Yesterday he came to see the girls. My mother left for a dinner date with my aunts...so all seemed to go really really well. I mentioned taking the girls somewhere to get them something to eat...he agreed. He drove...and we took them their favorite place.....20 miles away. He shared some of my food with me and we shared a coke. We then came home and we all sat around...played....just like old times.<BR>He was his usual joking self.<BR>He left for a little bit to go get our oldest daughter a new volleyball and when he came back I had the 2 little ones in the tub....when they got out he got them dried off and dressed.<BR>When he was leaving he waited at the door as usual wanting me to walk him out.....I did...we talked for a few minutes and then he left. Great day all in all.<P>Well...and I'm actually embarassed to tell you this.....but today I went to get some help financially. My gas has been shut off for a while....he knows....and we have been surviving....not normally though. I have been looking for a job but we live in a really small town.....my truck uses alot of gas....and I have no experience at anything. <BR>I've had to apply for food stamps....because he isn't giving me as much money anymore as he used to.<BR>He called today and I wasn't home. He then called my cell phone. I was in the office talking to Human Services about getting my gas turned back on. He just let's me have it.....so...what are you getting free now? You've been lying to me all this time.<BR>I'm like.......what the hell are you talking about?<BR>He said.....you've had $400 in the bank for 2 weeks now....what's that for? You told me it was for bills. I said...you're right...I put it in there to pay the gass bill remember....and then they told me I would have to pay a depsoit and I didn't have enough to pay for it so I left it there until I had the full amount to get it turned back on. If I wanted to blow it on something I wouldn't have let it sit there for 2 weeks in the bank now would I?<BR>I then went on to ask him how come he took $233 out of it the other day....when he knew that it was there for bills and didn't say a word to me about it. I guess you're the one lying.<P>He then went on to say that someone told him that I have already been recieving food stamps and this and that....and wanted to know why I'm taking so much money from him if I'm getting all this assistance. I went on to tell him that I wasn't receiving anything YET...and if he wanted to confirm that all he had to do was call up there.<P>He gave me a total of $290 (he makes 4 times this much)to last me 2 weeks......I have to pay bills, get groceries, and get through the next 2 weeks in gas with this money......when actually....he only gave me $60 because he withdrew $230 out of the bank and didn't tell me.<P>At this point I am standing out in the parking lot trying to explain myself to him...when I get a surge of anger....and I say.....how the hell can you do this to me. I'm trying to get my life in order....you've put me in this situation...I did not do this to myself.....I'm trying to provide for OUR daughters because you've decided not to. You humiliate me by cheating on me over and over and now you call me when you know I'm at a certain place and you start *****ing me out about it? I've had to swallow my pride to come here and ask for help and yet you humiliate me again by doing this to me.<P>He apologized.....I said whatever....and hung up on him.<P>What nerve this man has....to accuse me of stealing money from him.....when he's the one stealing money that he gave me to provide for his children and then calling me and embarassing me even more.<P>I'm so over this.

MP,<BR>I feel terrible for you. He is being so abusive, and for what? What is this getting him anyway? And, you being so strong, in Plan A, trying to do the right thing. If you have no job; he's put you here, you have no recourse but to receive everything you can. Even the $$ from him is really for the children - clothes, food - money doesn't go very far. <P>I know this is hard on you, making decisions, what to do? Hard situation. You will have to survive the way you can. Hind sight twenty/twenty. I can't say don't let him make you feel that way - self esteem as it is - you will have to make up your own mind to be tough. I feel bad you have to deal with his back and forth. FOG - they can't see.<P>How much longer can you stay in Plan A? You get a job to support the girls, and I know how hard this will be on you. Thank goodness you have your Mom close. If H doesn't start maturing and seeing the magnitude of this situation he will regret someday. <P>I don't know how I can make you feel better in this - I am here if you need to vent. Am so sorry you are going through this! love, aftershock

This is such BS! He needs to be paying you child support. If you can't afford a lawyer go to Legal Aid and get the process started. Even in Plan A you need to protect yourself and your kids legally/financially.<P>I don't know what state you are in but some states CT for example have special legal aid programs for SAHM> Check out <A HREF="http://www.divorcenet.com." TARGET=_blank>www.divorcenet.com.</A> In some states they have lists of attorneys who work pro-bono. <p>[This message has been edited by KalGrl (edited August 23, 2001).]

I forgot to mention that again I was threatened with divorce. I was told at first that in a few weeks I would be served and then he told me by the 31st.<P>He also never did call last night to talk to the girls. It's the first time in over a month and a half that he hasn't called them.<P>I'm so sick of this game he's playing....let him file...at least then I will know it's over for good. Once he divorces me....there are no more chances.<P>I'm ready to move on. He isn't someone that I like at all anymore.<P>