has anyone ever hired a private investigator and found that your spouse was NOT having an affair??? (at the time) I am at my wit's end. My H had a 3+ yr affair and I think maybe it might still be going on but no way to find out. He will not EVER confess anything without evidence. If he is it is plan B for me........ Opinions?????

I've never done this...my thoughts run more to electronic surveillance, although I think it's not needed anymore in my case.<P>I've often said that I'm convinced most WSs are possessed by the spirit of Bill Clinton--able to look you in the eye and lie convincingly. You just can't tell. The best bet is the demeanor of your spouse to you. If they are obviously in love, it's unlikely that they are involved currently with another. If not clearly in love with you, it's hard to say what they're doing.<P>It's hard to offer an opinion without knowing more. Have you read the basic materials on this site? If so, and if you've done a good Plan A for 4-6 months it may be time for Plan B <B>if</B> there is continued contact. Does your H agree in theory with no contact?<P>Steve

situation:<BR>H seems obviously in love with me..... but, he always did. It's kind of a split personality thing. He is very loving and affectionate and we get along very well. He has agreed to no contact but has before as well. I have done plan A for more than 6 months. I just get the "feeling" sometimes that something may be going on. No proof. I could be wrong. He is never obvious. He does not go out with the boys or have plans on his days off that do not include me. he does not come home late from work. He has never been gone all night. The ONLY time he has to have any contact is during work hours. But that has always been the case. They used to use the Internet but I have software that tracks his use and he is not having contact that way. I have no way to track his phone at work. He can use any number of phones...... If it's going on the only contact is the work phone (I check his cell bill always) and lunch breaks.... He has no regular lunch time, he is a manager so he can disappear for an hour or two with no one to question it. any suggestions?