My Husband of one year and I met over the internet - both single at the time. We maintained an internet and casual relationship for approximately 9 months before beginning to date exclusively. We dated exclusively for 7 months and then married - all the time mainaining our internet relationship during working hours.<P>Approximately 5 months into our marriage, I discovered that he was still playing around in the chat rooms while at work. Needless to say, I was very hurt and confronted him with it. He never denied it, said it was just an old habit, apologized and promised that it would never happen again - losing me wasn't worth it. After a couple of weeks of hurt feelings, I knew that I had to give him a second chance because I did love him and we did have a GREAT relationship. So, I dropped it, quit moping around and tried to smile.<P>6 weeks later, while home from work sick, I got a gut feeling that I needed to go log on (that I would find him in the chat rooms). Not 30 seconds after logging on I received a message from an unknown id but for some reason had a strong feeling it was him. After a few questions, I was positive. He acknowledged being married to a wonderful woman and was just looking for a little online flirtation. I pursued the conversation asking him if he didn't get any 'flirtatation' at home - he said it just was not the same. I asked how his wife felt about him being on the 'net' and she said she didn't know. I even went as far as asking him what she would do if she found out. He said she would never approve but he wouldn't lie to her about it and hope that she would forgive him. He never caught on.<P>He wanted to know my story. I insisted that he really didn't but he pushed. So, I told him that I was just lying in bed w/ pnuemonia and I just had this feeling that if I would go log on, I would be able to catch my husband doing something that he vowed he would never do again...You can only guess what happened next.<P>We have spent the last couple of months in deep discussion. I can't just walk out - I do love him deeply and believes he truly loves me. However, my first husband cheated on me for years before either he or I had the nerve to end the relationship.<P>Now, after 2 - 3 months, I still can not bring myself to trust him. I do love him but feel my self shutting down and becoming distant just to avoid the pain but be able to be with him.<P>How do you get past it? He voluntarily quit his job and accepted a position with no computer work. I know he is doing his part to try but I don't know if I can let go of the past and allow him to prove himself.
