally drawn me into it....<P>Ladies, those of you who don't swallow and do appreciate having oral sex performed on you, think about this...<P>From the male perspective, it is impossible not to ingest a little fluid when you are pleasuring your mate. How would you females respond if every 10 or 15 seconds, your H had to stop and hawk one into a little spittoon beside the bed??? Wouldn't contribute much to the intimacy of the moment would it??<P>Another observation is that my fluids are held in a relatively sealed container with little chance of any significant contamination. Hers are in an "open container" where "contamination" is a little more the way of life. Would you rather have a drink of water from a sealed water bottle or just drink from a bowl that had been sitting out on the counter for a while????<P>Anyway, just had to respond to this....It sure lightens things up around here....<P>--DeWayne--

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by trying to rebuild:<BR><B>My H feels an emotional closeness if I swallow. Could possibly be on his emotional needs list, lol.</B><P>Me, too. Okay, since we're sharing, I'll tell you my take on this. <P><B>Well, we were watching tv the other night and found what is called a "sex shake". It is supposed to change the taste of the semen. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Is that the episode of The Waltons where John-Boy gets a job in the city as a newspaper reporter?<P>I posted about this elsewhere, but it is interesting how my W's attitude changed on this topic. I wish there was some more gracious terminology available here, but I'll just jump right in. My W definitely swallowed on occasion before we were married. <P>She would really try hard, her face would get all red and everything <P>Okay, I was going for an icon joke there. Anyway...<P>I have specific memories of specific times and specific places...definitely her, not some old girlfriend.......in a special memory bank...the guys would understand <P>Then we had a long period where she had a strong sex drive, so any time we were sexual, she wanted to finish with intercourse. During this time she always did oral sex on me as part of foreplay....she seemed to enjoy it, at least, always went right for it.<P>After some years went by, I noticed that we never had oral to completion. I mentioned it, and she said "Oh, I never did that! That's gross." Now, my W does not lie about anything, ever. She had genuinely forgotten. Anyway, after a decent amount of good-natured pressure, we are now in a mode where she will complete oral, but then spit. <P>So....calculate the psychic pluses and minuses of that sexual compromise. She brings tissues to bed and lays them out and prepares herself like she's changing a diaper. <P><sigh> Well, I suppose I should appreciate the extra effort....but, like others. I am cursed by pre-marital memories of more liberal partners.<P>Okay, I have to go in the bathroom and lock the door for awhile now <BR><p>[This message has been edited by Mike C2 (edited August 01, 2000).]

Very interesting and entertaining thread (yes - nothing like a little humor to make you feel better when you're thinking that jumping off a roof is a good solution...)<P>BTW - The GUY is supposed to drink this - or did I get it wrong?<P>Also - yes - "egg beaters" for those concerned about raw eggs.<P>Question for the ladies.... the altoid doesn't burn? Geesh! Those things are so strong I spit THEM out (though my wife likes them.... pity..)<P>BTW - the original recipie sounds like strong egg nog.<P>AND - I heard that asparagus is definitely the wrong thing for a guy to eat before, well, uh.. forget it...<P>Val<BR>(The Husband)

I, too, thought the post was about swallowing one's pride. Boy, was I wrong! :-)<P>Ok, I have to admit here that I used to enjoy oral sex more with my ex. My H seems to have a really unusual consistency and taste to his semen. Clorox is close to the smell, but the consistency is more similar to globby mucous. My previous BF tasted much better, and his was milkier, so it's hard to get used to this!!! (btw, I would NEVER tell H that he'd be crushed!!!!!) I just have to wonder why it's so different though. <P>I do enjoy it better in the shower...you have to watch you don't drown though. :-) But at least I know he's clean. I mean, I don't know where his "parts" have been all day and I am sensitive to the fact that I know I have more "exposure" so I make sure I clean up before he does anything to me. In fact, I won't let him do anything unless I know I'm feeling "fresh". He doesn't seem to mind too much though, either way but I do. I hate that sweaty smell that men get down there. Or maybe it's just my guy, but that's a little overwhelming when your face is pressed into someone's crotch. So I feel more in the mood when I know he hasn't just peed in the toilet. :-)<P>My H has also indicated that he really enjoys vaginal sex the best. It's more intense for him. I believe him by his reactions. I think variety is the spice of life and I think the best way to please him is to give him as much variety as possible.<P><BR>

