Cali & BR,<P>Point taken! I will wait - besides, I don't want my kids to see that just yet. I will wait for God to work his miracles. The miracles will be one of two: either H will fall on his face and come back, or God will put someone in my life that is everything I've wanted and waited for.<P>I'll wait, and trust!<P>Thanks for the support!<BR>TIG

Do what YOU feel is right. I think its a personal decision. I know its hard after being married for a period of time but just because you go out with someone doesnt mean your gonna have sex and sleep with them. Im a man who was married for 14yrs. Wife was the W/S. Have i been out on any dates? No. The fact is Im kinda scared to ask someone out. It might be the fear of rejection. Now I have gone out with friends for drinks and dinner. Have been out by myself several times and actually met some females. Its easy for me to talk to people, I like people and people like me, just havent asked anyone out. Maybe you ladies have it easier in that respect but I understand your delima on the dating thing. So I guess what the bottom line is do what your heart tells you is the best thing for you. You do need to be around people who like and respect you. Only us B/S know what its like to be treated like crap by someone we love. Its a bummer and drag on our self-respect, confidence, and dignity.

You are welcome.<P>One more thought...if you are dating from a broken, wounded weak position, you are not going to attract healthy people.<P>The healthier YOU are, the stronger YOU are, the better chances you have of finding and keeping a relationship together that is good.<P>This is time for you now. Take it and enjoy it.<P><P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

Hi TIG:<P>I'm sorry that your situation has come to this....and I agree that there is no advantage to your filing in Texas.<BR>Anything he pleas in his divorce petition has to be proved and you can always file a cross-petition if necessary....it will also save you from $200+/- dollars in court costs. A charge of adultery could help you get a larger percentage of the property as a "fault in the breakup of the marriage" concept.<P>There are also temporary orders and such to help with the interim expenses if you want that...but if you are interested in staying in the marriage then you need to have as low a profile as possible. WS are bad enough once they decide to leave the marriage...things can get ugly when money and child custody gets in the way. Stick with what is required by law for him at the very least.<P>Oh, by the way, in Texas, a mother can ask for special visitation for a child until it reaches the age of three.<P>Those legalities out of the way...this dating business????<P>I know it seems like that it is way to move on...but you are really not ready for that...remember that you are involving another person in a situation where issues have not been resolved...very similar to an affair in emotional backlash...you need to spend some time and deal with the loss of your marriage before you truly can move on. We have to fix ourselves...and that takes time. Most experts recommend at least a year or more before dating after a divorce. That sucks doesn't it...you've already been alone enough...but the experts usually know from what they speak...experience.<P>Now...to whether you really want a divorce or not....what you want now is based on the feedback you are getting from your WS...most of it negative...and it's hard to keep hoping in the face of all that. Why don't you step back and let the Lord do his work...along with time...because both of them can do wonders for an WS's opinions. If I had given up so long ago when all I was hearing was how I was to blame...how I need to learn how to treat a man...how he wasn't "in-love" with me anymore...I would probably be divorced now. But there was always something telling me to hold on...this wasn't the man I married...he had changed. But what he had changed into was basically against everything he had been brought up to live by...and I just knew that someday all this would come home to him...and it did. But it was not so much anything I did...although after I discovered MB and plan A'd awhile we did begin to have some fruitful talks...time, the Lord and the inherent goodness of the man have done their magic...and now he's ready.<P>I wish it could be so for your WS too...but only God knows what he has in store for him. But why not give him a chance?<P>Faye<P><BR>

Bump!!!!!! How are you! Hope God is helping you to be strong! My thoughts and prayers are still with you!

Cherise,<P>I'll live, if that's what you mean. However, I've been crying all weekend, probably had about 6 hours sleep all weekend. My children and I came home last night and H had taken all of his stuff. The reality of the situation hit the kids hard. They are very hurt and angry now. They want me to move on and meet someone else. They say their dad doesn't deserve me.<P>Kids left messages on Dad's voice mail, very harsh ones. I let them express themselves, and OS said "I hate you" to his dad. They are very hurt and angry. H called me sometime after midnight, after I had actually gotten to sleep, wanting to speak to YS. I told him no. He wanted to come over this morning to speak with him. I told him no. He needs to stay away from my house. I am very hurt and angry. Kids need time to calm down because reality hit them hard. He is forcing the issue. I may have to get a restraining order. I told him that he will see YS on Wednesday, and he can talk to him then.<P>My eyes are swollen almost shut from crying and lack of sleep. I will be going to Georgia for a Minister's Meeting/Revival at the end of this month. I really need that vacation. My kids, I think, have decided to go with me. It'll be good spiritual medicine. I guess I will wait on God to do whatever it is he needs to do with my H, but I can't "Plan A" anymore. I want him away from me. It hurts too much. And I pray every day for God to take away the hurt and the love if it's not meant for us to be together.<P>(SIGH) I wait.<P>TIG