My wife works selling new homes. She moved out last November. Even this spring she pretended to prospective new homeowners that she still lived here (works in our neighborhood - builder for our house). I actually covered for her a few times when she sent someone over to look our house, just for ideas.<P>Someone just came to the door with a present for her, for "all her help". I was in process of putting touches on Plan B letter. Went to door, and when they asked if she was "home", I said "no, well, actually she doesn't live here anymore". I met this lady before, when my wife was playing "family".<P>She said "oh no, I'm shocked". I replied, "it was a shock to me too". She babbled for a minute, clearly unsure what to say next.<P>She said "I'm so sorry", to which I replied "I am too, and it isn't an exciting event".<P>She said "I hope it works out" and I replied, "I do too".<P>Should I have kept my mouth shut, and yet again, just said thank you and took the gift?<P>It just kind of slipped out. Probably about to turn into an LB.<P>What do I say if she calls me mad at what I said?<P><p>[This message has been edited by Rick37 (edited June 27, 2001).]

Rick:<P>Apologetic for the truth? Apologetic for having to cover for her lame-a$$ business conduct. I don't think so.<P>So if approached about it, don't LB, just tell it honestly, just as you did here. If she has a problem with it, perhaps the fog will lift a little.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

Rick,<P>That was one slippery LB. Hey they slip out sometimes. You know I did that. Told the repair guy, told the phone company, told his creditors, told the internet provider, told the neighbors, told our sons's school/teacher/day care, etc. <P>Hm...... it's ok. That is part of the consequences of her decision to move out. Eventually some of this smelly stuff has to come up. Better sooner than later. So it brings a piece of the ugly reality out. Don't be ashamed of it. It was not your doing. Hiding and covering for her is your doing and if you choose not to do it any more then so be it. <P>Feel better??!?!?! <P>L.<BR>

I had a very wise boss one time that said that anger ALWAYS has to go somewhere. Kind of like a river that must flow down hill to its outlet. And like me, I'm willing to bet your's seems to "leak out" gradually for the most part. Afterall, consider the timing.<P>Personally, considering what YOU NEED out of your wife right now (total honesty) I do not believe that you need to apologise for the truth. Covering for your wife in the past may have been a good Plan A strategy, but it also aids and abets her own deception of herself. Simply say "Dear, I just told her the facts." Leave it at that. Stay strong.<P><BR>

I get annoyed that my WH hasn't told many people he's moved out - so I get all his mail, his phone calls etc. I just tell anyone that calls 'Sorry, Mr.X doesn't live here any more..' then hang up. I refuse to take messages or to act as his secretary! - and I keep ALL his mail for him, so he has to sort out the junk stuff himself!<P>Paint.

I just came back from the grocery store. Thank you for the quick replies. One can always depend on some very quick support on here. I feel better about it...was kind of resenting what I said right after I said it.

O, were that was all I had done....<P>You look like a saint compared to me today. Though, nice to hear others responses...I was wondering what to say next week after H has moved out....<P><BR>Cali

<shaking head, but slightly smiling> Cali, Cali, Cali ...<P>Cali/Rick ... prayers and thoughts for both,<BR>Godspeed,<BR>STL

That was an LB? Didn't seem like a very big one to me. Don't worry about it, it'll probably never get back to her anyway, and if it does, what did you do? Tell the truth? SHAME ON YOU!!! <P>BTW, I just put my H's mail in the mailbox for him to sort through, call up his voicemail and press play on the answering machine and "transfer his messages". Anyone that asks "Where's H?" I just say "at work". I do this because one of my H's biggest fears is that EVERYONE knows and it would be impossible for him to live with that if he came back. (That was more for Cali than you Rick - sorry for intruding on your post).

OK, if she asks about it just say that you opened your mouth and those words fell out. You don't know what came over you.(could have been those worm things you and WAT talk about).<BR>Then, of course, hang your head between your tail and apologize.......<P>Thats only if she calls you on it. <BR>

Is this a love buster? Telling the truth in a calm, collected manner is never a love buster. Though the average WS might think so. No one, even your wife should put you in a position to lie for them. If you tell a lie to cover for your WS, then you become part of the problem.<P>Remember, radical honesty.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

NSR once accused me of having "unabashed honesty." The truth will set us free.<P>Sure, she'll be pissed if she hears about it. It's a sign of her shame. Does this mean you shouldn't have said it or should apologize? Absolutely not.<P>WAT