Honestly, truthfully, and without a doubt, I would not take my H back now if he got down on his knees and begged. He has gone too far when he hurts my family. This guy that I married is the ULTIMATE JERK! I can't believe I stuck with him, faithfully, and went above and beyond for 12 years for our marriage, just to be treated like this.<P>The ABSOLUTE ONLY WAY I would ever take him back is if he gave his life to God, and that's between him and God. I am asking God every day to heal my broken heart and let me move on. I know you guys say I shouldn't date, but, hey, I have no problem with it now.<P>You may think it's my anger, but really its not. Ever since I basically plan B'd him last week, I have been really happy and content with just me and the kids. I haven't been needy, have been enjoying time with the kids, and enjoying getting on with my life, knowing that I'm getting a divorce.<P>He went too far today. He owes me $1500 for a credit card bill that is under my parents name. Instead of giving me the money, he goes out and spends it on a hotel so he can have a place to take the kids. He couldn't wait for a couple of months to get a place. He said it was my fault because I wouldn't let him take the kids to his brother's house (brother smokes). I said he could take the older kids there, but not the baby. Anyway, it doesn't take $1500 to get a room. Where's the rest? Now, I may have to move out. I told him that I will make sure the kids know that he's the cause.<P>I am sooo angry right now. He said he had to move on, and I would get my money when he could pay me. He said I wasn't a priority. I told him that if he ever left me stuck with that bill, then I would get mean. NOW, I intend to keep my promise. I will ask for spousal support, alimony, and anything else I can get. He called me a *itch. Well, if that's what he wants, then he's got it. If he's going to accuse me of being a *itch, then that's what he'll get. I could care less about him now.<P>I HAVE HAD IT!<P>Good luck to you all!<BR>Sandra

Sandra - does it help to say I've felt your level of frustration?<P>Does it help to say MOST of us have felt your level of frustration?<P>Does it help to say I validate your feelings, that your feelings are normal and justified, and you are completely NORMAL for feeling the way you do?<P>Does it help to say that the person you are struggling with IS NOT your husband - not the person you've spent years with - but some imposter controlled by forces within him that you neither you nor he can control?<P>Let me be blunt.<P>You are trying to fix something not within your power to fix. Only he can do it. You should give up on "him", the imposter, not "him" who hides within, the one certainly to re-emerge in the future.<P>So, by all means, give up on the imposter - Plan B does that. Save yourself for the reawakening that is almost certain to come. Vent here to us, not to him, for it will do no good.<P>Trust in God and the power of the inner spirit within your H.<P>WAT

WAT,<P>I just don't think I have it in me to wait on him, and trust in him. He has been unfaithful to me with different partners for the last 5 years, and now he's pursuing my ex-best friend. Actually, I think she's what made him think he didn't love me anymore. She's in denial - doesn't think he has feelings for her. But he has alienated his entire family (brothers, sisters, parents, kids, and me) to keep his "friendship" with her. She knows how it hurts me that he is over there all the time, and when they go places together. I told him he had to stay away from her if we were going to get a divorce. He still goes there. Yesterday, she went with him and my son to the movies. I know we were both her friends, but you'd think she'd stick by the one that was not doing wrong. I've pleaded with her, and told her how I feel, and she says it's the principle - I shouldn't be making her choose between us. I can't take it anymore. My kids can't take it anymore. I told him yesterday that I don't need a friend like that. He headed straight over to tell her what I said. He tells her everything I say bad about her, and many times twists my words around.<P>I REALLY don't want to keep trying. I will stick with you guys, and perhaps the next person I meet, we can start out right with MB principles, but my H is not worth the wait. The only thing that would change my mind is God entering his life for good. Other than that, he's a lost cause. If God's not in his life, he's an alcoholic, adultress buffoon!<P>I don't need it anymore. I'm not venting to him either, unless he angers me about the money. I am to a point now where I hardly even cry about it. I just don't care! I know you have all felt that way, but I really don't feel anything but anger towards him now. It's got to end. <P>Thanks,<BR>Sandra