My H and I have been separated a little over a month now. We went to our first counseling session last week and he told the counselor that he is confused and isn't sure if he wants to come back or not. He said he is going to counseling to help him make this decision. I am trying everything I can to make him want to come back and I know that I should just leave well enough alone and back off. He said if he wanted a divorce he would have said so but what I'm confused about is if you aren't sure if you want to come back or not then why would he say he doesn't want a divorce. We had problems in our marriage, no cheating, just no communication and many arguments. He said I caused stress in his life and that's why he left. He said he likes his freedom right now. All I want to do is not give up on our marriage. I have realized that in order for this marriage to work, I have to work on myself first and resolve my inner problems that I have within the marriage. I have been doing that and all I want is a chance to prove myself. I just don't understand my H. What should I do, continue going to counseling so he can make his decision. To me it doesn't seem like he is going to want to make this marriage work but to make a decision for him. How can counseling do that?

Anyone have any opinions, comments? They would be greatly appreciated.

How old is your H? It sounds like he may be going through a mid-life crisis. Just work on yourself, and try to be the best person you can be. Also, if you are in counseling, continue with that. It will help you no matter what the outcome of your marriage. You might also want to read "The Power of a Praying Wife". Many times, if your H feels like you are okay without him, it makes him want you more. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Thank you for replying. My H just turned 30 in May and I turned 30 in June. I was wondering the same thing if he is going through a mid-life crisis because now that he is gone and living at his parents, he is spending alot of time with his friends. People tell me that it will get old and he will realize that his marriage is more important. I can only hope that's true. He just tells me right now he isn't coming back yet. I guess time will tell.