I'm at the end of the rope as you could say. My wife is dead-set on making me miserable so I will divorce her. Why? My guess is: 1) She would feel too guilty to do it; 2) She's to afraid of financials; and 3) She feels she deserves it for her brief affair.<P>It has been 4 months of giving and giving by myself. Sometimes seeing hope, but often being hurt and feelings of how can a person do this to another human being. She doesn't and hasn't said "I love you" to me since the affair.<P>I have turned to God and that has helped me tremendously, but have now been made fun of and called a preacher! I love this woman, and want nothing of a divorce, but am growing tired of the control, selfishness, and lack of faith in her. <P>She's 22, I'm 33 might explain part of the problem. She claims I forced her to marry me! What next? I regretfully asked that she might leave tonight and just don't know if I should bite my tongue. Or, stand up and quit being the doormat! Please respond ASAP. My heart goes out to all in pain.

Penzman<BR>If you have read through the MB website and you are wanting to save your M, then you should decide if you want to be in plan A or plan B. I would assume you would like to be in planA and should therefore hold your tounge!No love busting!<BR>What your wife is doing is not unusual for someone in an affair and who's head is in a "fog".These are likely not her true feelings.Read all you can in this website and the others in here can offer you good advice. Don't give up! Don't file for divorce if you don't want it!

Thanks for the quick reply - somebody is always out there caring for others.<P>I don't want to do it, but she even said she is staying here because of the financial security. The affair was only one night and was over 4 months ago - Does Plan A or B really apply to me, us? Sorry, but I'm confused - obviously.<P>I have read through this site the past 4 months, and it has help along with individual counseling, but I'm afraid of the temporary separation as a bad thing. Does it work?

This sums it up - She just walked in to get her pillow and said "it's too late for that MB website. Your miserable, I'm miserable and I will take care of it!"<P>All I could do was apologize for our argument and tell her I will be patient. What else can a person do....

You need to continue in plan A to bring your M to a better place. As you may have read in some of these posts, it may take up to a year for the WS to get their old feelings back again. <BR>Are you sure her A has ended?<BR>If you read through some of the posts in "recovery" you will see that others have gone through the same thing. I'm sorry that I am still waiting for my WS to move home(he lives with OW) so I don't have first hand knowledge about recovery.

Thanks Maezy. Ironically, she had a horse by the name of Maezy. I will sleep better, but am still scared.

hi<p>[This message has been edited by jdmac1 (edited August 04, 2001).]

Jdmac1 - I hope we can talk again. My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you tonight.<P>Two questions - why is she so evil towards me? I've never been treated this horrible. Every name in the book and made fun of. Why? When I'm trying to talk and help?<P>And, why does she state love is a feeling, and not a choice.

hi<p>[This message has been edited by jdmac1 (edited August 04, 2001).]