Well, I have finally had it with H. I'm at our business, and he's at home, probably snoring without a care in the world. He has no idea where I am, and I am NOT going home tonight, and will leave here early in the morning because I just do not want to see or deal with him.<P>Today, we won a court case where I was being sued for terminating our cellphone contract due to extremely poor service and refusing to pay the liquidation fees because of the poor service. <P>Afterwards, H said, "Let's go get lunch." Well, the little cafe down the street from our business has apparently closed down, and there is virtually nowhere else to eat except the Chinese place (eat too much and we're miserable afterwards), McDonalds (yuck!), and Cafe Woman's. So....I'm feeling pretty good, so I tell him, "Well, we can eat at CW's place if you want. I've never minded your going there <B>with me</B>." <P>H said, "I can go there by myself if I want to."<P>I feel a chill, but say, very quietly and calmly, "Yes I guess you can."<P>H: "That's not why I quit going there anyway. I quit going there because she's not doing business with us."<P>I said nothing, but his remark just cut me to the core. And, here I thought that he had finally realized that it hurt me too much for him to go up there all the time. This was after my last meltdown back in the spring.<P>Anyway, he remembered that he had brought some spaghetti to the store, so we just went back to the store. I passed on the spaghetti because I had lost my appetite. Our daughter who works for us went to lunch, and he watched TV in the front office while I cried (could not hold back the tears) in the back office while pretending to work. I made a couple of trips to the bathroom in an effort to hide my tears, but when he came to kiss me before leaving, he HAD to have seen my red, puffy eyes and nose. However, he said nothing, and neither did I. I've learned that he does NOT want to know why I'm crying.<P>After D comes back, I leave to go to Office Depot in another town. I got the stuff, and went to see if my best friend was home. Enroute, H called me and said that everything was closed, so there wasn't any point to getting the stuff. I told him I already had it. He asked where I was, and I said that I was just riding. When asked why, I told him I just wanted to ride. BF wasn't home, so I ended up at a bar and grill (nice one). I ordered an appetizer, since I hadn't had lunch, and went on to have 3 screwdrivers and 4 Jim Beams and diet coke. I was feeling it (but wasn't very drunk) by 6:30, so I ordered a plain diet coke, and called another friend to see if she and her H would come get me and my truck. Her H was at work, plus she had already had a couple of beers, so she couldn't come get me. I called H to tell him that I would be home when I sobered up. H went off on me, saying, "What in the f*^& is wrong with you? You're in some f-ing bar with some f-ing man!" and hung up. I called back and said, "If I am, what the h#!! do you care?" and hung up and turned off my phone.<P>So....I sat there until 9:15, drinking plain diet cokes and eating homemade rolls, while watching the news. I also got sick when I went to the bathroom right after talking to her (Jim Beam after vodka ), so by 9:15, I was sober. I went on over to her house and talked to her. Her H called while I was there to make sure I was OK. I finally left her house by 10:45, so here I am. <P>So, I'm ready for Plan B. I do not want to talk to H or even see him. Since our S got back together with his ex, I'm planning on moving into his vacant house. (S owes me big time, since I paid off his car when he was in financial difficulties.) I figure that I can come to work at night and/or take work home with me, and thus avoid contact with H.<P>I guess I'll be writing my Plan B letter tonight. If H wants me, he will have to prove it instead of providing lip service, because his account in my love bank would be in the red if it wasn't for overdraft protection, and the overdraft protection loan is just about maxed out. I am done with his being "oh-so-sweet and lovey-dovey" for a couple of days and then going back to the same ole thing. I will be 51 years old on Sunday, and I've spent too many years feeling unloved and unwanted. If I'm going to be unloved and unwanted, then I'd just as soon be by myself. Three + years of a fairly decent Plan A is all I can stand.<P>This on top of being upset about the attack on our nation! Who needs this garbage?!<P>BTW, I'm going to donate blood in the morning. Anybody else?<P>LC<BR>

Donate??? Sounds like you are already pickled???? LOL!!!<P>LC,<BR>He is not meeting all your needs? Did you think he would this quickly? Hm...... Is it enough to throw in the towel on? I am not asking to be mean. Actually I gotta think about this myself. <P>Mr. No Conversation man makes me wonder sometimes. Is there something wrong with me? So he 'thinks' he can handle Cafe W. They think they are tough remember? Don't want to be a wimp, so they act macho!!! Male ego stuff. Are you surprised? <P>Now rethink what you wrote and then ask if you still want to stay somewhere else tonight. I think you will sleep better where you are comfortable. <P>Gotta go, will check up with you in the morning if this place let's me in!!!! <P>L.

Well, I was headed toward getting pretty well pickled until I decided that I wanted to remain some shred of dignity. Thank goodness I was already in the ladies' room when I got sick!! <P>I was sober by the time I left the bar, though. Nothing like a few TALL Diet Cokes and a lot of bread to sober ya up! Of course, then I still had to make a few trips to the ladies' room, only not to get sick! LOL! The ol' bladder ain't what she used to be!<P>The only things my H has done as far as meeting my needs are to stop screwing other women (as far as I know, although I have good reason to believe that he would if he thought he could get away with it! ), be a little more affectionate to me (pats on the back and a grope every now and then) and try to speak to me more respectfully, have sex with me again, and he bought me a new wedding band (although he is avoiding renewing vows like the plague).<P>He will not be accountable to me for his time, he has informed me that he will go to bars and beer joints without me if he wants to, and he will not go to counseling (<B>He's</B> not the one with the problem, he says). He also made it quite clear that any affair or relationship discussion is out of the question, and that he is not going to be "punished." He has also not told me the whole truth. He said that he regretted screwing the STD Tramp, but that it was my fault he did.<P>I am supposed to "just get over it" all by myself, and he says that I am the one with the problem.<P>I have been Plan A-ing since April of 1998. He finally admitted to the STD Tramp in August of 1999 after lying about it for 14 years, but nothing else. Time for Plan B.<P>LC