While I have to admit that things are going really well around here lately....I've not LB'd once in about 5 days now.....YIPEE! Big step for me.<BR>My WH and I have been getting along splendidly and I can see a little more of the "old" him coming back every day.<BR>I have nothing to complain about in that department.<P>So....the reason I'm wondering how much a person can handle is....that it seems that my entire life has been one big "situation" after another.<BR>So....as soon as things start looking good for me...I start looking around the corner for the next thing that is going to happen....and today it did.<P>Our middle daughter who is 4 currently wears glasses....to try to correct her "lazy eye". The first doctor that detected it said surgery right away and gave us no other options. I didn't like that being my only option so we got a 2nd opinion and he said let's try glasses first.<P>4 years old and the poor thing wears bifocals with the strongest perscription they can write for her age.<BR>And guess what?<BR>We went for her 6 month check up today and the doctor says that they are no longer working for her. Actually he said her eyes are worse now and that surgery is eminent. Of course....this absolutely destroyed my day....didn't make my H's either.<P>Now I'm down about this....my H has been trying to cheer me up....but I can't help it....he's trying...I know he is....and I can't help but not respond to it....when I know I should be. I've been waiting for him to be there for me instead of the other way around for 2 months now.<BR>Our 4 year old is "mommy's girl" and it just tears me up to sit and think of what she is going to be going through in the next couple of months.<P>See what I mean.....my H actually starts trying....and I let him know that I know and appreciate it.....but the situation is such a let down that I can't help but just be depressed about it....even with my H helping.<P>I know I will get through this.....just needed to vent.<BR>Sometimes I just wonder exactly how much God thinks I can handle.<BR>

Miss Priss - it can seem daunting when innocent young children have medical problems that have a profound impact on their lives and the lives of those close to them. You have an enormous job to care for your daughter and bring her through this challenge. <P>You will rise to the occasion - trust me on this. You and your H need to work as a team to support both your daughter and each other. Look at this as an opportunity to build a stronger bond between all three of you. <P>Greatness is not acquired, it is thrust upon you.<P>WAT

Obviously God has a lot of faith in you. Now show Him how much faith you have in Him by putting the power back into his hands. <P>It's wonderful that you H is responding by trying to cheer you up. And I can understand that it's not having a lot of affect on you. Maybe you could tell him that what you need more then anything it to me nurtured right now. Like maybe he could just go on a walk with you, talk and hold your hand. Or take care of things around the house some this weekend so you can take a long, relaxing bath. Or maybe just cuddle with you (maybe even with you and your daughter) and hold you. Just support you both physically and emotionally.<P>And oh yes... be sure to do the same back for him. He's hurting too.<P>Just a thought that came mind.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare<p>[This message has been edited by zorweb (edited June 15, 2001).]

One more thing - please consider involving your other children in the caring and support tasks - and be sensitive to overlooking their needs. Depending on their awareness, siblings can have reactions ranging from guilt for being healthy to jealousy for feeling left out.<P>Didn't mean to add to your challenge, but I've been there and wanted to make sure you considered the more subtle issues.<P>WAT

worthatry made a very good point about involving your other children<P>I wanted to share story with you that will illustrate how children think.<P>My sister’s second daughter, I’ll call her Megan here, who was born with a hemangiona (spelling?). It is an over-growth of blood vessels right under the skin. The entire left half of Megan’s face and head was covered with the red bumpy growth. She is a beautiful child but this ugly thing covered face. As a baby she required a lot of attention: She had to be watched closely because if she tore the hemangiona open she could bleed to death very quickly. The growth covered her left eye. We had to tape it open for a certain number of hours daily in the hope that letting light into the eye would save her eyesight. That did not work; at 15 she is blind in that eye. Since the hemangiona is a growth of blood vessels her body had to produce tons of extra blood. This sapped her energy and made her seem slow and cranky. And in public you’d better believe Megan got a lot of attention, it was not always good attention but it was attention. In preschool her older sister, Tammy (2 years older) had to protect her sister from all of the other kids who called Megan a monster and wanted to pick on her. So Megan was always the center of attention… good or bad.<P>Now in contrast Tammy is a golden child, beautiful, intelligent, fetching… she has it all. <P>There was a period in Tammy’s life, when she was about 7, that she became very despondent. It took a while but my sister finally got Tammy to open up. Tammy cried her eyes out about how the world had been so unfair to her. How her mother had been so unfair to her. After all, all she got were allergies and her sister got the hemangiona. The hemangiona made her sister special and she was just plain old Tammy.<P>All Tammy cared about was that it seemed that everyone loved Megan more because she needed more attention. And even if the world looked at her as a monster they were always looking at her.<P>I have to tell you the ending here. Hemangionas do tend to recede with age. Today at 15 there are only a few spots of it left on her nose.. Very small spots. She will get those removed in the next year. The only permanent physical harm she has suffered is the blindness in left eye. Her face and scalp are now covered in beautiful healthy skin and she is as much a knock out as her sister Tammy. The other affect it has had on her is that she is all personality. Instead of this horrid growth turning her bitter, she is a wonderful out going person…. A beautiful Lilly Tomlin comes to mind. She gets all the lead roles in her school plays and has started to do TV commercials. Just wanted you to know that she is more then OK. And so is Tammy because her parents responded very well when they realized how misplaces she felt.<BR><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare