Does anyone have any advice or encouragement for a pregnant wife whose husband, who has recently ended an affair(I think) doesn't love her and doesn't know whether it's worth coming back?

First, lots of ((((hugs)))). I really do understand how you feel - my husband did the exact same thing to me...<P>Firstly, you have come to the right place, and secondly - don't ever give up hope. This is a very complicated mess and it takes a while to sort out - but you can get there, it takes time and it takes a lot of hard work, but Dr. Harley's advice is good advice. Someone will be along to point you to some links that you should read on this website and to welcome you. In the meantime - we are here to help you as much as we can, we care, and you are not alone. Post as often as you want, I know this is a difficult time for you.<P>hugs again, Paint.

DAncer if he's recently ended his A he's probably VERY confused and in withdrawal from the OW which is a common thing they go thru. My H had broke it off 4-5 times with OW but would get weak a few wks later then contact her and she would demand he take further steps to divorce me. This went all the way to the point of him filing for D on me then he cames to his senses and cancelled it .But even after that he was in withdrawal for 6 MORE wks. Its taken 4 mo past d-day even with OW taking a job transfer to another state before he would start re-committing to our marriage. Its like taking a meatbone away from a rottwelier! Is your H convinced his is 'in love' with the OW? Mine said he was and so he had to convince himself in his mind that he was out of love with me and in love with her. But you know what? Deep down he DID love me and eventually started acting like it. Think of your H as temporarily insane and dont argue with him or take what he says too seriously. Mine said all sorts of crazy things for the first 2 mo he was back home. Also remember that 80% of cheaters that divorce their spouses regret it later and only 3% of cheaters marry the OP( this is from the book Affair- proof your marriage) Time is on your side. lifeismessy

THankyou for sending your replies - I want to cry but the darn plumbers are here. I never thought a letter from a stranger could bring so much encouragement. <BR>Time is on my side, its just moving through it. I read some of Dr Harleys stuff and it is like reading about my husband. I just wish I could share these precious growing moments with him. I'll never get them back - neither will he. My family live interstate so I am returning there in a few weeks to have their support during the birth. Hubby is coming too, but not with me. Perhaps this will give us a chance. But I found some internet details about jobs in the UK in his Bible. Would he really go for good? Is his guilt too much for him? How do you treat a man you're married to that doesn't want you, but wants the baby? Just some thoughts.<P>Dancer