Just thought I'd say hi y'all since it's been awhile....<P>My trip to CA and AZ was good. We did the tourist thing, and the presentation at the conference in AZ went well. I have been asked to present in Michigan next Feb. - so that is a good sign??? And, I believe the college may hire me after my volunteer internship is up. It was great to see my sons, parents and sister. Have a new grand-baby on the way! My husband is a terrific photographer, so I think I will make my family a nice little slide show of our trip and put it on a CD. <P>My foot is still pretty messed up.... which means that I am not meeting my husband's emotional needs of "domestic support" - and it is taking its toll. He's fed up, and been lovebusting since last Thursday. Not a good scene. My surgery cannot happen until after the foot heals, so who knows how long it will continue. <P>Status quo situation - we still are not into full recovery because my husband still does not believe it is required to follow POJA, but he is getting MUCH BETTER at the rule of honesty..... He fills up my love-bank quite well and his "withdrawals" are few and far between. <P>I can't help but feel we are in a 'danger zone' - he's not happy with his job, and with the remodal at the lake house and this house still not finished and on the market, he's feeling very pressured. His X is still living 4 doors down, which causes me to lovebust - (his family is incredibly S T U P I D and thinks we are all one happy family or something? UGGH) but other than that we are doing okay.<P>We spent a wonderful afternoon at the lake yesterday, while he put the dock in - so life isn't so bad at all...!!!<P>What is up in your neck of the woods???<P>Check - in.... and say HI!<P>take care, tnt<BR>

TNT--HI!!!<P>Glad to read your update. Even if things aren't perfect yet, you sound good, and certainly from 2 years ago, there is improvement! Now if you could just magically finish the lake house and get AWAY from the X...and wasn't the OW nearby as well. Ick. You've got a lot of fortitude.<P>Hopefully at least your foot will heal.<P>We're doing pretty good. Having our 18th wedding anniversary (...er, happiest 12 years of my life ) Amazed really, I didn't know if we'd make it past 15...and still don't know where all those years went. After all the turmoil, sometimes I think our biggest obstacle now is not falling into old ruts. Our form of POJA tends to be "let's do whatever you want to do" followed by "no, what do you want to do". There should be a cure for that.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious...think about these things." Phil 4:8

Well... hi there! <P>Was it hot in the west over Memorial Day, or WHAT? <P>I thought of you as we toddled through Ontario Airport! <P>Your poor footsie! Sending loving vibes on over to you...<P>(((((TnT)))))<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

Hi TnT,<P>Long time. Glad you are doing well besides your foot. Hope it will be well soon. <P>(((((TnT))))))))

Hi Lor, ~Sheryl and Pahakissa1,<P>Lor - Yes, you are absolutely right..... IF a magic wand could be waved... and finish the lake house and get AWAY from the X...and the OW (who got married 3 weeks ago by the way, and lives behind X, heh heh heh....) <P>Lor - 18 years!! WOW! You know, thinking about POJA... I was down in the cities at a seminar last week - and one afternoon we talked solely about conflict. They said the least satisfying way to resolve conflict is by compromise - because BOTH are losing something. When we are having our emotional needs met, we don't notice what we lose - there is sort of a balance then. But - if both parties can learn to "detach from the problem", and use a balance of conflict resolution techniques to resolve the issue, then better solutions can be made. It would take me more than a paragraph to explain it - but our method of resolution will be chosen based on habit, when there is stress involved. But without stress, with respect - then the method that you choose to resolve the conflict will reflect what is more important to you - the issue or the relationship. I wish I could have drug you with me to the conference because you could explain it 10 times better than I....!!! The bottom line is for both parties to step away from the issue, and find a solution that is meeting BOTH of their needs. Which can really get tough it is a value issue, family issue, or money issue, or sex issue, or kid issue, or ANY issue for that matter... haha<P>~Sheryl - Gosh, you didn't see a hobbly lady at the airport? I was there on the 30th, and thought - gee wouldn't that be wild if you came up and said Hi... WOW they really have built that airport up! I remember when there was ONE terminal.... Yes, the weather was pretty awesome in So CA (San Bernardino and Cherry Valley) - SUPER hot in AZ but San Diego made me only want to curl up by a fire with some hot tea and a good book - very gloomy.<P>Pahakissa1 - Thanks for the hugs, and the well wishes for my foot. How are you doing my friend? <P>TnT <P><BR>

HI TNT!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>So nice to see your name.<BR>I am happy to hear the presentation went well. More later, have to get to work! cl<BR>(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

CL CL CL!! Hello there! <P>What can you do for ligament problems? Am in a removable cast and SICK OF IT! <P>GOTTA RUN and get to work.... thanks for checkin in! What is up in your world? Been on any trips lately? Were they for fun or for work?<P>c-ya!<BR>TnT

Boy, it's good to hear from you! Be good to that foot, keep the 2X4 handy for hubby and I just KNOW you'll be fine!<P>We're doing very well. I do believe we're starting to get this marriage thingy. I laughed about your statement of POJA. Robert thinks it's perfectly reasonable - in theory - but, of course, it's just not possible in THIS instance, maybe next time!! <P>Take care of yourself, Hon. <P>Love,<P>Lori

Hi TnT<BR>Wonderful to see you! And you sound terrific - foot problems aside....<P>What strikes me as so amazing is you and your attitude - even though X AND OW still live nearby you have perspective, and focus and happiness. Because it comes from within you - lots of us still have so much to learn and grow in this way.<P>I'm doing OK. Still maybe a couple months away from the divorce being final, and still in plan B for the most part, but I am a lot closer to acceptance and can even envision feeling healed sometime soon.<P>Take care Tnt - <P>Starpony

Hi, Tnt, sounds like you have many positive things going in your life right now! <P>I hope your move speeds up and goes easily. Take care of that foot!