I ask for my girlfriend...<BR>Isn't alienating family and friends from her one way to control her? Amongst a million other things, the newest issue is he had a confrontation with a family member of hers, where her kids are taken care of (day care) so she can work. It was unprovoked, and came out of nowhere. He stated he didn't want his kids over there. And there isn't ANY reason to feel that way that anyone can see. But if she doesn't have them there, then no day care, then she can't work out of the house, and she is HOME under MORE house arrest...I can't give more details since it isn't my story..but, does this sound textbook abusive H?<BR>TIA <BR>2worlds

Bump...PLEASE?

Hi 2worlds,<P> Ok I'll take a stab at this. Keep in mind that I am no expert and can only tell you what I have heard, what I believe and how I personally feel on the subject.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Isn't alienating family and friends from her one way to control her? Amongst a million other things,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P> I have heard that this behavior is a classic sign, and one of the biggest alarms, one of the FISRT things to watch for in an emotional abuser. Not to mention a physical abuser. <P> However, one would have to take into account whether these friends are people who encourage bad behavior for the wife/girlfriend, whatever. Some friends are not friends at all. They cause a spouse to do things detrimental to the marriage and family. Without better information these things have to be looked at.<P><BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>the newest issue is he had a confrontation with a family member of hers, where her kids are taken care of (day care) so she can work. It was unprovoked, and came out of nowhere. He stated he didn't want his kids over there. And there isn't ANY reason to feel that way that anyone can see.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P> Again this should raise alarm bells. But, with the information you have provided, or lack of it, it would be extremely hard to judge this man as an abuser. We do not know any of the particulars. There could be numerous reasons why a parent would not want an individual to babysit their children. Perhaps he heard or wittnessed something that everyone else is unaware of. Perhaps the home where the children are being looked after is unsanitary. Maybe the caregivers smoke. Have pets. Any number of things.<P> I personally would not want to label this man as an abuser with the information provided. It would simply be wrong to do so without knowing more. <P> I am sure there are websites available on the internet that explains all the signs and symtoms. Just bring up a search engine and type in abuse. You will probably be surprised at the number of web pages on the topic.<P> jd <BR>

Thanks, jd :-)<BR>I don't feel right giving any more information without her go ahead. I did give her the addy to MB's, so I guess it is up to her to add her details. But I will try the search engine thing..tomorrow..I am too sleepy right now..LOL<P>:-)<BR>2worlds

2worlds,<BR>I bumped this up for you.. wasn't sure if you saw it... it might help a tad.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/011045.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/011045.html</A> <BR>