It seems as though all of my marital problems have been put aside for the moment, maybe forever. My H is in the Marines. There is no official word yet, but they are telling them to get ready. I know that we should fight back, but it is different when it will be my husband doing the fighting.<BR>I am so terrified that something could happen to him. I guess I never thought that something like this could happen. Please say a prayer for my family and keep us in your thoughts.<P>Any other military members here? If so.. with the threat level at Charlie... what is is like getting on base where you are? It is very scary here in Camp Lejeune NC. They all have M-16's. The wait is almost an hour.<P>Scared,<BR>Heather

Prayers, love and light coming your way Heather, for you and your H.

Adding my prayers...<P>Kathi

Hi!<BR>I was a career military spouse for 29 yrs prior to divorce. I currently have 2 sons in the military, one in the Navy and the other in the Marines. I do understand the fear you are going through. You are scared not only for him and your family, but also for the future.<BR>YOur job right now, is to support your husband any way you can. He is just as scared. You canexpress your love and fears, but don't let the fear take over.Let him see the strong side of you. He needs to know that while he is taking care of busness over there, you will be taking care of business at home. Reach out to the other wives in your husbands unit--they are probably just as scared. Rumors always spread like wild fire, so never panic--always check reliable sources for any info.<BR>I considered it a great privledge to have served my country by being a military spouse, and now being the mother of two sons in the military. Be stron, be proud, and support your husband!

db713,<P>You are one strong person...i would be an utter mess if i knew my son was going to war. Patriotic or not.

Heather:<P>Having spent 28 years both active duty and guard in the Army, I can understand your fears.<P>No soldier yearns for war. But it is what we do, what we train for. Just as the firemen, police officers and emergency medical personnel rushed to confront danger, we, too shall go in harm's way.<P>The whole concept of military training is that we fight bloodless wars so that wars are bloody training. In many regards, the training is harder than actual combat.<P>At 18, I slogged through rice paddies, toiled in jungles. And while I, among most others, wondered what we were doing there, we never failed in our devotion to duty, to our country, and to each other.<P>Since that time, I have had the privilege of seeing the fruits of our vigilance and dedication manifest itself: the Berlin Wall, and the countless miles of guard towers, fences and minefields that separated eastern Europe no longer exist; Kuwait and Saudi Arabia still produce their oil; and those who perpetrated crimes against humanity in the Balkans are being brought to justice.<P>John Paul Jones once said, "Give me a tall ship and a star to steer her by, for I intend to go in harm's way."<P>Well, Heather ... and all you other spouses of those who serve in our military: our nation is a tall ship of state, we have the guiding star of our ideals and our sense of justice to guide us. And, as President Bush has said, we will respond and be heard. In doing so, we will go in harm's way.<P>Having survived the bitter lessons of Vietnam, and then experienced the unanimous support of the population during Desert Storm, I cannot emphasize how important it is to offer your unconditional and full support.<P>People have been asking in the aftermath of 11 September, "What can I do?"<P>You can support, offer encouragement, and offer love to those who go in harm's way. Such support, encouragement and love contributes significantly to military morale and the will to win.<P>It was the lack of such support ... not so much of the war, but of the men themselves ... that demoralized the nation and her sons fighting in Vietnam, and that ultimately led to our withdrawal. As a nation, we must never, never let those that go in harm's way feel that abandonment again.<P>So rally around your sons and daughters, husbands and wives, nieces and nephews. In so doing, you will all have contributed to the war that our President has so rightly declared.<P>Often this week, I have regretted my decision to give up my commission. But common sense has prevailed in my mind and heart: it is a time for other American sons and daughters to take up arms, and that I can now only do what the rest of Americans must do: support those who go in harm's way.<P>In closing, I can only state how privileged I was to have served this great nation, and to have led the finest soldiers in history. I wish them, and their families and loved ones ...<P>Godspeed,<P>STL<BR>former Commander<BR><I>xx</I>th Bn,<BR>Army National Guard,<BR>Retired<P>ps: obviously, to preserve my privacy in this forum, I omit direct reference to the unit in which I last served.<p>[This message has been edited by SeenTheLight (edited September 16, 2001).]

