Good morning All,<P>Here is an email I composed to my H, in hopes he will leave me alone. Ryan is OC and I've had a relationship with him as his step mom for 4+ years. Ryan's mom has full custody. My H only has visitation rights.<P>Can you guys pls critique this and tell me if I'm being to harsh and also if I'm getting the point across. I certainly don't want to offend H, else he may use his influence to stop my visitations with Ry altogether.<P>Thanks and God Bless,<BR>Jo<P>*************************************************<BR>Steve,<P>In our past several conversations I have stated that our contact must end. I feel there is no valid or legitimate reason we should be in contact. My visitations with Ryan are quite seldom and somewhat infrequent, and I have always coordinated them with Helga and Deb, and will continue to do so. If there is ever a scheduling conflict regarding Ryan, as his father, your time will always take priority. I will only coordinate visits with Ryan if he is available, meaning he has no other plans. <P>In the future I ask you to please respect my wishes and cease all forms of contact with me. As I had explained to you several times, Divorce means FINAL. <P>In the unlikely event there should be an emergency when Ryan is in my care, I will notify Debbie, you and Helga immediately, in that order. Conversely, if there is an urgent reason you need to contact Ryan when in my care, contact with me is then warranted.<P>Thank you for understanding,<BR>Joanne<P><P>------------------<BR>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"

Hi Jo,<P>Well the e-mail content is direct and to the point. But if you are going to block all his avenues of response how will he contact you in case of an emergency? <P>Just my question. <P>L. <BR>

Jo,<BR>Sounds professional and to the point - better job than I could have done.<P>Glad Orchid thought of the block.<P>Good luck, aftershock

Jo,<P>Ditto the other ladies. I bow to their wisdom. Good Luck.

Jo,<P>It looks great.

Jo, I apologize for taking so long to respond. Either my connection or the forum or both have been unreliable.<P>After re-reading it several times, my only thought is whether you should be a bit more open as to why you want the contact to stop. Maybe the others have already considered this point and didn't think it was necessary, but maybe they didn't.<P>Perhaps you could say, "In the future, I ask you to please respect my wishes and cease all forms of contact with me. As I have said before, I considered our divorce to be the final point of our relationship. To have continued contact with you, even infrequently, only brings up unpleasant memories and causes me a lot of discomfort."<P>By not saying this, your message may be received as just plain mean or vindictive.<P>Dave

Thank you everyone; Orchid, Aftershock, Sing and K,<P>You guys are the best ever!<P>*I changed this sentence a bit to explain more why contact is not feasible for me.<P>*******************************<BR>In the future I ask you to please respect my wishes and cease all forms of contact with me *as it is too hurtful*. And, as I have explained to you several times, Divorce means FINAL. <BR>*******************************<P><BR>Now, I'll send this and see what happens. What I expect is push back from him stating I participate in his son's life and he has a right to talk with me. He is such an [censored]!<P>Seems like I've been battling this same subject for so long. It may just end up where I will have to stop seeing Ry. That would be even sadder to me than the D.<P>Jo

YES Dave!<P>You're so right. I'll change that sentence and plagiarize what you said, if thats okay. <P>Thank you, Dave.

Sure, but only if you insert the word "scumbag" at the appropriate spot.

Isn't it interesting how we can see too much "sterness" in letters and emails when reviewing someone else's words to their spouse, but we don't recognize it in our own.<P>Just an observation.<P>Jo

Good job, Jo. Practically perfect I agree with Dave....his point is very valid. I see that you've thought the same. Hopefully, you'll get the peace that you deserve.<P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>