Yesterday I had a counseling session with Steve. He said going through this with airline pilots is tough. We went through a lot of stuff, and am not sure if knows that this is H 5th affair. I can't remember if we talked about that. He asked what I wanted and suggested staying with Plan A. Confusion is great. <BR> Well, last night my young son had a baseball game. When it was over we called on the cell phone to tell him how it went. Hubby was cool on the phone at first and then seemed more like his own self. He had left here two days earlier and hadn't called since he left. He also left early on Sunday, I am assuming because he had to get back to her. Anyway, he proceded to tell me that he had written me an e-mail. I read it when I got home. Get this on how he is justifying his whole affair......it has to do with me being Scandinavian and of course genetically we don't have the same needs as he does. How bizarre!! I laughed, but he is serious. He attacked my family up upbringing and said that I don't take responsibility for my behavior. He also said that I never apologize, I blame others for my mistakes,etc....etc. (I thought he was the one who had had 5 affairs!)<BR>Anyway, today I went to see a counselor in a nearby city. We talked for 2 1/2 hours. I showed her some of the mail he has been sending me and she asked how I could have stood this emotional abuse for 25 years. She really feels that he sociopathic because he doesn't show long lasting remorse for his behavior. With his drinking, temper outbursts, and women issues, she said he probably won't ever change and he expects me to be there to pick up the pieces. You know he always has justified how he has treated me. How sad. I guess I really have allowed this to try to keep my family together. Perhaps this really is time for this to end. I have been there for him through his AF career, raised 4 neat kids and tried to make our life normal. Why do I feel like a failure then? I will miss a lot of our marriage. He has been so incredibly cruel though. Perhaps this is God's way of providing me an out. How heartbreaking.

miserynmissouri<P>{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}<P>I am so sorry that you need to be here. You have been through a lot. A lot that you do not deserve.<P>RE: "Perhaps this is God's way of providing me an out."<P>Perhap it is. I am a very strong propondent of marriages but it seems from your post that you don't feel there is any reason to go on. Have you thougth about moving to Plan B so that he will see what life is like with out you?<P>If you do choose to leave your marriage, send the OW a large bouquet of roses with a note thanking her for providing you with the final bit of evidence that your husband would never stop cheating. Express your sympathy for what you know she will have to endure with him.<P>Is this bizzare advice? Don't know that you should follow it. For me it would be tempting. When I first heard this suggested I thought it was odd too. But then, after reflection, it made me realize the place my XH's OW played in my life. I could not hate her anymore. I had pitty for her that she was so used.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

MNM:<P>Re: it has to do with me being Scandinavian and of course genetically we don't have the same needs<P>Alien expression of the week is getting some stiff competition.<P>Protect yourself first, your kids second, and -- if it is your desire -- your marriage third.<P>Tragically, I have seen this happen all too many times in military, and retired military families.<P>My thoughts and prayers for you,<BR>Godspeed,<BR>STL