I found out that she is now flirting with a new guy online. Telling him he is co cute etc. I know she gave him a link to pictures of her on a web site. I gather she was on video because he was asking if she had any tattoos or persings, she said no and asked him. Well it turns out he has his pecker pierced and offered to show her on video chat, she said yes she wanted to see and appeared very interested. And said how cool it is etc and talked about how it was during sex, does it hurt, feel better etc.<P>That was last night. She has been telling me about how she has been trying to get him to stop bugging her etc. That was somewhat true, but at the same time she was flirting with him and kept talking to etc. So do today when she was telling me how difficult it was getting rid of him etc. Because she “said, that it “Makes her mad when people hit on her and say how beautiful she is without really knowing what she looks like. So I asked if she thought he was cute she said kind of, but he was young and acted like it, then I asked if he knew what he looked like and she said “NO WAY”. And I KNOW she sent him to a site with TWO pictures of her on it.<P>Now what?<P>Heartbroken again,after all the talk about how important honisty and trust is.<BR>

Makes me wonder what else is a lie. (

Confront her, with what you know and can prove. Nothing that you speculate. Stick to the current and don't go into the passed. Tell her you are willing to work things out, even though you know. <P>I suggest setting a boundary. If you CATCH her doing it again, she must find another place to live. If she tells you she was tempted to or that she did it again - you will work through it with her. But don't say anything you can't follow through with. <P>

Probably not what you need to here, but could she have a sexual addiction ? ):

a pierced pecker??? wow thats a new one. I thought pierce belly buttons were still the rage- now I can see they are passe.Oh well- what do I know? I"m 38- probably an old fogey to you!

Janet Jackson has reputedly had QUITE a few things pierced, don't want to go into detail, but it's in the same bodily region as a pecker.

bigsouthwestsucker...Considering where I am with all of my mess, it may be wrong to try and help. But I can't help myself here. <P>I USED to be an online addict. I had a website with my pics on it. It felt good to have men tell me how pretty I am (their opinion) since I NEVER am told that at home. I had fun with my web cam (NO NUDIES) although I did have a link on my page to a NUDE page of me..but when you got there, you had to scroll down to see ...NOTHING..and a counter to see if you were a sucker for looking (giggle)..THAT was all in fun. However, my website did have pics of me. I am not quite sure what happened, but one day, not that long ago, I gave up my four year old online nic (even my H knew what that was) and took down my web page. I decided that what my name signified, was no longer me. At one point, I had become that person more hours of the day then I was my real self. It is an excape. It WORKS. There are people, as we even know from MB, that are on the other side of the screen who are REAL..Alot of psycho's out there, yes, but majority of them are real normal people. I do think the computer life has done me some good, but also caused me and my marriage great harm too. But I was adiment that this was MY hobby no different then fantasy football and darts where his,, AND I am HOME. (Ok, I was fooling myself then) Well, I have WAY grown out of my old habits..it lost it's appeal when I got out more, and started to meet real people. <P>As far as sexual addiction? I don't think so..I have had as many female friends online as I do male. Most of us women giggle at the fact that when we cyber (yes I used to do alot of that) it wasn't to get off, it was knowing we could or thought we could, get them off. It was a control issue. The men begging, you giving, and having fun at the same time. Sick, I know..but not uncommomn at all. It also was a creative outlet..believe it or not..LOL. It would take a very special person to get me "hot" enough for anymore than that. And I can't even remember when that was. <P>There was a period of time in the early stages of my online life, where I was cybering alot of men, and even was stupid enough to try phone sex..it was like a score card, how many could I do?..WHY? It boosted my little ego, even if temporarily. I am still in friendly contact with a few people from way back when, but not many. It is a FANTASY WORLD in here. I very, very rarely go into a chat room now, and if I do, I am looking for old friends..if I don't see them, I leave. NO not for sexual encounters..it is totally different. If I am asked, I may tease, but I generally joke about being 3 feet tall and weighing 400lbs, etc..or telling them NO...<P>What am I getting at? I think that I have been there, and done that. I am not a sexual addict, but I wanted to control something in my life. It was my bar scene I never had. And it was safe...or was it? It was fun, and thrilling. But superficial. I can tell you that sometimes it is hard to let down the ones who are strongly persuing you. Not because you can't resist them, but you don't want to hurt their feelings. DUMB I know..but it is a situation you are in at THAT moment. And since you know you aren't interested, emotionally or otherwise, and it doesn't matter to you anyhow, it can't hurt to let them down gently, hence, lightly flirting, but just to keep them from getting upset with you. <P>I had one gentleman (not sure why I am calling him that) who I saw in a chat room regualrly. I rarely spoke to him, other than "HI"..all of a sudden, he was sending me long emails and icq messages expressing his deep love for me and how incredibly wonderful I am..yadda, yadda, yadda...I would ask him right out, "you don't know me, we have never spent time together in ANY way, how can you say you are in love with me?" He said, he just "knew" and "was"...this continued for awhile..I would just say thank you, and talk small talk, and he would send me daily cyber roses, and cards etc..but I was creeped out a tad..WHY did I continue and not say BUZZ OFF? I didn't want to hurt his feelings, and especially because for some reason this man found me special. He can't be bad?!?!?! Well, I never did tell him to directly buzz off, but I did tell him I was flattered but I was all set right now. (there was NEVER any sexual talk whatsoever with this guy..just love sonnets, etc..LOL)<P>Anyhow..I talk too much this morning..I don't know if anything I have said would help..just my experience with being a computer head. I hope you can get a little insight to your W's online ways, and maybe see it differently, if there is something to see differently. <P>Best of luck....<P>2worlds