Hi Everyone,<P><BR>I use to live there...seems like another lifetime ago. It brought back memories of who I use to be. I was so young, brave, strong, focused, and hopeful. That is not me anymore. I have given up hope in people. I found I still have people who come up to me on the street and baby me a bit. It seems strangers feel the need to take care of me. <P>If strangers feel compelled to be nice to me then why can the people who profess to love me cannot? In NYC people tend to only focus on what they need to get done or go...but several people were very nice and outgoing. Not to the entire group of us just to me. This has always happened my entire life. <P>I just think I need that person back. After all the affairs and emotional abuse I will never have wide eyed optimism in the human race like I did but one day I hope that I will not be so angry and bitter. <P>I am just glad I had the chance to see the old me. Plus I got to meet a few celebrities and at a show sit next to the Assistant buyer for Sacks! My little fashion diva inside of me was so happy to get a chance to know what was going on this year. <P>I just know I want me back...I hate who I have become from all this affair junk. <BR>

Then get yourself back - you can do it. I'm starting to find the 'real me' again, after many, many years. I started by writing 'stream of consciousness thoughts' in my journal - pages and pages of all sorts of stuff, whatever came into my head. Meditation, solitary walks, peace to think...and to heal. The other day I wrote a poem about myself - (my 'name' on some other websites is 'Aurora' - which relates to the 'real' me):<P>My heart is my own,<BR>My mind is my own,<BR>My body is my own,<BR>I have my own individual Spirit and Soul,<BR>I have Grace and Beauty inside me,<BR>I am Aurora,<BR>A New Dawn.<P>Just one look at this website is enough to restore my faith in human kindness...<P>Welcome back,<BR>Paint.<P>

HI <P>What an uplifting and GREAT FUN message!!!<P><B> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I just think I need that person back. After all the affairs and emotional abuse I will never have wide eyed optimism in the human race like I did but one day I hope that I will not be so angry and bitter. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>I agree with the sentiment... <P>...for me, it was that first yellow towel I bought for my bathroom ~ just a little something to remind me of ME, the girl who loved cheery yellow towels, but was too afraid to just buy one since they didn't match.<P>That one yellow towel reminded me that I was worth finding.<P>I'm glad you found YOU, Paha.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

Paintbox - That was such a lovely poem. Thank you so much for sharing it.<P>Hey Sheryl - How are you doing lately? <P><BR>I spent the day working on getting my business off the ground so to speak. I want to work for myself. It will be really hard but I think I can do it. I have a meeting with a business consultant on Monday to go over everyhthing I need to do paper work wise. <P>I also came up with a really great idea. I have to think of a way to sell it and me along with it. I have always had people steal my ideas and work I have done on them. Oh the life of corporate America. <P>Thank you Paint and Sheryl... for giving me corage to find me again. I have tried several times in the past and I would just be knocked back down again. This time I think it is different.