Well again you all have hit on a strong topic...... I tried to stay away but me and my itchy fingers just had to post my thoughts. <P>Your comments are interesting. These mental pictures are bad. I have the unjust pleasure of seeing a picture that OW sent to H with them having sex. Yes, just that part. YUCK!!!! talk about a mental whammy. That ugly part (grey hair and all!!??) pops up at the most inopportune times (like there ever is a good time)? <P>Sends me shivering. Nerve convulsions? I don't know the medical term but I shake, my heart races, I cry. Can't stop, my energy drains, I get angry and very very weak.....<P>Should I have never seen her face or her body parts and never read those disgusting e-mails? Maybe, but they did serve their purpose. No not the body part one, I really could have done with out that one, I came across is by accident. Still yuck.....<P>Exposing the A as much as possible helped me to go forward. Now OW is not the mystery and what finally came out is not a pretty picture. Physically she won't win a prize for the most ugly woman contest but her inner beauty is shot, she in my book she should be awarded the medal of horror. <P>About forgiving the OP. Hm..... you know, forgiveness by Christ does extend more than man usually does. I have even said that if OW were to change her ways (from this point forward), I could forgive her. But as it stands forgiveness of her past and current actions can not be done. Not as long as she continues to flaunt herself wherever or whenever she wants. I pity the next family she reeks havoc on. Forgiveness in this sense is no longer mine to give. God and Christ are not required to forgive sinners who are not repentant. I agree with their viewpoint. <P>JHMO,<BR>L.<BR>

I do see your point Orchid.<BR>Surely if they are unrepentent that is something altogether different.<BR>I am so sorry about your mental pictures. I have to work with OM so I do see him everyday, but I don't have REAL pictures to base the fake ones in my head on. That has to be very tough. <BR>Well, this post is probably losing steam now, but I just want to thank you all for advice. I certainly know that time, prayer, faith, and the continued love I have for ConfusedHeart, will be the things that not only make the images go away, but continue to restore this love I have for her. Nothing will make it any easier right now, but in my battle I am gaining such amazing character and truly learning what it is to kill off a selfish nature. I never want to be what I was when I had my A, ever again. I believe God's work is permanent, not just for me, but for all of us here. Both BS and WS's. <BR>

This might all sound kinda crazy, but have you thought that maybe just getting out of this whole thing and getting away from OM would help. Get another job or something.<BR>Maybe that would help you with these images in your head. <BR>Maybe you are not helping them go away by staying too close to them. <BR>