I had my one phone call this afternoon where I told my H not to contact me, that it was very painful to talk to him and that I want the pain to stop so he needed to respect my no contact. <P>He has called me 3 times. Once at work where he was mean and said his lawyer would contact me. Then he left a message at the house to say he had to come by and if I didn't want to see him to make sure I wasn't home (he has a computer being delivered here for some reason). I was not home and didn't get the message until later.<P>Then he called again and was actually almost nice and said he knows I want him to go through his mother, but he doesn't have time for that, he has something real important to talk about and he wants me to call him.<P>So, I called his mom. She called him. He refused to talk to her about anything and just said to have me call him, otherwise I'll be hearing from his lawyer... So much for having something real important to talk to me about.<P>Hmm.... The plot thickens. I wonder if he is getting nervous yet and possibly realizing he has really, really screwed up. I keep thinking about it and I have absolutely no idea what on earth he could benefit from going to a lawyer as opposed to going through a third party like his mom. His lawyer must not realize everything he has done...<P>He keeps saying what I am doing is highly illegal. I think it's another one of those, if he keeps saying it over and over to himself it will make it true. He is infamous for that. <P>Sigh. Wish this fog would clear sometime soon...

Hang tight sounds like you're really getting him shook up. <P>

You are doing a great job. do not take his bait. You are NOT doing anything illegal as long as you are NOT interfering with his relationship with the kids. <P>Remember, the only important conversation to you at this point is that he give up OW (no contact) and work on your marraige. That is plan B.<P>Be so thankful that your MIL is standing with you on this. <P>I really really really want to give you support, because I can see SO CLEARLY that if I had kept up the plan B during my H's initial confusion... it would have had impact.<P>My H was the same way re: plan B. I kept it up as I said then gave up too soon. I believed more of his lies... and truly believed that reality would sink in with the OW's pregnancy and then the birth. But all that has happened is that a new reality has been created that all the rest of us (his family, our kids, etc.etc. have been forced to accept.)<P>That does not mean I think he is happy... or that it is true love... or that he won't wake up... because I know he will. It's just too much damage had been done.<P>I really think that Plan B when implemented at the correct time and maintained.... will work. Keep it up.<P>You are NOT doing anything illegal. Believe me, I have had a lot of legal counsel. <P>He is trying to go through the kids to get to you. My H did the same thing.

Hurt,<P>It seems to me like he thought he could bully you into doing what he wants. when that failed he tried a little niceness and mystery to get your interest up. <P>You have him confused and that is good. Let him think awhile. Maybe you can reinforce that you will be happy to talk to him when he is ready to give up OW and restore your marrige. <P>I really think you need to stay firm here, keep being reasonable, and calm. I really agree with the documentation too. Please protect yourself and your children in this way. It is really important.<BR>Lora

Thanks tootrusting. I know, I have peace in my heart that I am doing the right thing for my kids and my family. The best I can under the circumstances. It's nice to read your support. Thanks.<P>Also, it doesn't hurt that he actually left a message on my voicemail and stated, "I know you are not keeping me from the kids..." And what baffles me is if he knows that and yet he IS STILL NOT trying to contact them - what on earth is his case possibly about? Because I wrote in my plan B letter that I wanted supervised visits? <P>AND, get this, he told my MIL like 5 times today that he has every right to come into the house and see the kids whenever he wants to. Yes, technically he does right now because I haven't filed anything. But, is he doing it now that he has been "enlightened"? NO! Good because I don't want him coming and going as he pleases and trying to contact me!<P>So, thanks for the support. I am deep in plan B now - no turning back. And I know in my heart that I have done the best I can possibly do, I have given all I can, and my MIL knows this as well. I have peace and I have no fear of what may happen if I go to court now, it's a great feeling!<P>BTW, thanks Lora. In the voicemail I left today I told him I still care for him and will be there for him if that it what he chooses.