Do any of you BS in some form of recovery ever feel forgotten by your WS? Kind of that feeling like you just are not making the top 5 list of their list any more. <P>My wife, former(I think) WS had a LD affair (@ least 1 yr.) with her boss when she traveled for business. During that time the dog and cat were more likely to bump me off the top 10 list. Now that we're 1 year into "recovery" she still forgets about me when traveling. Not all the time, but fairly regularly... things like following.<P>Last weeks trip (same job, same place), I called her early afternoon to tell her I had a babysitter and was going to buddies house to watch Monday night football. She said "OK real busy right now…I'll call you later tonight" 1 AM rolls around and still no call. I call her cell and she's a sleep. Just told her I wanted to say good night and didn’t want to wait up any longer for her call. She says "I didn’t call because you were out watching game & I'm tired right now I'll talk to you in the morning" No big deal, I'm not upset at all. In general, a pleasant conversation. I get up early the next morning for her call and the morning comes and goes without a call. She finally calls me @ about 6pm. We have the normal how was your day thing and all the time I'm waiting to see if she will even acknowledge the fact that she was supposed to call and didn't. Nothing. So when she was ready to say good bye, I tell her that it really bothers me that she doesn't even mention anything about blowing me off 2 consecutive times. She gets defensive about being me being over critical. After some more not so nice conversation, I end it with "just don’t make promises if you don't plan on following through or acknowledging one that was missed.<P>This week she stayed in town long enough to see the kids first day of school on Tuesday. Very cool, big change from last year. She has a flight 1.5 hours after school pick-up time and the schools on the way to the airport, So we agree to drive 2 cars to a kids restaurant close to the school. Drop 1 off 1 car, get the kids from school and return to the restaurant to let her spend some time with the kids before leaving. All good. We leave the house and I tell her I'll meet her in the restaurant parking lot. I get to the restaurant, park my car, and watch her blow by the place on the cell phone. I call her cell (call-waiting shows my cell phone) and leave message about she forgot me. A few minutes later she returns my call and says she was just busy talking and forgot.<P>It just appears that when she travels it is "out of sight out of mind". We've spoke about this several times before and it still continues. I understand business travel, I used to do it quite a bit, but nothing and I mean nothing would ever prevent me from letting my wife know she was on my mind. On the rare occasion that I did forget, I felt bad and would tell her immediately.<P>Last night when we spoke I told her how much it hurts to feel forgotten about when she travels (same old story). This time I added something more that’s been on my mind and in my heart for some time but never really said out right. I told her that I know she is busy when away working (oh yea we're talking about non-office time after 6pm) but that I have had the unfortunate burden of seeing how she acts when separated by distance from someone she cares about when traveling (the OM). Calls 5 - 6 times a day, text messaging flirtatious things, emails, etc. I asked her when is it my turn. All she could tell me is "I'm sorry you feel that way" then good night. I know this is a LB for her, but I couldn't keep it in any longer<P><BR>I'm starting to feel like my kids (4 & 6) when they start jumping up and down and screaming "look at me!!!, Over here!!, I want attention!" I can also tell my Taker is now in overdrive.<P>Have any of you ever felt this way. What did you do to get past it? Any other opinions?<BR>