LOL, Mike!! You're hilarious.<P>You too, DeWayne. You compare your fluids to Evian water and ours to Fido's water dish?! Why you sweet talk'n man, you!! <P>I just had to bring this back to the top--things were getting too serious up there. <P>

I very rarely venture over to "this side" of the board now that I am almost divorced. For some strange reason today I decided to see what was up! I too, saw that title and thought...hmmmm, it must be pride. LOLOL<P>I am amazed at HOW LARGE this thread is getting!! <P>Never knew that swapping recipes could be so much fun!! <P>Anyhow, here's a tip that holds to be true, along with the pepsi, if its really a concern, feed him pineapple. Juice, chunks, anything! Don't laugh it works! <P>I'd agree that to the males , it must seem quite unromantic to "spit" and me personally, I'd rather swallow than go change the sheets! <P>TO CHICK: I been sending you mail and now that you haven't wrote back, I see where you are spending your extra time!!!! <P>Next time a subject like this is up, SOMEONE come find me on the divorced site!! <P>

Well, I replied on the thread about shaving, so why pass this one up.<BR> I have to tell you all, this thread has had me rolling on the floor!!!!! Especially the post from the fella who asked how we women would feel if our man had to stop and spit every 15 to 20 seconds.<P> Okay, so this will make everyone think I'm gross or something. I love to do that to my husband. I also swallow, don't consider the job done if I don't swallow. He pleasures me endlessly orally, and who am I to say after all that, "Hell no, I won't swallow". I don't particularly care for the taste, sometimes it's easier to take than others, but that's not the point to me. I am doing it to say "Thanks" to him for all the pleasure that he gives me, orally as well as vaginally. I am 39 years old, and no man I ever met has been even close to my H sexually, and I don't think anyone else I might meet could either. I know that he likes to give me oral sex, and I like to reciprocate, because I want him to feel as good as he is making me feel. He doesn't prefer one over the other, but I must admit he enjoys being surprised with this out of the blue. Also, I only go down if he's fresh from the shower, to avoid the sweaty smell someone mentioned earlier. By the same token, I don't expect him to go down unless I am freshly showered either. This subject is the same as with anything else in a marriage, you have to do what makes you feel comfortable. I formerly didn't care much for him going down on me, felt nice and all, but I would rather have had the other. H did not give up, and got his tongue pierced, and it definitely made a difference. I am lucky, I believe.

The world needs more women like you. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ktgirl:<BR><B>Well, I replied on the thread about shaving, so why pass this one up.<BR> I have to tell you all, this thread has had me rolling on the floor!!!!! Especially the post from the fella who asked how we women would feel if our man had to stop and spit every 15 to 20 seconds.<P> Okay, so this will make everyone think I'm gross or something. I love to do that to my husband. I also swallow, don't consider the job done if I don't swallow. He pleasures me endlessly orally, and who am I to say after all that, "Hell no, I won't swallow". I don't particularly care for the taste, sometimes it's easier to take than others, but that's not the point to me. I am doing it to say "Thanks" to him for all the pleasure that he gives me, orally as well as vaginally. I am 39 years old, and no man I ever met has been even close to my H sexually, and I don't think anyone else I might meet could either. I know that he likes to give me oral sex, and I like to reciprocate, because I want him to feel as good as he is making me feel. He doesn't prefer one over the other, but I must admit he enjoys being surprised with this out of the blue. Also, I only go down if he's fresh from the shower, to avoid the sweaty smell someone mentioned earlier. By the same token, I don't expect him to go down unless I am freshly showered either. This subject is the same as with anything else in a marriage, you have to do what makes you feel comfortable. I formerly didn't care much for him going down on me, felt nice and all, but I would rather have had the other. H did not give up, and got his tongue pierced, and it definitely made a difference. I am lucky, I believe. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>