Thought I would share this--<P>Dear H:<P>Happy Father's Day! You are a terrific dad. I have never met a man who so nurtures his children and who openly shows them affection.<P>I can't imagine how difficult everything must seem to you right now. I can't pretend to know what you are feeling.<P>I want to affirm that YOU don't have to FIX this MISTAKE. I believe what the pastor said in church yesterday, that WE have only to look to God for the answers. He will provide. He has been showing me the way and letting me know what changes I have had to make even before I found out about your A. I have faith that HE will see US through.<P>I love you unconditionally. I feel deep regret for any words or actions that contributed to you doubting my love and doubting how much I respect, admire and believe in you and your capabilities. You are, have been and will always be the man that I desire, the man I want, the man I need for a friend, a lover, a husband.<P>Love,<BR>M<P>Out of Crisis can come Opportunity. We don't know what's behind the door until we open it....

What a difference a day makes. <BR>Does this kind of stuff really make a difference. Why do my attempts to show him how I feel, to tell him what I believe seem so futile?<P>Is it just fantasy and madness...temporarity insanity, if you will. <P>Oh, that it be temporary and my words, my love will be felt by him again.<P>I miss him so much. I miss him kissing me. I miss him loving me. I feel sooo alone.

(((((Cali))))), Your letter was beautiful - did you give it to him? The loneliness is hard to bear, I know - but you are on the right path and I know you will get there someday.<P>hugs and peace,<BR>Paint.

Yes, I wrote it in his Father's Day card.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by StrongerInCali:<BR><B>Yes, I wrote it in his Father's Day card.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR> After D day (june 2000) I wrote my husband alot of mushy cards and stuff like you wrote above. It made him angry, the feeling being I should have been saying that stuff all along. He specifically told me that my cards were bull**** and if I wanted him to stay it would take alot more than some hallmark sentiments. (i.e. action) That was a very bitter time. Well anyway, a year has passed and we are doing great. So great that one night last week I could not sleep and wrote him an email love letter. It was about 3 am or so that I did that. He got it the next day and he loved it. He told me for days with a big grin, " You wrote me a love letter." It really made him happy. I believe that in the last 2-3 weeks we have truly returned to intimacy from conflict. So basically if you guys are still in conflict I dont think the words mean much. At least that is what I have learned from the situation here.<P>

Cali,<BR> that was beautiful. ((((((((((HUGS to you)))))))))))) . I really cannotthink of anything earth moving to say except, i have read a few things in here you write and you seem a person of wisdom and kindness. Have a blessed day!<BR>Maine<P>------------------<BR>In even the darkest of places there is a capacity to love