Hi Lori,<P>Just wanted to let you know how much I loved this part of your post on another thread:<P>"I don't remember when I posted it, but I remember when it hit me and I wrote it here: I am NOT a BS and Robert is NOT a WS.....we were once, but not anymore!!! It IS possible to get there!"<P>It never really struck me how much both I and Sparky hang on to those labels, almost like a scarlet letter or a badge of honor. <P>But I think you make an incredible point that at least I needed to realize. We Once were but we are no longer.<P>Just wanted to let you know what an impact that had on me this morning! <P>Thanks!<P><P>------------------<BR>Cat<P>catfrommb@yahoo.com<P>We're only human, baby<BR>We walk on broken ground<BR>We lose our way<BR>We come unwound<BR>We'll turn in circles, baby<BR>We're never satisfied<BR>We'll fall from grace<BR>Forget we can fly<BR>But through all the tears that we cried<BR>We'll survive<P>Cause when we're torn apart<BR>Shattered and scarred<BR>Love has the grace to save us<P>Sara Evans-- Born to Fly

Hey, Cat! I knew there were more of us "formers" out there.<P>I do remember the day I realized that and it was one of my last real threads, I think. When I said it out loud, it was almost like losing 100 pounds!<P>Glad to hear you guys are traveling the same road! <P>Lori

So tell me. When does this transformation happen. I feel that way about my husand (SeenTheLight) and I. But after 2.5 months since D-day am I daydreaming? <P>We have come a long way. We are both committed 100% to rebuilding our marriage from the ground up. <P>Yet is 2.5 months just not long enough?<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Hi Cat (and Lori and zorweb too!) it's me, Sheryl, aka new_beginning with my not-so-new name!<P>Just wanted to send a <P><BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

Hi, Sheryl!! <P>Zorweb - it's different for all of us. I'd think 2.5 months might be a little soon, but it's possible! See a couple of months after d-day, Robert was leaving me to live with PT. And he only returned about 7 months later. It took us a few months in recovery b/f I actually stopped feeling like a BS and thinking of HIM as a WS! But it DOES happen.<P>Great for you guys and good luck along the way! Look, a bit of advice. I'm so happy you're feeling this way now, but don't, PLLEEEAASSSEEE don't let little setbacks throw you, his OR yours, 'cause you'll both have them. It doesn't meant the end or that recovery is failing, it simply means that it's going as it does. You may discover that one or both of you all of a sudden doesn't want to try anymore. Remember, this is normal and this, too, will pass. You might be amazed at some of the things that happen as this journey continues.<P>Stay the course. Believe in yourself and your husband and the marriage you know you can build even when it's hard to do. It will get you through and it's worth it.<P>Love and prayers,<P>Lori

Lori,<P>I think that the main reason things have gone well and quickly for us is that my H had already arrived at the point where he was almost totally out of the fog when I discovered his affairs. He'd apparently been back peddling, trying to end things with all of his chat "buddies" for about a month a that point. <P>To this day I feel blessed about that. <P>Z<P><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

I'm so happy for you, Zorweb! Keep working and keep loving. I can tell by your posts that you guys will be fine. (Yeah, I read even some posts I don't post back to - lucky too, I'm terribly long-winded! )<P>Love and prayers,<P>Lori