I have a small dilemma. Wife asked me if I wanted to come to her baseball game tomorrow morning, near where I live. Presented as being an option for spending time with the kids on a day I don't have them. May very well be just a way for them to be babysat, cause really, she should ditch this baseball and be doing kids things. Her friends kids (9 and 11?) seem to be the solution to watch them at these games. I don't like it, but that is another story.<P>Anyway, I asked who would be there, and she said only two names that I know.<P>I'm not comfortable being around any of her "new friends", because they all associate with OM and know that he and my wife are involved.<P>Not going seems like not being consistent with Plan A, but I'm not really interested. I hate the thought that it looks like I didn't want to go and spend time with my kids, when in reality I want them all the time.<P>I'd like to just tell her that I'm uncomfortable being around <friend1> and <friend2> and the reason, but her response will be an abrasive one at best, because of course this would all imply that an affair has been occurring <P>Any thoughts?

You are right. It would be inconsistent with Plan A. I vote you go. It could end up to be a good time. Besides that, YOU will be there and OM won't and that means everybody who "knows" about them will see YOU at the game.<BR>Could be a nice family outing. How about a picnic or a trip to the icecream shop afterwards?<BR>Take every chance you get and put on a stellar Plan A.<P>cleo

Hi Friend - I'd be inclined to go to be with my kids AND to mingle with Thing 1 and Thing 2 - precisely because they know about the designated hitter. You can demonstrate your great parenting skills, show the love for your kids, and come across as a great guy - probably contradicting your wife's description to the Thing crowd. I fully understand your distaste for being around her new friends, but this is also an opportunity to finish up with a strong Plan A.<P>WAT

Hey Rick, how did your call with Steve go? <P>I second Cleo's idea. If nothing else, go for the sake of your kids. They will love having you there, and it is also a good opportunity for some family time.<P>I don't know about your kids, but mine love ice cream (even my 1 year old son), so a trip to the ice cream shop would be a great way to top off the day.<P>I know you're struggling with things as of lately. I really hope Steve could provide some direction for you on when to move into Plan B. It just seems like nothing is clearing your W's fog. Believe me, I know how difficult it is to deal with.....<P>We're here for you.....

<"I'm not comfortable being around any of her "new friends", because they all associate with OM and know that he and my wife are involved."><P>Here WAT and I are on the same wave length again <P>I deal with things like that all the time, will be tonite H is in a band. Believe me best defense is a good offense. Going being Mr Wonderful is going to make it much harder on her, and it's a great idea. Fake it till you make it, smiles everyone. <P>

Yes - go - definately.

Count is 4 balls and no strikes...<P>Darn, why did you guys and gals have to do this to me?????? <P>My fear is that OM does happen to be there after all, because in that case, I'm outta there.<P>So I suppose I'm going now.....<P>Thanks.<P>Edit - with Paint sliding in there, the count keeps climbing.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Rick37 (edited June 08, 2001).]

Go.. stand taller than normal...<P>Remember... You're not the bad guy here. Show them. <P>If OM shows and you leave... you give him pwer he doesnt deserve.

Rick, I agree with BaseballHat. Do NOT give your power away. Go and show them what your made of - you can do it!!<BR> <BR>

My call with Steve was fine. Only thing was I forgot to ask a couple of key items I had in mind. But based on my statement to him that I'm just sick of the lies and deception, he agrees that Plan B is a good idea. I have not set a date yet, although I have one in mind. I'm just playing it day by day.<P>He thought the letter was fine. He did say it was "on the edge" as far as the stuff I'm saying in it that is intended to clarify things to OM. But it passed the Steve test.<P>So, we'll see what transpires in the next week or so.

Sorry to bust in on your pow wow but being the biggest ball fan this side of the Rookies I had to chime in......GO!<BR>I like WAT's comment about showing "thing 1 and 2" contridictions to what the wife has maybe been saying. Cram it down their ill informed throats as to how a great person you are. Take the high road and bring ice cold water for the wife. Cheer like you have never cheered before for her and her team. Yikes, did i miss understand, is it her game or a childs game? Well Either way. If the OM shows up dont kill him and dont leave. Be civil, afterall your children are present. Got a buddy you can bring for moral support? Maybe a kid brother or older wiser brother, neighbor, anyone?<BR>The ice cream idea is great as well.<BR>As it stands with 4 balls and no strikes you have to take the walk my friend. <P>Keep us posted. You can count on us for bail money too

Heart's Cry - Does the money offer only apply to bail? <P>As it stands now, I'll take the "walk" <P>However, my spider senses are tingling and there is a chance that I'm being pulled from the game - her last conversation was that she wasn't sure which field, because it depends on whether the team wins tonight....so she'll call and let me know. There is a chance that this means I should not hold my breath waiting for a call. We'll see. I know her quite well, but I'm unsure on this one.<P>Thanks.

Just for the record, I never got the baseball call, as I was suspecting, but for different reasons. She ended up not playing....said she didn't feel like it. She is acting strange. Invited me for dinner tonight at her place. She said my son was kind of sad, and missed me. So I went. There isn't any meaning to this dinner thing.<P>Then the kids wanted to come back with me. They always do. So she let them come with me. Then she called tonight and wondered if she could have them back tomorrow, because technically I wasn't supposed to get them till Monday. She said she misses them. She said she wants to invite me for dinner more often, but she doesn't because she knows the kids will want to leave with me. Hmmmmmm<P>Now this is the woman that until recently (maybe still now, don't know) would scheme ways of giving me the kids so she could go wherever she goes with friends and OM. Instead of them going to her place (I don't want them bouncing around too much), I may turn it into a "lets spend the day with them together" thing...take them places.<P>

Rick37<BR>Sounds like your WS may be behaving differently too!<BR>I think the "let's spend the day with them together" is a great idea! (for the kids sake, of course)<BR>What a great opportunity for you to plan A and use some of your own great advice. <P><BR>

This is looking promising Rick - I wonder what's happening in her life right now?.....Hmmmmm<P>Best of luck, Paint

If the past is any indication, none of this has any meaning. Oh well, provides something to think about and analyze! Just take it as it comes. Thanks for the replies.<P>