Commander:<BR>What an excellant commentary--I salute you.<BR>I, again say to all the wifes and girlfriends, and all the boyfriends and husbands of our military--stand behind and support all the military. You don't have to agree with policy--but we all need to rally behind the people who are putting their lives on the line, so we can have the freedom to disagree!! Don't feel helpless, because there are many ways to help. Go have a cup of coffee with another scared spouse. Go babysit, so the couple can have a few minutes alone, let the person just vent their fears and concerns. Go volunteer at the Red Cross, or USO. Each unit usually has a spouses club--get involved. Hang your flag, decorate your car. ,Tell every service member you see how much you appreciate what they are doing. Show your love by acting positively and showing your pride and support of our great nation!! And please don't forget the service member who may not have a spouse or significant other--reach out to them also!! Everyone in this nation is scared, and if they aren't , then they should be! The best way to conquer that fear, is to stare it directly in the face!<BR>This nation is and always will be number one, and its time we band together and show the world why!!

Heather.. I understand what u are going through about your marital problems be putting on hold for this.. I to am a military wife.. although my problems are not on hold I hate to say (I'm leaving tomorrow for a while).. he just reclassed MOS's from infantry to linguist so he is at the school right now... the threat of him having to go back to being infantry is playing on my mind though... what if he gets called back and here I am in another state--I want to spend all the time I can with him but it seems impossible right now... were we are at the housing is not under guard but the school is(located differently).. I have talked to my friends back at ft. campbell and it's like u said all the m-16's, has to show id every parking lot and to get into every building.. my friend could not even take her husband food while on cq duty.. no civilians allowed! On top of my H being military i also have a brother that is currently at NTC so you know he's ready to go quicker than others..Anyway.. I just wanted to let you know I do understand what you are feeling and offer my support... my prayers are with you... <P>another military wife<BR>tammy

Tammi, and others...<P>Thank you all for your nice words. All we can do is sit back and wait to see what they tell him to do.<BR>I just hope that whatever happens ends fast. People are scaring me to death though by telling me things like he might be gone for well over a year or more.<BR>What do I tell my daughter.."Oh Daddy is off fighting the bad guys who drove the planes into those buildings?"<P>I just wish that none of this was happening. I hope that President Bush knows what he is doing. I know nothing about him, I just hope he is a smart man, and takes care of our Marines.<P>Everyone just try to keep us in your thoughts. It is bad enough that all of those innocent people had to lose their lives, but now our husbands, sons, fathers, brothers may have to go fight and lose theirs.<P>God Bless Everyone,<BR>Heather<P>PS.. Is it possible to be "cured" of my pain from his EA/PA because of all of this? I havent thought about a thing other than how much I love him and I am worried about his safety.

Heather....<P>I don't think you will ever be "cured" of the pain you talk about. However, it will lessen in time, and the thoughts of it will also become farther apart. It has been four yrs since my spouse left me for OW, and when I least expect it, something will trigger amemory. But thanks to time, it is there for just a brief minute and then I go on to something else. For a long time I had to consciously force myself to think of other things. Right now your focus has changed, and you will see your priorities get in alignment with what you really want in life.<BR>As for what to tell your daughter---don't tell her he went to fight the bad guys. Tell her he is off defending our country and that you and everyone in America are very proud of him. Always keep it positive! Don't let your fear get the best of you, because it will spread to your child. The President will take care of the Marines and all the other service members. As I told you before, the military take care of their own, especially the Marines!! Remember their motto at all times!

SS,<BR>My H is stationed in Germany. Full Alert, m-16's, closed gates, curfew, etc...<P>Actually, I am suppose to fly back tomorrow. My D and I were on our way back Tuesday when the tragedy began. I am afraid to go back, but I need to get my D to school and myself back to work. <P>All my prayers....its all in God's hands<BR>Take care,<BR>Clouds

RE: Is it possible to be "cured" of my pain from his EA/PA because of all of this? I havent thought about a thing other than how much I love him and I am worried about his safety. <P>Perhaps this has put all in perspective for you. What are the most important things in your life? I think you have the answers now.<P>Z

