See my post out there under plan A B. My husband also feels like it's not right having sex with me he doesn't feel right because of his empty feelings. He the other day he said that he still thinks I'm beautiful, sexy, then we had a romantic kiss. He said he wanted to make love to me. Then he changed his wording and said have sex with me. But couldn't because of his feelings, he wants to but he doesn't want to hurt me. We had a good talk and I told him I think he's a great guy. He said someone else thinks he is too (OW). I told him we have been down this road for over 10 years and along the way we have created two other people (his Daughters) who care for him very much too. I don't want to just end this road. I have been told to just kick him out. They said I shouldn't be treated like this. But I just can't. I listened to a tape from Dr. Dobson and he even suggests a two weeks separation which is from his book "LOVE MUST BE TOUGH" I bought the book and started to read it last night. Over the last couple of weeks I have been hurt bad by my husband. He says I'm the one who made him have the affair. Then when he's nice to me the next day he said it was all fake. THis week finally he's starting to be alittle more decent. He said he's been faking it for over 6 years with me. He said he loves me but yet he hates me. He said that I gave him some emotional scars that he can't let go of. He's made me seem like I'm this evil wife. I'm not that way at all. I know there are things I have to work on to improve myself. I wrote them all down. There are two pages. I faxed them to Dr. Harley to have him help me on them. My H family life was normal, supportive, christian, very family oriented, close family, no disputes, his parents have a good marriage. Well my family was the opposite which he knew because we've know each other all our lives, same town same school.<P>Does anyone looking from the outside have any suggestions. I would like to get responses back from husbands who have felt like mine and what they did to get through it and not think divorce is the only option.<P>Thanks,<BR>LoveMEss

I'm not a husband, but how my husband acted and things he said sound exactly like yours. Plan A, Plan A, Plan A. It will take time, but show him how much you love him. I had a lot of things I needed to work on, and that is part of what Plan A is -- working on the things that led to this from your end.

How did you show your husband you loved him. It seems like the things I do draw my husband further away on some days. How is you marriage right now and how long did it take before you saw any hope. My husband thinks he will NEVER see any. He's kind of scared I think. All he continues to do is find a way to comfort his thought for divorce that it's okay. I know this has something to do with the OW. I agreed last night not to bring her up anymore. I told him I was going to forget about talking about her. He was actually relieved and said good. He said he's felt very guilty lately. But I know it's hard to break it off with her. I think he wants to but yet he doesn't because it will hurt him and her. He said to me a couple of days ago OW husband asked her to take him back. From what I heard about this woman she likes to conquer men and has to win. I don't know if this is a scheme to make my H not want to lose her. I'm scared. What would you do? LOVEMESS <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Janie:<BR><B>I'm not a husband, but how my husband acted and things he said sound exactly like yours. Plan A, Plan A, Plan A. It will take time, but show him how much you love him. I had a lot of things I needed to work on, and that is part of what Plan A is -- working on the things that led to this from your end. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>