Hello all. Just wanted to update everyone on my situation and hopefully get some feedback. Today H and I went to N.Y. to visit my father in the hospital. Things went well, I tried to talk to him on the the way and I got the usual WS foggy answers. One thing I ask H was do you honestly want a D. first he said I don't know then he said right now probably next week who knows it all depends on your attitude? Hello my attitude. The man drives me insane. We had a decent day. Visited my father walked around NY for awhile went to dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe and then drove home. I grabbed his hand while we were walking around the city and he said on no I told you no more romance. I said me holding your hand is romance. So I let go. Later we were crossing an intersection and he grabbed my hand for a little while. We got home picked up the kids and he came in for a minute gave the kids hugs goodbye gave me a hug and then left said he'd call me tomorrow cause the kids have games. I don't get him. I am really trying to be patient it's so hard. I'm trying not to LB but I keep screwing up maybe if I had my mouth sewn shut or my tongue removed I'd have a better shot. I think H wants me to be the kind of wife that is seen and not heard and obeys him and then our marriage will never have conflict. He seems to be content with living where he is and we play family or do the family thing on the weekends. That's not enough for me. He refuses to go to counseling because he says that he doesn't have a problem I said but our M does. Any advice would be greatly apprciated. I don't want 6mos. to turn into a year and then 2yrs. and I'm still in the same position.<BR>cybil

I know how you're feeling about the 6 months. I'm at 6 months and am starting to wonder if it is ever going to end. <BR>Have you ever gone to plan B? Or have you at least tried to back off so that he has to always make the connections for awhile?<BR>What if you became so busy outside the home that you didn't have much time for him?<BR>I'm just rambling off ideas here as I'm sorry I can't remember your story that well.<BR>He seems like he wants to hang on to you. It's funny how when they're in the fog they think everyone should please them. My WH is the same. He thinks I don't do things good enough, even though he's living with the OW!!!!

Hi Mazey yes I did try to Plan B for about a week after not really doing a good Plan A. I had no contact with him and when he would call or come to get the kids I would ignore him or only talk to him if absolutely necessary for the sake of the kids. I know it bothered him because he had ask me is this how it's going to be and I said yes and of course he was nice and I gave in. I'm not good at consistency. I know that he doesn't want to give me up completely. I'm not strong enough to stay away from him either I wish I were. I pray every night for strength, courage and guidance. I feel as though there is a lesson here for me to learn and I keep screwing up and the longer I screw up the longer it's going to take me to get through this ordeal.<BR>C