I have a brother who is a helicopter pilot in the Army, he is stationed in Korea right now. I know my sister-in-law is staying with my father in SC and she is pregnant with their 2nd child. I know how she must feel, and I know he is worried as well. He served in Desert storm, but he wasn't a father and didn't have a family back then so it was a lot easier. I am concerned for him and his family, as well as for all of the military personel and their families. I will pray for them all.<P>I know in my line of work I have scary moments, and I get concerned about my safety, I actually think about the fact I may not come home at the end of the day when I am on my way to work every day and that does scare me sometimes. This is why I always make sure I don't leave on bad terms and I always give my W a big kiss and hug and tell her how much I love her before I go, you never know it could be my last hug and kiss. <P>I have a real hard time if my W gets upset at me or if she is worried about my safety and gets upset about that. I end up thinking about her and our problems when I am at work and all that can do is get me hurt. My point is, be strong for him and make sure if he has to go, not to fight with him and always support him and tell him you know he will come home and you will be waiting here for him. Try not to get all upset, I know that is hard to do, but getting upset will upset him, and he doesn't need to have his mind anywhere other than staying alive and on his job. Be strong for him and he will be strong for you. <P>Oh, same goes for if he goes, don't send him letters about problems at home, don't lie, just try to tell him everything is good at home so he doesn't worry about things at home...As I said his mind needs to be on staying alive and doing his job not on problems....also if you keep everyithing positive it will give him encouragement to come home.<P>I will be praying for you and all the military families out there.

Hi Heather I know what you are going throught we are in the Army and what a mess we have here also. We rae on Delta threat con here and we have had people wait up to 4 hours to get on base. I am also having some problems with my marriage if you would like to write to me please let me kow and I will give you my e-mail address. We need to help each other out.<P> <p>[This message has been edited by mostlyhurt (edited October 02, 2001).]

We've had to put a lot of my problems aside because of the intense workload my H has taken on which in turn increases my workload here at home when he is working late and on weekends. He and I both served in the Army during Desert Storm. We had no children then-now we have four children.<P>We are both civilians now but we both still work for the Army, me as a contract nurse and him as a deployment officer. He makes sure the units as well as individual soldiers get themselves and their supplies, equipment, vehicles to wherever they are deploying.<P>The suggestions other MBers have offered are fantastic. You need to be strong for him and your family. Share your fears and concerns with other spouses. I am on a military spouses discussion group that I can refer you to if you wish. We are from all walks of life all over the world, from all branches and professions.<P>Things in our relationship blew up once again the weekend before the attacks when I found out he was not being faithful to me, again, and I had to confront him, again. Then I had one of his OW calling our house; then it was the OW husband calling me. You can read through my posts about my ordeal over the past few months with him. Last week was incredibly tense for us. <P>This week has been more peaceful. We've been getting along better. I think the attacks were a wake up call to him in more ways than I can imagine. What little time we have to spend together is spent in loving conversation or reading to each other from His Needs, Her Needs, among others. Make this time with him as peaceful and loving as you can. <P>Mostly hurt, I saw you are in Kansas...I'm near the army post there...is that where you are?<P>Bluebird

Stay,<P>Mine too. What wonderful words of wisdom for us both here on this post. <P>My H is in the Army National Guard, with about 12 yrs active duty behind him. We weren't together yet then, but he was deployed during Operation Desert Storm. I hate the thought of the possibility of him having to venture into that sandy wasteland again. <P>SS we can chose to look at it like this - this is a duty to which they are called; a duty which they proudly, bravely carry out. They are fortunate to have loving, strong, capable wives like you and I to hold it all together back on the homefront. It takes a special kind of spouse to do that, and we have what it takes in our hearts. <P>I will miss mine if he goes. I will be lonely and fearful every day, but I will never lose hope that he will come home, soon, and safely. I will have confidence in us both to adhere faithfully to the vows we have made. <P>You will be in my thoughts, SS. And do just that - STAY STRONG! <P>Khyra

Thank you all for your kind words.<P>God Bless our devine Country,<BR>Heather<P>------------------<BR>"What do you do when the person who usually wipes away your tears is the one who is making you cry?"