W just called and asked if I would pick her up and take her to work. I started Plan B today. What do I do? Need to know ASAP!!!!

Paul are serious about plan B? if you are then say no. If you are serious and don't want to go in to plan B then say yes. But you will be right back where you were. Is that what you want? She is testing you. I can't make this decision for you no one can. BUt think about what you went to plan B and what you want. {{{HUGS}}}<BR>Tell me what you decide.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

This is going to break your heart Paul...<P>Don't do it! <P>She has to know life without you!!!<P>Be strong man...<P>God will take of her needs too...<BR>But only when she accepts His will...<BR>And then and only then, can you start contact again.<P>I know you didn't want to hear this... <BR>but I (and the rest will concur)... are telling this for your own good... <P>When my time comes for Plan B (after the holidays)... I want all of you to bang me over the head 70x7 times... so I do what I preach! Paul... this is gentle banging on your noggin now... <P>Jim<BR>---<BR>By your side!<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited November 10, 1999).]

Hi Paul,<P>I totally agree with SDS. I know it will be hard. We want to do all we can for them but, if she knows of your Plan B and you've sent the letter of no contact then she is testing you.<P>What ever you choose we will be here to pray and help you.<P>{{{{{{{{PAUL}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

Have you given her the plan B letter? If so then you can not do it!! If the letter hasn't been given to her, maybe today is the day....<P>Its real hard, but it has to be done....<P>cozy

Did she understand the letter?<P>Keep your response short & sweet. Sorry, I can't. Just tell her to read the letter.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

dont do it!<BR>she needs to know life without paul- there are consequences for every action- good and bad.<P>let us know what you decided ( hopefully, its not after you took her to work)

what is this letter you talk about. I'm thinking about plan B, but I dont know if I can do it. The main thing my W ask of me is to come over and visit with the kids, and when she needs money. <P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<BR>

Paul Where are You??? I hope you aren't taking her to work. Let me know what you decided. I have to start getting ready for work in 15 min. and I have to leave in an hour pleas respond. I don't want to have to wait till late to night to find out.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Success # 1. I didn't take her, told her I couldn't.<P>Failure # 1. I talked on the phone with for 45min. AAAGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!<P>Thanks for helping me not go though.

Paul,<P>If it makes you feel any better, my first week of Plan B was pockmarked by failures. Lovebusters aplenty. Too much contact.<P>But do as I say... not as I did...<P>Don't sweat it.<P>

Paul, you did the right thing by not taking her to work. You are going to have to be strong, though, and cut the phone calls to business- short and sweet. Congrats on your strength not to see her.

No failure you took one step forward. Keep it up. Hopefully it was a good conversation. Now for the second step no more conversation with her. Be nice but firm "Thanks for calling but I can't talk right now." No love busting but she will get the picture. {{{HUGS}}}} You did good!!!!<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Actually she talked I listened, she talked mostly about her trying to figure out how should could leave OM. But kept throwing in the "you seem different today vs last night"<P>Is she trying to manipulate me? What is going on???!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She probably afraid of what you're doing and wondering what to expect. But she should know exactly what to expect because you put it on the letter. Now she is "forced" into making a decision. And NOT making a decision is still making one.<P>Right now the ball is in her court. Don't worry about it.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Congratualtions Paul <P>Be gald for your successes...<BR>You didn't take her to work!!!!<P>Don't think that the phone conversation was a total failure... check my very long reply to your "I told my Wife goodbye last night, I have Plan B questions" post on "falling down".<P>It was just one of many "falls" you'll take. You can get back up on your feet and try with more resolve the next time!<P>It is going to take some time for you to break this contact... don't be hard on yourself... I'm not going to be hard on you! <P>Say to yourself... <BR>I can do this now....<BR>I can do this now....<BR>I can do this now....<P>If you don't do it now... you'll slip into months and even longer of agony... with your W still living in the OM's trailer... and your sons still wondering where is mommy!<P>Like the others have said... next time you <B>really have</B> to talk with her... make it short and sweet (ah... cross out the "sweet")... and remind her about the Plan B letter... and no more words!<P>Be strong Paul...<BR>Don't let her drag you down the "wrong" path...<BR>Stay by His side!<P>Love and once again congratulations!<P>Jim

Alright Chris, this better get easier. I'm sitting here drumming my fingers on my desk constantly. Plus I've had to hit my backspace key so many times because my mind is going faster than my fingers that I'm about to break it! Don't sweat it, ok, I'll repeat that over and over.<P>NSR:Thanks again for the "reminders". My path is solid, I have God before me. Right now my struggle is not with Satan (or maybe it is) my struggle is between my mind and my heart. My heart will not let go (she knows this) but my mind knows I must.