Article from “I-Village” with my (alright, synical) perspective for married ladies in quotations – some of my experiences with W. Alright, to ask to limit these activities is being too controlling. Do we pretend they don’t exist?? I sometimes feel I am being played for a fool??<P>20 Ways to Start a <BR>Red-Hot Romance <P>Summer days are longer, nights are hotter, and love is in the air. But how do you find the romance you're dreaming of? Start a fun fling or a long-lasting love affair with this list of tips from top experts and other women just like you. Warning: be prepared for a a summer of love that you'll never forget! <BR>1. Bring in the new: "Throw a 'new blood' party with friends. Everyone has to bring someone new, someone your friends don't already know." --Robin Gorman Newman, aka the Love Coach and author of How to Meet a Mensch in New York <BR>2. Go dateless: "Instead of whining about not having a date, go places by yourself. Be secure in yourself and all else will follow. Someone at a summer event or party is going to see you and think, 'Wow, I wish I had her courage and confidence.' And that will lead you to greater things. I went to the movies alone (it was relaxing), to my class reunion alone (made quite the impression), and to a beach party alone, which is where I met Mr. Right -- the party was at his house!" --iVillager eire2728 “Lots of trips to flea markets, antiquing & swimming pool fit nicely into this category”<BR>3. Have fun: "Have you ever heard the saying 'You'll meet someone when you least expect it?' It's true, it will happen when it happens. In the meantime, have fun doing things for you. Go out with friends, have one too many and laugh a little too loud. Who knows, maybe the laughter will catch someone's eye." --iVillager babysoqt24 ‘ ”One to many is something we learn early on (making a couple announcements that you have had too many adds to this spice) & the laugh too loud falls into getting attention nicely”<BR>4. Get comfortable: "Remember, you have to be at peace with yourself before someone is going to be comfortable with you. When you like yourself, people will clamor to date you. You'll have so many men you won't know what to do." --iVillager eire2728 “Being Miss congeniality at parties -- open, friendly conversing attitude works really well here & don’t get trapped by hanging with your Husband – key is to meet & get to know new people.”<BR>5. Ban the bar scene: "You don't have to deal with the bar and club scene if you don't want to. Buy a magazine and visit a local coffee shop or restaurant. Browse bookstores. Sit back, relax, read and look around. If you like art, visit an art gallery (and enjoy the AC!). Being single doesn't have to hold you back." --iVillager taxigal “Key here again is to be on the move –out and about by yourself of course helps – but what’s wrong with some innocent dancing at the bar with girl friends? Or touching other guy on arm with a wink – innocent fun, huh??”<BR>6. Have no regrets: "Make plans in advance this summer. Don't regret not having anything to do." --Sherry Amatenstein, iVillage's Dating Doyenne<BR>7. Go online: "I started using a couple of those Internet dating services, and it's actually working. After I rejected several interested men, I began emailing this guy that I have a lot in common with. We started talking on the phone and really liked each other, so now we are dating. It has been four dates so far and going good." --iVillager rave007 “Getting Own email address a must here and good start to the independence thing!”<BR>The perfect place to start your personals search? The Online Dating Center <BR>8. Make new friends: "Make an effort to make some new women friends. That way, you'll have more people to go out and do things with." --iVillager potatocakes “Evening with Young attractive free spirit person, with reputation to fool around (even though married!) would be excellent choice here! (A Friday night in April of 2000)” <BR>9. Read up: "I have read several books on being a single person. Most of them have been a tremendous help. You may want to give some of them a try: The Art of Living Single by Michael Broder, Women Living Single by Lee Reilly, Being Single In A Couples' World by Xavier Amador and Living Alone and Liking It by Lyn Shahan." --iVillager jiselle “She read that having condoms in the car to take some responsibility is a good (safe) thing to do, so she did that.”<BR>10. Be bold: Believe in your dream of meeting someone wonderful and show that you really believe by taking action. Go to the party, chat and, if you meet someone special, consider inviting him out for a cup of coffee. It is the 21st century! -- Marcia Wieder, America's Dream Coach and author of Making Your Dream Come True “Show independence at parties & whenever out –hang out at the bar with others – dance with someone new & by all means don’t cling to Husband – let others see that you have freedom & independence!” <BR>11. Use all the right moves: "When trying to meet Mr. or Ms. Right, you need to keep in mind the three rights: right place, right time, right attitude. Without all of those, your efforts will probably be in vain. You need to put yourself in the right place -- a place where the odds will truly be in your favor. The right time means that when you do meet someone, you have to want the same thing at the same time. Otherwise, it won't work. The right attitude means you have to stay positive and open-minded. No one wants to date someone with the wrong attitude." -- Robin Gorman Newman<BR>12. Be proactive: "Being 33 and single is sometimes tough. People ask 'Why aren't you married? ... blah blah blah.' I found myself focusing on 'poor me' until I decided to do something about it. I joined a mountain biking group and a singles outdoor activity club. Try it; what do you have to lose? Believe me, you will feel better just knowing you are doing something to change your life." --iVillager funbiz “Group Ski Lessons (w/o Hubby of course!) good example”<BR>13.Pet-sit: If your friends are going away over the summer, offer to take their dog for a day or two. I have a dog who sleeps over a couple of times a year, eats her kibble in a bowl of my chicken soup, polishes off those old rinds of cheese and never forgets me between visits. Short of a trip to the pound and the long-term commitment of adoption, pet-sitting is cheap, unconditional love. - Elinor Lipman, author of The Ladies' Man: A Novel <BR>14.Get personal: "I have at least five friends who have met their spouses and spouses-to-be through personal ads. Where I live it's a really popular way to meet other singles, since we're in a rural area and everyone lives far apart. Placing or answering a personal ad is a great way to meet people, especially for the over-30 crowd who don't have the desire to mingle in bars." --iVillager potatocakes <BR>15.Start a recycling (men) program: "Throw a 'leftover guy' party. Ask everyone invited to bring a dish and a dishy guy. It doesn't have to be a formal Saturday-night type thing; you can make it a casual brunch or backyard barbecue instead." --Sherry Amatenstein, iVillage's Dating Doyenne <BR>16. Be a blind date queen: "If people say they have the 'perfect friend for you,' let them set you up." --iVillager eire2728 <BR>17.Shop till you drop: "Think of shopping as a great way to meet men. It is a great way to get out there, be seen and meet new people. The best department to browse? Men's!" --Dr. Joan Irvine, author of Recipes for Hot Sex “Continual, long trips to mall are a way of life here”<BR>18. Join up: "Join a club devoted to one of your hobbies or interests. It's a great way to meet both men and women." --iVillager potatocakes “Group Ski Lesson a good start!”<BR>19.Take up golf: "I've heard it works to go to a certain type of place to meet a certain type of man. For example, if you like musicians, go to concerts or music festivals; if you want to meet a businessman, try taking up golf." --iVillager rave007 “Hanging out at clubhouse bar (waiting for Husband & friends) a rush – see ole friend (B--- and meet new ones – J--- (can’t ignore friendly conversation with a guy, don’t want to be rude)”<BR>20. Make the first move: "Make Sadie Hawkins your patron saint and reach out to the man who makes you quiver. Real men love women who make the first move." --Susan Deitz “Don’t be afraid to make lots of phone calls to solicit attention & follow-up visits or dates.”<P>Just something to think about ...<BR>HH
