I'm frustrated, lonely, sad, angry, confused. Seems to be my life story lately.<BR>I'm fed up with withdrawl....if that truly is what my H is in. Not sure....since he can look me in the eye and tell me that he has no feelings whatsoever for the OW. He looks and acts to others like he means it. He has others convinced.<BR>I've spent the last 5 days just backing off....showing less affection and emotion, no talking about my feelings...and in doing this the resentment just grew. He didn't seem to mind. Doesn't seem to care about how I feel....doesn't seem to care about what I do....or give a thought to me concerning anything. It's seems to be all about what he wants.<BR>He does say though that he sometimes wishes that I would just tell him to leave so I could find someone that would treat me the way I deserve to be treated.....my answer....I don't want someone else to treat me that way...I want you to.<BR>He says he doesn't know why I'm wasting my time on him....my answer....I am not wasting my time on you....you are worth my time and all the effort I'm putting into this because I love you.<BR>He says that I complain about everything that he does....I don't really see it as complaining.....I'm asking why he can't do this or that for me if he does love me....even though he isn't in love with me. I guess he would see it as complaining.<BR>He says he wants those in love feelings to be there badly....but has no control over them. Says that they aren't just going to appear....they will happen if it's meant to be. <BR>Wants those in love feelings to be there and wants this marriage to work....yet does nothing to help it.<BR>When I tell him how I feel all I hear is.....I'm sorry! Not a heartfelt sorry......it's one of those sorry's that is said like.....what else do you want me to say and do?<P>I do give him credit for the little things he does. I let him know how nice it is when he gives me a kiss for no reason...which doesn't happen very often...and he can see or at least I hope he does that it makes my day and I'm in a much better mood.<BR>I just don't really know where to go from here....I feel like I'm doing everything I can....and he is just...well....he just thinks that him coming home everyday should be enough for me.<P>

I wish that there was some great advice I could give, but at this point it seems your H is very much in the Fog and in Withdrawal and the only thing you can do is wait it out using that word that a lot of us here are tired of....PATIENCE!

I'm in the same situation as you are in with my W and have learned the best thing to do is be patient. In fact, my sometimes not showing much emotion it worries her and draws her closer. My guess, is it's the trapped feeling. There is nothing else you can really do. Sooner or later they will come out or disappear into the fog. <P>In reading your posts I see guilt from him and testing you to see if your strong. I wouldn't argue with him, just hear him out, but state your love as you are. I have tried to preach and talk about the fact that love is a choice and other issues, but it just seems to turn the W away more. My hope is she will seek this site out on her own. Anytime I tell her to read a book - she won't. Kinda the rebel attitude that one acquires from the A I think. Hang in there and remember who's watching over you.