Well folks, I've been plan A-ing it alone for 2 LONG years now, gave hubby ultimatum a week ago, told him she goes or I go. Well he hemmed and hawed, then whined how unfair it was of me...yada yada yada. To make a long story short, he wanted to go to the gym tonight, I didn't want to, I had a blinding headache. I then discovered the OW would be there too. I told him there was NO way in H*** I'd let him go alone, so I got dressed to go. Needless to say he got an attitude about MY attitude, and said he didn't want to go to the gym with me. So of course mean things were said, and I decided to go alone (to the gym) anyway. Lo and behold the OW wasn't there...coincidence? He said he wasn't going to keep living with my bad attitude any longer, I'd better change. (this coming from the man that won't give up the OW's friendship). I told him I could just leave, and solve his problem. I came home from the gym to find that he had left instead.....I don't know whether to be mad, scared, sad or devestated! All of the above at the moment. What am I supposed to do now?!? He left me. He THEN called the OW and warned her to "watch her back", because I might tell the OW's H about the A. JEEZZZZZZ, you'd think after me keeping my mouth shut for 2 years they'd know better! I have no idea what to make of the situation, some of you might have read my earlier posts about my history.<P>I need some major help right now.<P>Scared in the sticks,<P>Cyn

Cyn, you are going to have to explain a thing for me please. FOR 2 years and he still has contact wiht this person, and HER spouse does not KNOW ANYTHING about it?? HOw is that possible. It seems noone is being honest here! First i so commend you for being that patient, but 2 years is a long time to wait for a change. Maybe a step into Plan B is in order for you. HE needs to stop having contact woiththe OP RIGHT NOW!! I am sorry i can not be a better help.<BR>Maine<P>------------------<BR>In even the darkest of places there is a capacity to love

Cyn;<P>Ditto to what was just said..you have been WAY too understanding. <P>My ususal thing is to remind you;<P>1. He chose the A, not you, right.<P>2. He chooses to continue to hurt you, not you (Unless you consider being patient all this time).<P>3. He is the one that will not come to terms with what it is doing to your M, not you right?<P>Who is the one with the bad attitude here? From what I see it is not you.<P>Are you sure the OH doesn't know???? If he doesn't, he should!<P>Hang in there, there is life on the other side of this and YOU WILL MAKE IT!

Thanks so much for your replies...no the OW's H does not know....he's a little psycho, and it wouldn't surprise me if he went "ballistic" if he found out and physically hurt someone. My H is well aware how much hurt his continued contact with the OW causes me, but he justify's it by saying they're just friends, nothing is going on, he doesn't dump his friends.<P>Soooo, instead of dumping the OW, (the root of our problems IMO) he leaves me for b****ing about the situation. It just doesn't make a lick of sense to me, of course it would make perfect sense if the A is still in progress <P>Thanks for your support y'all,<P>Cyn

lil, Dopes he know FRIENDS do not HAVE SEX??? Just keep strong and he really needs to have NO contact. You need to make afew life choices too. 2 years is a long time,. and if he is thinking OW is a FRIEND and he does not dump his friends, then it seems like he will not stop contact. And in my book and the BIBLE, the WIFE is to be treated as you would treat a church, and your friendship should be the MOST IMPORTANT TO HIM. Just my 2 cents and a big ((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))<BR>maine<BR><P>------------------<BR>In even the darkest of places there is a capacity to love

WoW!<P>I've been barely able to survive 2 mths of this, let alone 2 yrs.<P>I have a book recommendation for you: Dr. James Dobson--"Love Must Be Tough." He talks about situations that are very similar to yours. <P><BR>Good Luck.<P>Cali<BR>

Two years is way too long for Plan A in my opinion, I really don't think Harley would approve either. Take this opportunity to read about Plan B and make the move. Time to let him wake up and smell the coffee I would say!!<P>BTW- what is stopping you from telling her H? I would. I say kill the fantasy from both ends, but that is just an opinion and gut reaction, you know better than I the response it might bring.<P>{{{LilHick}}}<P>