I need some help. I have had a year long affair with a married physician. I have noticed that he is starting to pull away and call less. He still tells me that he loves me and misses me but I think it is over. How can I begin to pull away from him.

Welcome!<P>I probably can't help you much since I'm on the other side of the situation. The best advice I can give you is to cut all ties with this doctor. Do not talk to him or write him. Tell him you feel you should no longer have any contact with him. That's about the best advice I can give you. You will find plenty of advice on this site. You may want to try the recovery board also. There aren't quite as many people in there usually, but they have made it past the affairs.<P>dumplin

Hi hismile,<BR>Could I ask how the afair with the doctor started? I want to know this information since some doctor was also interested in my wife.It would help me the BS understand the reason why affairs happen so maybe some preventative steps can be taken. Thank you. If you don't want to post publicly I don't mind to ask you privately about this. <P>To solve your situation you must do a complete stop of all contact. There deosn't seem to be a future in it for you or the doctor. It seems he wants to break away now. Perhaps he is now guilty and thinking about his wife. Probably he has mixed feelings but the feelings are not strong enough to keep the relationship going with you. He is trying to get out of the realtioship and hopes there will be nothing negative that will affect his life. You could make it difficult for him and he hopes you won't.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rodger:<BR><B>Hi hismile,<BR>Could I ask how the afair with the doctor started? I want to know this information since some doctor was also interested in my wife.It would help me the BS understand the reason why affairs happen so maybe some preventative steps can be taken. Thank you. If you don't want to post publicly I don't mind to ask you privately about this. <P>To solve your situation you must do a complete stop of all contact. There deosn't seem to be a future in it for you or the doctor. It seems he wants to break away now. Perhaps he is now guilty and thinking about his wife. Probably he has mixed feelings but the feelings are not strong enough to keep the relationship going with you. He is trying to get out of the realtioship and hopes there will be nothing negative that will affect his life. You could make it difficult for him and he hopes you won't.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I meet him while I was at a conference. He was very charming and before I knew it I was in a heated affair. I am not emotionally involved with him and he is pulling away. When I don't call him for awhile, he calls me. It is like he knows that I am pulling away and he dosen't want me to. Do I owe him an explanantion for not calling or should I just stop returning any calls he may make?

hismile<P>MB teaches the concept of "no contact" to end affairs. This is usually accomplished be writing a "no contact letter". I even have a version of it on my computer at home for use by the OW/OM (Other woman/man). I'll pass it along tonight. The idea is that you write him a letter that says you do not ever want to hear from him again.<P>It would also be a very good idea for you to let his wife know about the affair if she does not already. She has the right to know what is happening in her life.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare